Arshi-FF Beautiful Pain

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Jul 7

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Wasted Journey" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 36 times)


                                                     "Wasted Journey"

“There was one of his lonelinesses coming, one of those times when he walked the streets or sat, aimless and depressed, biting a pencil at his desk. It was a self-absorption with no comfort, a demand for expression with no outlet, a sense of time rushing by, ceaselessly and wastefully - assuaged only by that conviction that there was nothing to waste, because all efforts and attainments were equally valueless.” 

                         ~ The Beautiful and Damned, F. Scott Fitzgerald  

“All I think of ever is that I love you.” 

                          ~ The Beautiful and Damned, F. Scott Fitzgerald  

A week later,

Arnav Singh Raizada stared at the notice handed to him by his newly discovered brother. He looked up at him examining his features. Zayn wore hard expression. He had not smiled at any of them after his encounter months ago in ASR’s farm house. Even stopped flirting with Lavanya much to NK’s ease.

Looking in Arnav’s eyes, he spoke clearly, “I’m resigning. Show is over!”

Arnav lowkey didn’t want him to leave. Zayn was simplest part of his life. He reminded him of all the good he could’ve been if life was less cruel. Or if he was less passionate. He brushed those thoughts away and bite the inside of his lip.

“Well...too bad.” Arnav shrugged, “We could’ve used you well!” Zayn didn’t say anything. He stared at his hands and then up at Arnav’s face who was now examining his resignation notice.

“I really wanted to have siblinga!” Arnav’s gaze froze at one point hearing Zayn’s confession, “I...well it doesn’t matter now. I don’t want siblings anymore.”

Arnav knew why. He was a criminal and a guy like Zayn would never associate himself with him. Even his father would have been disgusted by his presence..

“Have a good life, Zayn!” He stood up and shake his hand slipping a card in his palm, “I’m one call away if you need me!”

He left without looking back and Arnav stared at the door for minutes feeling a little empty inside. Don’t be silly, he told himself, he was just a guy..

“He is your brother!” he closed his eyes and sank into brown, leather chair, leaned back and breathe. He was his brother and he admittedly felt protective of him just how he felt for other important people in his life.

His phone rang yanking him out of his thoughts and he received the call from Ali.

“Ali-” He frowned hearing whimpering.

“Can we talk?” He asked hoarsely.

“I’m on my way!”

And sure he was, like a bullet. speeding his car towards Ali’s house hastily ignoring all the traffic signals and parked his in front of medium sized bungalow, all done in a jiffy!

He opened the door with the spare keys Ali gave him a while ago and walked in. The bungalow wasn’t big at all as it looked from outside. He glanced around the dimly lit living room and blinked at the sight of messed up house. Everything was on the floor, broken, fallen, spilled and shattered including glass, crockery, food and every liquid thing from the fridge. And in the corner sat Ali with his head hung so low, it made him seem as though dead...he neared him pushing past the shards of glass and broken furniture with his feet.

“Maryam has left!” he heard him sob as soon as he sat beside him on the floor.

“Why?” he asked frowning.

“I dunno...she doesn’t care!” he sounded so broken and scared.

“OK. So what’s up now?”

“I’m going after her!” Ali said with relatively composed voice.


“-we had a fight and she left. Its my fault. Its always my fault!” he bite his lip to stop himself from crying.

“No, look. Tell me what happened! Was it...does it has anything to do with me?” he asked knowing well the destest Maryam showed overtly for him.

“No…” he cleared his throat and looked at me with his red swollen eyes, “You read Scott’s The Beautiful and Damned?” Arnav nodded his head solemnly, “That’s us! Anthony and Gloria! “She was beautiful - but especially she was without mercy.”” he quoted from book and chuckled, “What's worse is that I can’t leave her. You know, I can’t breath without her!” Arnav said nothing.

After a moment Ali spoke again, “I wanna give my notice, for a while I wanna be alone with her. Maybe things will change!” Arnav nodded again.

They sat in silence. Arnav brought him water and he drank.

“You’re a cool ****, you know…” Ali said chuckling.



“Feel any better?”


“Well, cleaning may help!” Arnav said standing up.

They started cleaning the house together. None of them spoke. Ali felt a little better but not because of cleaning but for the fact that his wife left him hints of her location. He could always make things up with her. And Arnav’s presence made him feel at home.

“I just miss my mom,” he said as they sat on the sette after cleaning was done.

“Me too!” Arnav said sipping the cold beer.

“Why are women so complicated?” He asked.

“Tell me if you get the answer…”

“I love Maryam so much. And sometimes it feels like a curse!”

Arnav didn’t say anything but stared at the opaque beer bottle in his hands.

“Do you feel same about Khushi?”

“Yeah...” he said honestly and took a big gulp of the beer. :In this case, I'm a curse in her life.."

“She is an angel!” Ali said thoughtfully.

“I wish she wasn't. I feel dirty…”  


“-seriously how did we get here?” he frowned.

“We traveled.” Ali spoke in some kind of trance.

“It was a wasted journey, then.”


“I dunno...why a stupid person has to have f-cking power to f-ck our lives like they're nothing more than part of their games?”

“Are you talking about Khushi or your mom?” Ali asked earnestly.

“I wanna sleep…” Arnav said placing the beer on the low coffee table. “I’m taking that couch!” he said and rest of the day, they slept occupying each couch in the living room.

Whatever the destiny had planned, would have to wait until they woke up freshly anxious.


Next update on gooody response!

