I Need You (OS)

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Oct 6, 2015

I Need You (By Inars) (Thanked: 71 times)

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. "You look like a mess Raizada."

"I know."

"Go home. I'll finish the report here."

Home? It was a strange word. I didn't want to be at home. I didn't want to see her dying. Everyday. A slow painful death. I couldn't see her fake smiles of assurances that she would live, live with me. I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I didn't know when I thanked Akash or stepped inside my car but I was home, standing at the door, my hands raised to ring the bell.

I didn't know who opened the door for me, I didn't care. At least not now when my world was ending. Slowly choking me, killling me in its awake.

She was on the bed, a limp figure. Her face pale, her eye lashes and brows almost gone, her pink lips white, she was hurting. I could see it from the door. Her uneven and laboured breathings were too loud now. And for once in my life I was of no use. All my wealth was nothing. I was nothing. I felt small. Too small.

She smiled at me, the same assured smile that had no effect on me now. I wanted to squeeze her, take her in my arms but I couldn't. It would hurt her. And I hadn't changed. I knew I had to clean up before to meet her but the need to see her overpowered everything else.

"How was your day?" Even her four small words were whispered with so much pain that I had to close my eyes. She was in pain. A lot. But I had to be brave. For she knew me, knew my mind like the back of her hand. She was trying to show a brave front but I knew it was hurting her more. But I had to keep this fake fascade, for her sake, for her only request. Her last wish as she had pronounced. That everything was fine. That she wasn't sick.

"Usual. I have two conferences lined up in Lucknow tomorrow. Do you want something from there?'

" Only you." She smiled, her voice full of sadness and longing. Her fading voice tugged the deepest corner of my heart, that part which wanted to hide in darkness and cry. I didn't want to see her like this. Sad but smiling. Just for me. I needed her. I needed her for more. My throat felt like it was closing. I was choking but on what I had no idea. My nose felt heavy, my eyes burnt with tears ready to spill, but I had to be strong. I had to. She needed me as much I needed her.

"You will Khushi. You will." I sat beside her. Her hands lay limb beside her. I put her right hand on my cheek. It felt good.

"You should shave." She complained caressing my whiskers.

"It's in style. You should get out more Khushi. People like you knows fashion more than I do." She smiled at that. That rare perfectly genuine smile which brightened my day by notches.

"Dinner?"

"I'll do later. First let me kiss you."

"Change first. You stink." She teased. Oh how much I loved these moments.

"Your mouth won't care." And I leaned down. She still tasted like the first time I had kissed her. How could life be so cruel? It was the only thing that mattered to me. Why was it punishing me? What had I done wrong? I wanted to weep. Her tears rolled down her cheeks instead.

"Do I stink that much?" I wiped her tears but she wasn't looking at me. That far away look that repeatedly came into her eyes was there again. She was sad. And I was the reason.

"Don't think about anything Khushi. I am here. I need you right here." I kissed at her palm and she looked at me.

" I love you Arnav. And I need you too. Here with me." Her tears spilled again and I didn't know what to do now.

"I love you Khushi. We'll find a donor. Dr. Anjali is the best. Just don't loose hope." Hope. I had no idea what that meant. Just this morning Doctor Anjali had told me that she couldn't find matching donor for Khushi. Hope was an evil thing to keep. I had hoped that bone marrow transplant would help Khushi but finding the donor so quickly was almost impossible. And with each passing day I was losing her more. I didn't care about how she looked. All I cared about was her smiles, light fading out of her eyes. I wanted her to live.

"Sleep Khushi. I am here." I whispered sweet nothings in her ear, soothing the lines on her forehead. She was too young. Oh God what did I do wrong?

When I woke up I was on bed with Khushi, in my suit. And my phone was ringing. I didn't try to read the name. I really didn't care who was on the other line.

"Hello?

"Mr. Raizada?"

"Yes?"

"I am calling from Doctor Anjali's offfice. We have a good news for you. We have found a donor for your wife. Please meet Doctor Anjali at 4 pm today. She'll tell you more about the match and the other processes."

"Yes. Thank you."

And then the line went dead.

"Who was it?" Khushi had woke up with the ringing of my phone. I had tried to speak as lower as possible.

"Arnav?"

I couldn't speak for a minute. Her huge eyes and buttoned nose were so adorable in the morning light. I kissed her nose. I was out of my depth. I had no idea how to tell her. But I knew I had to.

"She found the donor Khushi." And I felt her pull a long breath inside.

I had no idea that I was crying till she wiped my tears. Her own tears met the pillow. I didn't wipe them. For once I didn't want to. I didn't want to hope. Wiping her tears felt like zinx to me.

"I have an appointment with her today." I told her.

"Your conferences?" I hadn't noticed before but her voice had a bounce in it. She was happy. Really happy. And I promised silently, to keep her that way. I would get that procedure done on her. No matter what. I would beg if I had to. I would bring her smile back. That cheerful smile that always made my day.

"Postponed." I speed dialed and called my manager to free my schedule for today.

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8 months later

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. "Dinner?"

"I'll do it later. First let me kiss you."

"You stink." She looked so adorable teasing me. How had I denied to marry her first? She was exactly what I needed.

"I need you Khushi."

Her eyes turned Misty. Her hands gripped my neck and pulled me down.

"I need you too."




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