((OS)) He lives in My Heart

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May 20, 2015

((OS)) He lives in My Heart (By Taanihalai) (Thanked: 82 times)

I don’t understand why people say happy birthday, not everyone’s birthday is going to be a happy one, especially not mine.

Not just today, my birthday will never be a happy one for the rest of my life because there’s nothing in the whole world that would ever make me feel happy about it.

Everyone waits for their birthday excitedly for the whole years and then when it finally comes, they party and celebrate it with friends… for me it’s not that.

For the whole years I keep on wishing and praying to God to delete this fateful day completely from the calendar so that I don’t have to face it ever again.

Instead of throwing a huge party and having fun I lock myself in a room and cry my heart out.

Everyone else loves their birthdays, I hate mine like nothing else.

No, I’m not weird, neither am I mad, crazy or whatever anyone thinks, because there was a time I was like everyone, there was a time when I used to be excited like everyone else and wait for my boyfriend’s surprise until my eighteenth birthday…

How excited I was, I was going to be legally an adult and like every other teenager I was the happiest person in the world knowing that my boyfriend, my Arnav was surely planning something big for me… the way he had been behaving for the past few days said it all.

Arnav and I were friends since childhood, we grew up loving each other and everyone would envy us, our friendship and our relationship.

He was the most perfect boyfriend, the one I loved with all my heart, the one who would do anything to see me happy… and just like every birthday of my, he had planned a huge surprise for me.

Flashbacks…

It was the day I had always waited for, it was my birthday, I had turned eighteen today but Arnav wasn’t the first one to wish me.

I wondered why he would be so careless, I was waiting for him to call me at twelve in the midnight but he dint… I felt so angry but then thought he might have planned something that’s why he dint call.

Somewhere in the evening, he finally gave me a call, he sounded so low, his voice sounded so different as if he wasn’t okay but he dint tell me anything about it.

He just told me to be at a restaurant in half an hour and I was excited as hell, finally he called but he dint wish… maybe he had a surprise for me at the restaurant.. Maybe he would wish me there…

I quickly got dressed as beautifully as I could and rushed to meet him at the restaurant.

There a few waiters at the gate who led me to wherever Arnav was and as expected, he had planned the best surprise ever.

The whole restaurant was beautifully decorated with lights which blinked happy birthday Khushi…

It was completely empty as if he booked it all just for me.

Some waiters were playing some soft music on the violin and Arnav was sited on the chair staring at me with a smile on his face.

I walked towards him as he struggled to stand up which gave me a really weird feeling, why was it hard for him just to stand up?

His face dint look as bright as it always did, he was pale but he had a comforting smile on his face.

More than making me happy, he was getting me worried.

“You look gorgeous as usual my sweet girlfriend” he said as he held my hand and kissed on it.

His hands were trembling and that got me more worried.

“Arnav… are you okay?” I asked

“Yeah Khushi, I’m fine just got fever this morning but I’m good you need not to worry okay?” he said

“Thank you for the surprise Arnav but now I don’t care whatever you have planned ahead, we are visiting a doctor right away, look at you, you don’t look well at all”

“No, I am fine Khushi, I just need to spend some time with you please, after that I’ll do whatever you say… it’s you eighteenth birthday and I don’t want to spoil it, please baby”

“Okay” I said having no other option.

He held my hand as we both cut the cake together and he fed me with his own hand… then we were served dinner and it was the tastiest food ever.

After dinner we walked to each table that was in the hall and under it was a gift box placed, they all summed up to eighteen gift box, I couldn’t say how happy I was for all this.

We had a slow dance although he couldn’t even dance well and his body kept on getting weak and weak until… he fell down in between the dance and that was the end of my happiness.

“I told you we should visit the doctor, I’m not listening to you anymore, let’s go” I said worriedly.

“That doctors wouldn’t be able to save me Khushi… I just need to spend the last few moments of my life with you Khushi” he said

“What nonsense are you talking Arnav, you don’t have any kind of cancer that is not treatable so you do have a whole life to live with me, stop talking about last moments”

“The irony is, I got cancer Khushi” he said breaking my heart completely…

“No, tell me this is a stupid prank you are playing on me, Arnav stop kidding with me please”

“I’m not Khushi… I tried… I tried my best to hide it from you the longest I could but this was the end… I was in the last stage and in fact I had been admitted in the hospital since last night, sorry I couldn’t call you at twelve to wish you, I am really the worst boyfriend right?”

“No don’t say that, you are the best boyfriend and it’s not late we can go back to the hospital I’m sure you’ll be fine, let’s go please”

“They dint allow me to meet you, I knew you would be excited for your birthday and you would surely be waiting for a surprise from me, I had no option that to run away from there…

Nothing can save me anymore Khushi… even the doctors said that and so I thought instead of spending my last few moments on that hospital bed, I’d better spend them on your laps…

I am really sorry, please forgive me for the worst birthday gift ever, I couldn’t lie to you anymore… I wished to tell you the truth every time but then I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle your tears.