Jul 10

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Say Something" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 30 times)


                               “Say Something

"You're setting off/It's time to go, the engine's running/My mind is lost/We always knew this day was coming/And now it's more frightening than it's ever gonna be" (James Bay, Scars)

Three Months Later,

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cried, tears sticking on her crimson cheeks.

“Khushi I-”

“-Your mother killed my parents and You like a fool let me believe otherwise...I...I kept on blaming you...hating you and here…” she broke down, kneeling on the floor, she covered her face with her palms. Arnav knelt beside her and embraced her though she resisted at first but gave up soon. She was shaking in his arms like a dry leaf and Arnav clutched her even tight.

3 months ago, just after they made up that night, his mother decided to interject her well planned theory on how Arnav was the one who got her parents killed. She approached Khushi and everything changed. Khushi loathed him.

And today, mysteriously, she found out the truth. He sighed. Can he get a break from all the surprises?

“How did you-”

“-Maryam send me tapes of your mother’s confession.” she spoke as soon as she had composed herself, breaking away from him, “Now, tell me. Why, why didn’t you tell the truth?” she demanded with such fierceness that he couldn’t speak.

He stared at her stunned.  

“Why? Now why are you silent?”

“Because...I don’t have any answers.” Khushi frowned.

We grow apart,

I watch you on the red horizon

Your lion's heart

Will protect you under stormy skies

And I will always be listening for your laughter and your tears

He had answers. He knew how to communicate his answer word by word but who would want to tell his wife that his mother was a f-king cold blooded murderer? And how exactly could he look in her eyes again? It was okay if she hated him, he was used to the hate but he couldn’t bear hate in those eyes for his mother. When you extend you heart and love another person, you tend to have a deep desire to see your two beloveds at least like each other if not love. He had loved his mother who hated him. He loved khushi too, he could deal with her hate too as long as her eyes were still innocent of hate for his mother.

“Pathetic!” a voice in his head screamed, “You, son of a ****! Move the f-k on! Will ya?”

“How?” He had asked this question so many times before to the same voice but it always told him, “Just do it!” Like it was a murder he was supposed to commit or go and buy flowers for Khushi. It was about moving on. There has to be a process. Some process. Even killing has a process, you hold the knife firmly and swiftly drive it through carotid artery; the easiest way to kill. And it has a process too which if not followed correctly could cause a mess.

He was supposed to move on just like that.

But trouble was he didn’t know anything that worked by the concept of just-like-that.

“Zayn is your brother,” her voice cut through the thick silence and he looked up in her eyes, “Were you ever gonna tell me that?”

“No.” He confessed honestly. What was the point of lying, anyway?

“I never keep secrets from you! Why, then, you felt the need to keep secrets? Husbands and wives don’t keep secrets…” her tone at the end became soft. So soft, he could not bear looking at her so he turned his gaze away.

“I dunno. I’m like that…” that was the only answer he could give.

Khushi stared at his face for God knows how long as he sat their lost in his thoughts with his eyes fixed at some point on the Persian rug. She has stopped crying at this point. She didn’t wipe her sticky cheeks. It felt good, crying. It brought peace. Like someone has placed a soothing balm on her open wounds that were salted by the sea water of hate and anger.

Anger and hate were toxic, khushi knew that. They brought along drought that suck one’s tears away, parasites that fed on the soul and coldness that kissed away the happiness leaving you walking dead zombie. But you still smile and no one ever really knows there is a parasite in your chest, feeding off you. She had felt them all in last three months, the tears in her eyes dried away. She didn't cry. Her cheeks didn’t feel wetness of salty water.

But her heart had cried. It had bled for unrealized love, for wasted affection, for lovelessness. It shattered in so many pieces that khushi thought it would never be whole again but it was heart, it always heals. It could build defenses against every parasite. It just needed hope and proven-wrong.  

It healed the moment she heard those tapes because she was proven wrong, the strongest defense of hearts. But not without also changing. It changed. Something altered inside her when she listened to those tapes and now as she stared at the silent man kneel in front of her, his eyes fixed at some point on the Persian rug, she was sure the change was real.

She gazed and gazed with thoughts swarming, occupying her head like uninvited guests: careless and unempathetic.

“I don’t you khushi dear, I hate my son” Aliya’s voice rang through her ears as though she was sitting beside her whispering in her ears.

“But why-why? She had asked timidly.

“Because he is a murderer…” she had said smoothly and nonchalantly

“I know…”

“He killed my best friend...your mother-”

“No-” i shrieked but she continued, “Why do you think he never talks about your mother? Why do you think, I his own mother, hate him? He is a liar...he keeps secrets...he is a criminal….do you think I hate him for no reason?” in the end khushi thought her heart would explode with pain of betrayal and just then his mother had left.

She gazed and gazed and wondered, what has changed? Just in few hours, what has changed?

She gazed and gazed and realized, she has changed. She didn’t embrace him and assure him it was fine. Wasn’t that what she wanted to do in past three months, if by any chance the universe proved Arnav innocent? Why was she frozen on the spot? Why was not she telling him, its was okay and that they were going to be fine? Was that not what she craved to do hiding under the piles and piles of sheets praying to Devi Mayya to prove all the allegation against her husband wrong?

As she gazed and gazed, she felt repulsed by the man sitting in front of her. She could never again look at him with that genuine smile, hug him with enthusiasm of a child, kiss his cheeks shyly, play with the strings of his shirt or ask him to play for her.

It was all over. At least for her.

Did she love him? She didn’t know.

Was there anyway, she was gonna go back to normal? Definitely no. Or maybe yes but she wasn’t sure just yet.

She sat stoically as the words poured out of her mouth before she could even stop, “I’m pregnant!”

The trance between them broke and Arnav felt the universe laughing at him with hate in its eyes. Why? He asked, it just laughed. Its laugh cruel to his ears. He closed his eyes.

A child was the last thing, he ever wanted.

Your hands are cold,

Your lips are turning blue, you're shaking

This fragile heart,

So heavy in my chest, it's breaking


I need good feedback. 

(@Lazydoll: I hope this one is not boring and you liked it!)

Aug 3

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Paradoxes" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 35 times)




I’m Pregnant.

Her voice echoed in his head as he drove past first tall buildings then houses and then the fields of different kinds. He drove like a man in hurry as though the whole world was after him and he had to run. Run for his life.

In actuality, he was running from his past....his life. Because his past was his life. It was as if he had never really imagined a future or never really lived in the present. Like a man in the desert defeated by the sun as it spreads its inescapable heat around him making him deaf and blind to every thought but survival, escape...death. He was like that man: caged in the heat of past; worried only about escaping and surviving and anticipating with (every passing moment) death.  

How would a man who never stopped to enjoy a sunset, a silly joke or tiny affections and miracles the universe threw his way, stand still and enjoy love? Embrace the idea of submission when he never really know its meaning? Be gentle with his beloved when he never really loved himself?

“Pregnant!” Khushi screamed causing havoc in his mind, he felt an iron fist squeezing his chest leaving him breathless as though his respiratory system has stopped working.. Maybe it did. He halted the car and stumbled out on the cracked road, falling with a soft thud. 

“Breathe” he told himself and tried the breathing exercise he did so many times with his mother but failed.

Try! he told himself, You can’t die, not like this!

Arnav closed his eyes and memories overwhelmed him. His whole life played in front of him like a movie on fast-forward mode. His happiest memories with his family and her family; the ugly part where his father left them (more precisely him) all alone; the aftermaths of his father’s departure; his mother’s addiction; her hate for him growing as he grew up; him drifting away from his sister; him meeting Ali and others; emptiness that followed his heartlessness; and finally him meeting her: Khushi.. He felt a tear on his cheek and took a sharp breath.

Was he finally losing it all? The false facade of him having his sh-t together, was it really slipping away?

“Why is life always unfair to you?” Arnav stared at his reflection. Or maybe it was him, he didn't know that. Then as though sensing his confusion, he spoke, “I’m ASR! I live in your head! Best part of you!” ASR spoke haughtily, his eyes filled with vanity and mouth curled in a smirk, a calculated shrewd smirk.    

“Oh shut up!” another voice spoke, Arnav didn’t even try figuring out if it was real or not. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally like a man stranded on the open, relentless sea with nothing but a canoe, a bright yellow canoe that burn your eyes when you look at it too hard. “Get your proud ass off this planet! ****!” He turned to Arnav with  arms folded over his stomach. Arnav examined his face, he was opposite to everything ASR stood for. He seemed nice and naive.

“Oh wait! If you hadn’t interfered, he wouldnt have to face this situation. “I’m pregnant Arnav,” she says as though its the most amazing thing in this world! ****!”

Was Arnav hallucinating? He wasn't sure but he listened to them anyway leaning his back in the car. Still sitting on the barren road..

“Don’t call her that! And who knows it might be the most amazing thing!”

“Oh cut the ****!” ASR waved his arm in the air dismissively, “He is gonna destroy himself! That girl is nothing but trouble!”

“How do-”

“-He,” ASR turned to Arnav (actual one) and pointed his hand towards the Naive-Arnav, “prodded you to feel! Even after I buried him in the base-ment of your mind-”

“-I’m a part of him, you can’t bury me!” ASR ignored Naive-Arnav and went on speaking.

“He came out. You followed him like a mindless dog. Fell in f-cking love. Destroyed your balance! The f-cking balance I worked so hard to achieve. You let him destroy everything! And now because you conformed to his idea of going-home, having-s*x-and-making-everything-fine kind of ****, you’re f-cking deep in your own ****!” Arnav stayed mum, his mouth opened and closed. “And you can’t even cry because you’ve no tears left.”

“-No. Arnav look-”

“He made you marry her-”

“No you did! I would never have him force her into marriage!”

“Oh f-ck off! You put the f-cking idea of marriage in his brain!” Naive-Arnav opened his mouth to say something but ASR carried on, “She is weakness, Ali was wrong.”

“I love her…” Arnav voice was small, he seemed to have shrunk. ASR snorted and Naive-Arnav bit his lip to stop himself from sobbing.

“And the baby? You want it too, right?” Naive-Arnav asked with hope twinkling in his eyes.

“I-” Arnav started but couldn’t finish.

“A baby?” ASR laughed, a cruel laugh like the one you shove at your enemy when he is down, filled with mockery and derision. “You were a baby once too, remember?” Arnav closed his eyes trying to push bad memories away. “Khushi is just a child. Its bad enough you married her. Get over with it. Abort it.”

“No how can you say that?”

“So what happens if khushi doesn’t want the baby when it’s born?”

“She isn’t like-”

“Like that?? So wasn’t his mother! People change. They are programmed to change! Am I wrong?”

Arnav shook his head, “Khushi isn’t like mom.” His voice barely a whisper.

“See-” Naive-Arnav was cut off by ASR again, “So what if she dies? Everyday 830 women die from childbirth, what if Khushi joined these 830 women?” Arnav frowned, his heart sank it was in his throat or stomach he didn’t know but it definitely had moved. It had either shrank or swelled because he felt both emptiness and heaviness.