Just know it’s not late yet, you have just turned eighteen and you have a whole life ahead, promise me you’ll move on in life… promise me you’ll get married and have kids, promise me if he’s a boy you’ll name him Arnav…

Promise me that after I leave you’ll always smile… promise me your happiness Khushi… I haven’t fought for my cancer, I have fought for your happiness and if I leave you behind sad, I’ll never get peace wherever I go… so promise me you’ll always be happy…”

“Arnav I love you… I can’t be happy without you please… you can’t leave me like this”

I could see him struggling with his breaths, and there was completely nothing I could do… tears continuously rolled down my eyes, I felt like everything was coming to an end.

“Promise me that after today you won’t cry for me, promise me whenever you remember me, you’ll remember me with a smile…

Khushi this is the only birthday gift I could give you, I tried my best to fight my breaths so that I could live a bit longer, so that I could surprise you on your eighteenth birthday and I thank God he made that possible but this is the longest I could live, I’m really sorry for hiding the fact from you, I’m really sorry for lying to you when you asked me why I shaved my hair completely, I’m sorry I told you that the barber made a mistake and I had no choice… I’m sorry for ignoring you at a times… it’s all because I dint want to let you know I had cancer… I knew you’d break and I dint want that”

“You can’t leave me like this… you promised to be with me forever”

“I’m sorry.. I… I couldn’t… keep it” he said trying to breathe more

“Don’t say anything, you’re going to be fine okay, I’ll call for an ambulance…” I said as I quickly dialed a number on my phone.

He held my hand and looked into my eyes…

“Just know this… wherever I’ll be… I’ll always love you” he said as he closed his eyes slowly.

“Arnav!” I shook him but he refused to open his eyes

I slapped him and shouted at him and did whatever I could to wake him up but he dint… he left me forever on my birthday… why did he have to leave me alone?

Kise puchu, hain aisa kyun? Bezuban sa yeh jahaan hain…

Khushi ke pal, kahan dhoondhu… benishaan sa waqt bhi yahan hain…

Jaane kitne labon pe gile hain… zindagi se kahin faasle hain…

Bas jaate he sapne kyun aankhon me… lakeerein jab chute in hathon se yun bewajah…

Jo bheji thi duaa… woh jaake aasma se yun takragayi… ke aagayi he laut ke sadaa…

 

I prayed to God a million times to bring him back, I cried and shouted to the whole world, but no one listened to me, no one was able to bring my Arnav back to me and that was the worst kind of pain I ever felt in my life.

That was the end… the end of Arnav and Khushi… the end of my birthday… the end of my happiness…

I dint ever think, not even in my dreams that one day I would open my eyes and realize that my Arnav isn’t by my side.

Flashback ends…

 

Saanson ne kahan rukh modliya koi raha nazar me na aaye…

Dhadkan ne kahan dil chordiya kahan ****e in jismo ne saaye…

Yehi baar baar sochta hoon tanha mein yahan…

Mere saath saath chal raha he yaadon ka dhuaan…

Jo bheji thi duaa… woh jaake aasma se yun takragayi… ke aagayi he laut ke sadaa…

 

“Mom, what are you doing? We are getting late come on hurry up” my little one said as he ran towards me.

“I’m ready baby, I’ll just the car keys and we leave okay?”

“Mom stop calling me baby, I got a name, Arnav is my name if you have forgotten”

“Your name is something that I can’t even forget after a memory loss” I smiled at him as I got my car key and we both headed to the hospital.

It had been eight years since Arnav passed away… I promised him to move on and name my baby boy with his name…

I did move on but dint get married, I adopted my baby a few years back and since then he has been my reason to smile…

We both have been visiting this hospital almost three to four times in a months and on my birthday to help the young children with cancer.

After Arnav passed away, I completed my studies and got a good job, although I don’t earn much but I help with the little I can and it make both me and Arnav happy.

I promised him to move one I did, but what I couldn’t do was to fall in love once again, or get married to someone else… he was the only one who deserved that place in my heart and it would always remain for him.

Although I hate my birthday since that day he left me, there’s nothing I can do to decrease my pain than just visit this young children fighting with cancer and help them.

All I do is now wait for the day my baby would grow up and leave his life on his own so that when the day comes when God would finally decide to take me to wherever my Arnav is so that if not on earth we would be together somewhere in heaven, little Arnav wouldn’t have a hard time without me.

Cancer snatched Arnav from me but it couldn’t manage to snatch away the love I had for him and nothing in the world would ever be able to do that… he still lives in my heart.


hello readers... so this is an OS  have written for the competition organized by Nanak and Nishaa, please leave your comments and let me know how you found it




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