“She won’t-”

“-How do you know that? And what makes you think he’ll be a good father? What would stop him from becoming a xerox copy of his own cheater of a “dad” or his psychotic “mom”?”

“Love will-”

“Do what? Love will do what? Change him? Don’t be naive! He is destined to doom. And its unfortunate enough that you made him fall in love.”

Every word ASR said sank him deeper and deeper in the ocean of self-pity. He blinked at two versions of himself tiredly and sighed.     

“Who are you both?” He questioned helplessly unable to find strength to shut out their voices.

“We’re you!” Naive- Arnav spoke and ASR scowled, “I’m you NOT him!”

“Only because you never let me out!”

“Why are you bothering me now? Why not before?”

“To be honest, you’ve never been this pathetic and slumped into depression. You always find a way but today you’re just f-cking lost.” Arnav sat up straight staring at Naive-Arnav as ASR spoke.

“Its all your fault,” He said to Naive-Arnav who began crying like a baby, “You made me fall in love with her! You turned me into a pathetic b-stard. I hate you!” with each word, Naive-Arnav began fading away bit by bit until there was no more of him left to fade. ASR smirked and spoke authoritatively, “Kill the baby!” and Arnav nodded, a part of him numb to everything even his thoughts. He looked up and realized ASR was gone. Was he even here or it was all in his head? The sun was rising. It will be shining bright over their heads like a giant bulb in an hour or so and he has to go back home.

He climbed back in the car and looked out at the dawn for a minute feeling a wave of calmness descending over him. It was calm before the storm, he knew it. And he has to do it before storm hit his soul. A storm, Arnav knew deep down, he’ll never be able to escape. .

He grabbed the water bottle and took big gulps of water drenching his dry throat hastily. Throwing the bottle somewhere, he started the engine and fled in the direction of home, in her direction like an arrow freed from bow all ready to launch its sharp arrowhead ready to strike anyone on its way, friend or enemy didn’t matter much.

He went straight to his room, took a shower, changed into office attire and ordered HP to bring breakfast for khushi (he wasn’t hungry, he said). Khushi was still asleep.

He woke her up. Wordlessly, she slipped into bathroom. (meanwhile the food arrived and Arnav slipped some powder in her favourite orange juice). She came back wrapped in baby pink sari, fidgeting with her hands nervously.

She has slept all night while he was out there eating his own brain.

“Khushi…” he walked over to her, she was now trying to comb her hair nervously. He softly bagged the hairbrush from her slightly shivery hand, putting it back on the dressing table, he dragged her toward the bed where she had slept a few minutes ago and made her sit with her back supported by the headboard. He wanted her to be cozy and relaxed. It was allowed. It was, after all, quiet before the storm.

He then sat beside her with tray full of food and a glass of juice. She grabbed the glass and mouthed a feeble “thank you!” and brought the glass near her mouth.

In his head, many things happened in that one second. The storm barged in uninvited. It didn’t wait for thick quietness to go.

“Let the child die!”

“It’ll break khushi’s heart!”

“Finish it!”

“Khushi doesn’t deserve that,”

“Let it end!”

“Her innocent heart will never be whole again…”

“Let. it. Die!”

‘Husbands and wives don’t keep secrets…’” her soft words rang in his ears. In a flash he broke the past the storm.

“Stop!” Khushi stared at him bewildered.

“What- what ha-happened?”

“The juice is poisoned,” He confessed before he could even process the words in his head. When did his tongue became more efficient than his brain?   

“You’re kidding, right?” Her face was bemused.

“No. Husbands and wives don’t keep secrets…


“-”I did. Its to kill the baby.” Again when he looked up in her eyes, they were teary and there was something else, something he never imagined to see there. What was it? He wasn't sure. Was it hate? No. It was anger? Yes. but something else had creeped in too! Perhaps disgust? Or distrust or disappointment? It was all there, he realized as she pulled her legs close to her chest and hugged her knees silently crying.

Why was she silent?

“Khushi?” she didn’t say anything.

They sat in awful silence or maybe it was the space in which they both were suspended upside down because the silence hurt their ears and made their brain all fuzzy and blurry.

“Khushi?” this time he panicked. Did he finally lose her? Was the thread holding their relationship broken at last?

“Khushi?” he called her hoarsely but she didn’t look up instead she looked beyond him and spoke in a voice alien to him, “Go away.”


Please!” he blinked his tears away and left, baffled and bewildered beyond recovery.


next chapter on good response! 

Aug 4

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Pokerface" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 35 times)


When Arnav went to office that day, he didn’t look like a man who lost everything, whose heart (if there was one, he wondered) was broken to bits but rather most ruthless-poker-faced version of himself. He was closing in. he always did. It was his speciality.

NK noticed the change as his brother walked about in the office but did not point it out to Lavanya who was having coffee in his studio. NK was a photographer and Lavanya the model. She had specifically chosen this job over every other because it increased her value over normal woman by 10x or maybe more. Men desired models and she desired power. She was seductive  and it made her job easier. To be a model and a gangster, two distant dreams came true!

“What’s up?” She enquired noticing NK had stopped blabbering.

“No- nothing!” He said startled.

“Tell the truth!” she said sternly. NK would've yield if he hadn’t grown up with Arnav Singh Raizada but fortunately for him, he managed just fine.

“It’s the concept. I just have a new concept of this campaign!”

She frowned but let it slip.

“You wanna dine out?” She asked suddenly scratching the table with her sharp, long nails.

“Oh-are you asking me out?” He fumbled.

“Yeah.” she shrugged. “If that’s alright with you!”

“Yeah. of course.” he tried to contain his grin but it was as stupid as him. Mindless ****, he thought embarrassed.

After Lavanya left to refresh, he treaded towards Arnav’s office. NK knocked the door and waited for permission. When it didn’t came, he slipped in anyway. He was working and he was frowning which means he was angry. NK got a little scared. It wasn’t like Arnav had ever hurt him but he was intimidating. His anger was something else. It was hot lava and he hated seeing him angry.

“Bhai (then remembering the rule of office he corrected himself) Sir. I meant sir.”

“What do you want NK?” he didn’t look away from the screen.


“-Cut the **** NK!” this time his voice was sharp like one of NK’s favorite gillette fusion 5 blade.

“I just wanna know-” he hesitated, “You’re not yourself, you know. Like you’re not fine...I dunno I feel like you’re-”

“If you’re done, leave!”

“NO!” he bit his lip indignantly. NK never got angry. But today he felt green and red emotions altogether. “Yeah, I’m not why...why would you tell me anything!” He seethed. The creases cleared from Arnav’s forehead and amu****t replaced the anger in his tone.

“Are you je-”

“No!” He sat down on the chair across from Arnav and continued, “I am your brother and he isn’t but still…”

“I still what?” Arnav at that moment forgot every horrible thing and smiled just a little like single flutter of butterfly, bright and beautiful.

“You trust him more…”

“That’s not true, NK.”

“So why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with you?” NK questioned firmly.

Arnav didn’t argue anymore so he replied, “Khushi is pregnant.”


“Shut your mouth NK!”

“I’m sorry I’m just surprises… I’m stunned! Goodness! Bro you really banged her!” Arnav raised his eyebrow and NK recovered his senses and added quickly, “I mean you did awesome. She is totally worth it.” now he was just speaking nonsense. Arnav sighed.

Should he?

“NK…” NK looked at his brother, grinning ear to ear, “I want you to shadow Khushi, make sure she eats and sleep on time. Her appointments with her doctor and nutritionist aren’t wasted. And make sure she doesn’t cry…”

“And you? I mean are you going somewhere?”

“No. I’m here.”

“So why don’t you-?”

“No questions NK. Can you do this?” NK thought about it for a second and nodded.

“I trust you,” he said and Arnav wished he hadn’t because it just made him more miserable.

“Make her laugh, okay?” his voice was small and he couldn’t even believe he said that but it didn’t matter. His ego wasn’t more important than her laugh.

“I will.” NK said solemnly.

“Good. Dismissed.”  

As NK walked out of ASR’s office he wondered about what the heck was his brother hiding? For the rest of the day he pondered over the questions in his head. Was his brother happy about the baby? Was khushi happy? Were they fighting? Were they angry with each other? Knowing khushi’s gentle nature NK refused to believe that khushi could ever be angry but she was human and humans crack. Don’t they?  

When he went home that evening he was bursting with excitement and brimming with question but he kept it all to himself. He knocked on arshi’s door and was received by Khushi who wasn’t as fresh as she should be. She looked unwell and tired. He hugged her tight.

“OMG Khushi ji, you’re pregnant,” he grinned breaking the hug. They were standing just inside the door.


“-bhai told me.” he shrugged and glanced around the room. He opened his mouth and then closed it, stunned. “Are you going somewhere?” he dared asking but Khushi didn’t reply.

“Can you please send Arnav. I would like to have a word with my husband alone.” he wanted to argue, ask questions but khushi was like a full stop. Deadpanned. So he just left meekly nodding.

Khushi was sitting at the edge of their grand and overly luxurious bed when he came in. he looked as tired as her and a little unwell now that he was showing. Seriously this guy used some kind of magic to hide his reality because he was super convincing at it if he wanted to!

He looked around their big room and his eyes got fixed on a leather bag stuffed with things.

“I’m leaving,” he heard her soft voice. She was calm not angry or disgusted.

“No.” he replied instinctively.

“I didn’t ask for permission.”

“Good. because you’re not getting one!”

“I don’t trust you or this house or your family or these walls or these pictures or even the books.”


“If you ever loved me,” she said looking straight in chocolate brown eyes, “you won’t stop me.”

“You don’t believe I ever loved you?”

“No. convince me.”

“Khushi, its not safe-”

“Is it safe here? With you?” Arnav stood speechless for a minute. He throat went dry, he licked his lower lip.

“Fine. But there will be security, okay?” she nodded as though already tired of him.

He drove her to her parents in silence.

“Take care, okay?” he kissed her knuckles and let her go.

She left and he sat there in his car all night waiting and hoping for her to change her mind and come back. Come back because she missed him as much as he missed her. And say she couldn't bear to part with him. But she didn’t come even after the sun was hanging over his head glaring down at him and smiling. He assumed, sun always smiled.


Next update on good response. I need you guys to tell me if I should carry on!

Thank you for the feedback on previous updates <3 ILYSM <3

Aug 6

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "I'm Not The Only One" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 37 times)


                                               “I'm Not The Only One”






Arnav Singh Raizada stared at his phone contemplating the black and white options of calling Khushi, his wife, or not. He has been contemplating this for six days now. The day he drove back from her village, he was determined he’ll call her before going to bed. It was easier to imagine than doing in actuality. He had ended up staring at her name for a long time until sleep overpowered his senses for he had been up for more than 48 hours straight.

Next day he woke up with phone clutched in his big, rough palm and he had deliberately told himself, “I will call her tonight.” unfortunately “tonight” seemed not have arrived yet.

He was, at sixth night, staring at the same name.

“Just do it, okay?”

“Don’t be silly! You’ll only regret calling her!”

“Oh what if she is waiting?”

“Is that even possible at this point,” he muttered to himself.

“-Of course it is!”

“-Of course it’s not!” the two voices spoke simultaneously and he threw the mobile on the bed vexedly and stood up to leave only to realize that he has accidentally pressed “call” and stood rooted on the spot hearing familiar ring

The song of Devi Mayya. Khushi’s favourite. Was it possible? Frowning, Arnav strolled on to her side of bed and opened the drawer of the little side table that stood there and retrieved the cell he had brought her soon after their marriage. So she decided to leave her ****ing phone here, too? He clenched his jaw burning with anger and annoyance. He threw it back in and closed the drawer with a jerk of his knee.

This time, his ego was equally hurt.

He felt defeated. He slid open the glass doors that separated mini-garden from their room (he wondered if he could still call it that) and walked out. He stood for a second squinting a little adjusting to dim light before throwing himself clumsily on one of the garden chairs.

He stared at the unmoving water and the tiny lights that shone still from its four sides and the surface below transparent water like little holes in the a box providing sunshine in a steady order, unmoving.     

He averted his gaze from the water. Its stillness scared him. He hated stillness but somehow he never realized how still he has been since the day of his father’s departure. He had left the moving, energetic, shy teenager on the road leading to his father. After that afternoon, he never followed that road again. 

It was a sunny day, so hot and heaty that his foot (even through sandals) burnt from running..his skin was blazing and he was sure there were red spots everywhere on his body but it hadn’t matter. The only thing that seemed important (more than even his life) was stopping his father from leaving them all alone and invisible.

Invisible was the word used for b-stards and orphans. The-14-year-old Arnav didn’t want that tag around his neck, he wanted his father. He desired visibility. So he moved fiercely pushing foot after foot to reach him and when he failed, he gave up the hope of visibility altogether. It was like losing his virginity which was unrestorable.

He hated thinking about that day and the days that followed after.. But staring at still water reminded him of Khushi’s departure too and the horrible gravity of the situation. He was soon gonna turn into a man who sits on a chair and spends the night thinking about his beloved and losing himself in the deep and stormy pits of self-pity. His night were gonna be silent. Terribly and painfully silent with only his brain making unpleasant sounds and noises.

He was going to miss her like he never missed anyone before. The woman was so important to him and nearest to his heart. If only he could convince her to come back. If only he could just make her believe his love.

“Maybe you were never really in love. Maybe you were so miserable and alone that you convinced yourself of this whole silly-ass idea of love!” ASR sat on the chair opposite to Arnav’s smoothing out the nonexistent creases on his pants. He spoke coolly, “You need to chill!”

“How can you suggest something like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like he never fell in love!”

“It’s true!”

No! And don’t you dare listen to him, if what you say was true, he would have married anyone! Why Khushi? The daughter of Mira!” Naive-Arnav turned his attention to Arnav, his hair smooth and gel free unlike his counterpart ASR and Actual Arnav. “You loved her! You know that right?”

“Oh please, don’t start your drama here!”

“It’s not-”


Naive-Arnav sighed defeatedly and ASR shrugged knowingly, “He finally snapped. Its good. We’re gonna get some action.” he winked and disappeared followed by N-A (Short for Naive-Arnav).

He bugged out the keys and gazed at the bunch, conflicted. A part of him wanted to race back to Khushi and desperately beg her to come back while the other part of him was determined to respect her decision...just for once. She deserved that respect.


Did he ever really respect her in different ways husband is supposed to respect his wife? She left because he was an **** and she had had enough of him. Enough of his nonsense and misbehavior. Enough of his lies and secrecy. She was in fact better off without him. She had forgiven him so many times and ignored his white lies just to give him chance that she thought he deserved.

But what could he do? He still didn’t want the baby. He never would! And how was he supposed to say this to her face? It would break her heart. Yeah like poisoning her juice and then telling it to her face like you were reporting bad weather, didn’t break her heart! Dumbass!        

His phone range and he ignored it. But it won’t shut up so he went in the room to bang it against the wall.

In Gupta House, same night.

Khushi has settled down in the same room that was hers before marriage. It was untouched. Just like she had left it. Her sister was here with them on her holidays.

When khushi told her family, she was pregnant and won’t go back until the baby is born, Guptas were silent and stunned like they saw a snake. They were soon brimming with questions. Their surprise turned to concern. Especially Payal. She was so surprised and angry that her cheeks turned red.

“Okay if you had told me you are pans-xual, I would accept it but having you pregnant at 18 is unacceptable! You are ruining your life! You should be studying and partying and flirting with boys not worrying about stupid cravings and swellings!” she had lashed out when they were alone in their room.

“Jiji, its my baby…” her voice had quivered in a way that instantly replaced Payal’s anger with sympathy and sisterly love. She had hugged her for a long time until Khushi felt her legs won’t bear her weight, they had sat down and sat there on her bed talking all night..  

“Do you love him?” Payal had asked and Khushi had shook her head “He is my husband and I’m supposed to be by his side, am I not?”

“It’s twenty-first century girl! You’re not supposed to be by his side if he is an ****!”

“But Bua ji-”

“-Khushi Bua ji is sixty-two years old! At least half a century older than you! Times have changed. Look at me! If its her words that are stopping you, then don’t. I’m here. I’ll have him arrested!”

“No!” Khushi had shook her head, “I….I...he is my friend.”

“So am I!”

“And I would never want you to get hurt. No matter what.”

“Khushi!” she had side-hugged Khushi and continued, “You’re too good for this world!”

And now six days later as Khushi stood outside her Parent’s room where her Buaji was crying and talking, betrayal pricked her heart like thorns had pricked her fingers once years go when she had tried to pluck the rose carelessly. Payal clutched her hand..

“She knew it!” She choked at her tears feeling her stomach clenching and twisting. She gasped and tried to breathe. To fill her lungs with much needed air.

The door creaked open and khushi didn’t try to make for run so she won’t be caught eavesdropping. She stood rather paralyzed by the revelation as her Buaji pushed herself out, sniffing. She too stood stupefied with eyes as wide as saucers.


“Don’t!” she shook her head, “You too Bua ji, you too lied to me! You knew all along! You knew she killed my parents!”

“I can explain-” Khushi didn’t stop to hear anymore, ran to her room shaking her head vigorously. Payal followed her and found her packing away. Payal locked the door.

“Khushi what are you doing?” Payal held her wrists gently and turned her around to face her. “You’ve a baby in your womb!” she wiped her tears, her hands felt like silk against her skin. Khushi hugged her tight, crying.

“I just...I just wanna go away.” Payal broke the hug and holding her shoulder she made her sit.

She stooped over, her face inches away from hers, “Don’t cry!” she spoke kindly and kissed her forehead, “I’ll take you wherever you want to go!”


“On my life!” Payal smiled almost balmily. Her smile was beautiful. Her class fellows asserted confidently that her smile could bring colors, even if temporarily, in the blandest and miserable man’s life. She hoped that it did. And that her smile somehow cure her sister’s broken heart.

Khushi nodded her head, feeling a little secured and calm.

So, it wasn’t a lie after all, Payal thought and sat beside her.

“I wanna go out!” Khushi spoke after a minute.

“Now?” Payal asked unsure.

“Yes. I...I don’t feel so good…” Payal didn’t protest. She went ahead and pulled out their shawls, wrapping one over each of them.

“Let’s go!”

The streets were quiet as they walked. From the distance they could hear cats crying, dogs barking and crickets buzzing around trying to attract their significant others. Payal put her arm around Khushi’s shoulder sensing her fear of darkness.

They walked out of street into the narrow path surrounded by fields spreading as far as they could see in dark. It was a beautiful night with stars sparkling like tiny finely cut out diamonds in the navy blue sky, air was cool and steady, they could smell autumn in the air.

“It’s going to be so cold this year! See these ****s still won’t believe climate change is real!” Payal spoke trying to interject a conversation to end the creepy silence.

“Maybe, I really love him.” Payal took a minute to understand whom Khushi was talking about. She sighed.

“It’s okay!” she kissed her temple. “There must be some good in him after all!”

“There is. He just...he is different. Like I don’t exactly know how…” Payal stayed mum taking in her words considerately.

“Even after you know about his mother…” Payal trailed off a little uncomfortable..

“Yeah...and that’s the problem...even after knowing everything...I can’t shake him off my head….he is stuck there!” her voice came out shaky and she sniffed wiping her runny nose with the shawl her sister has wrapped around her.

“Khushi...I don’t know what to say…”

“Just hold me..” She pleaded and Payal tightened her grip around her shoulder. “You know…” she spoke after a moment of silence, “I just want him to be nice to me….trust me and you know like husbands do…”

“How did he treat you, khushi? Did he hurt you?”

“No. and yes. He was nice. So nice that I forgot how we got married and all the horrible stuff. I ought not have forgotten it, you would say. I was supposed to hate him. But I couldn’t, I can’t.” she was crying and talking and it made Payal more nervous. The Khushi she knew worried only about passing exams and making perfect Jalebies. This girl was someone else. Someone different. Mature or not, she didn’t know. “You know the problem is that I always feel so passionately. I don’t remember my parents and it makes me hungry for affection. And when he was nice to me, I just wanted him to stay the same...It is my fault…”

“No!  It’s not! Everyone deserves love, Khushi, including you! You should never feel guilty for trying to find love or feeling passionately. It’s what make us human!”

“I told him I didn’t trust he loved me,” Khushi swallowed, “He was so hurt…”

“He hurt you too, khushi…” Khushi nodded her head.

“I just...I wanted him to have taste of what he made me go through...I was fine...I was okay. You know that, right? I didn’t miss him much. I still don’t miss him...I still wanna stay away from him...It’s just that…”

“Bua ji broke you, Khushi. I know! I know you’re strong. Stronger than me! I’m sorry you had to go through this. I’m sorry your favourite person lied to you all your life...I just want you to be fine...with or without me. Just be fine! And Bua ji...she must’ve tried to protect you, you are her favorite person too.” Khushi turned her face away.

“I’m not mad. I’m just heart broken. The walls of my existence seem to crumble down…”


“No! All my life, I was with her. She built a reality for me. Acted like my parents and then boom! One truth and everything is on fire! My home is burning away. My heart is on fire! If only she had told me earlier, I would know better. I’d know better about my enemy...before she could destroy what was so beautiful!”

They walked in silence breathing heavily.

“Let’s head home,” Payal said softly and khushi nodded. They both headed back without noticing two footsteps creeping behind them.

“What is pans-xual?” Khushi asked and Payal laughed loudly without answering and khushi frowned confused but started giggling along. It felt so good to be back with Payal, her sister, her companion and her partner in crime.



Anyway guys I need you to comment! And thank you everyone for your comments on previous updates 

Aug 9

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Gone Girl I" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 18 times)

(Silhouette ~Tom Odell)


                                                                 “Gone Girl I”

I keep waking at night in the freezing cold

Staring at the shadows coming up the walls

Giving me a feeling I can't define

Is there anyone there I say to the dark

But all I get back is a beating heart

Going out of rhythm, and I realize

Oooh something's changed




Payal jerked open her eyes and sat bolt right up trying to look around but a wave of severe pain shot in her head blinding her literally. She laid back.

“Calm down. It’s okay. I’ve got you!” a smooth and delicate voice hit her ears, she forced herself to open her eyes and see. It was a girl with oval face, hazal-brown eyes and thin lips. She tried to smile but was visibly uncomfortable. Payal frowned ignoring the pain in her head and shoulders, sat up.

“Where am I?” she glanced around a visibly luxurious room, she recognized it. “Where is Khushi? We need to save her!” Payal panicked feeling her heart sinking as the scene played in her head. “It’s my fault!” she hated herself for sobbing in front of a complete stranger but she couldn’t help.

“Hey! We are gonna find her…”

“Wait...who are you? Who the hell brought me here?” she jumped out of bed and stood stupefied for a second letting pain in her head overpower her senses. She recovered and limped toward the door.

“You can’t leave! Its not safe!” Lavanya stepped forward to stop Payal who glared at her murderously.

“Okay, how about you mind your own business…?”

“You’re my business…” Payal rolled her eyes and glanced at the locked door impatiently.

“Do you or your petty friends know where Khushi is and who kidnapped her?” Payal demanded staring directly in lavanya’s eyes.

“It’s one of ASR’s nemesis…” Payal rolled her eyes.

“If you guys keep on doing your job this lousily, I’m sure as hell you all will be behind bars in no time!” Payal pushed lavanya’s shoulder slightly to make a point, “Let me go!”

“We are doing our jobs and nobody need your stupid-ass judgmental comments!”

“No you’re not doing your jobs! I’m going to police…”

“Then what?”

“I’m not gonna argue. I know you’re stalling me.”

“Look...we care about Khushi too-”

“You do!” she raised her eyebrow.

“She is like a little sister…”

“No. she is not! She is my sister. Just mine!” Payal tried to walk past lavanya but she held her arms tightly. Payal tried to wriggle out but she won’t budge.

“Who are you you?” Lavanya let go her arms and tried making her voice sound trustworthy.

“I’m a trained assassin and a friend of Arnav. And I don’t lie. Trust me. I need you to think and tell me exactly what happened so we can find her…” she never told this to anyone but she was a trained manipulator too.

“Where is Arnav?”

“Out there finding her...but he can’t find her like know right?”

“I remember…” Payal said retiring.

“Try describing exactly what happened, okay?” Payal nodded and then she walked back to the bed and thoughtfully began narrating the event as precisely as she could.

“Khushi had a little break down and she wanted to go out on a walk. I took her out. She is afraid of I kept my arm around her shoulders….we walked for a mile and were returning back….we were laughing...she was asking me what the pans-xual mean and I started laughing and she joined me....when we were halfway home...something horrible happened...i think someone got killed...Khushi got scared so I held her tight...we started running...holding each other’s hands...someone tried to pull her away from me...I clutched her arm with both hands and something hit my head…”

“That’s all?”

“No…” Payal shook her head, “I heard a voice...someone called her name...a peculiar nickname…”Khush””

“Who called her that?”

“I’ve got to go and see my family…”

“You didn’t answer my question…”

“Look! You need to trust me!” Lavanya stared at her pretty face and nodded her head.

“Okay.” she said dragging a chair to sit in front of her.

“What do we do?”

“We confirm my doubts…” Payal breathe heavily as though talking has tired her. It did. It made her feel like the most horrible sister in the world. Just like how she had felt when Arnav had taken her away.

“Let me call Arnav…”

“Don’t!” Payal said abruptly and payal raised her eyebrow quizzically.

“They’re men...mean zero emotional intelligence to begin with...they’re gonna blow up our cover with their impatience especially Arnav…”

“You don’t know them...they are not that bad...”

“I grew up with his arrogant ass, for starters.”


“We go now!”

“First some esparine.” Payal took the pills gratefully.


“SH-t! Sh-t! Sh-t!” Arnav kicked the car only to hurt himself in return. They’ve been looking for her everywhere from north to south; in the village and outside of it. Everyone was looking for her but nobody got a clue yet.

“What’s the progress?” Shyam whispered near Akash who has just arrived from Delhi assuring his wife that everything was fine, they were just snooping around for business.

“She isn’t anywhere in the village…Or anywhere else.” Akash spoke apologetically.

“Nobody really knows you’re married, bro.” NK said doubtfully, “I think we are looking for her in the wrong direction.”

“Where do you suggest we look?” Arnav snapped unable to contain his anger. His eyes were bloody and he looked like a man on the brink of mental breakdown.

“Okay...Khushi was a person...a emotional and intelligent entity-”

“Get to the point NK!”

“Okay...Okay...I think someone who knew Khushi from the past did it.”

“We go with the current plan!” Arnav dismissed NK and others nodded their heads in agreement.

“Guys! She was a person if not bad enough to have enemies, surely pretty enough to have lovers!”

“What are you trying to say?”

“She was kidnapped on the name of love…” NK spoke as calmly as he could under the sea of intense gazes. Shyam raised his eyebrow, Akash looked thoughtful, Ankit was blank and frowning. Arnav seemed to be thinking hard. Ali wasn’t there and Arnav wished he was.

“Impossible!” He shook his head frowning.

“Why, you kidnapped her too…”

“It was different!”

“How different?” Arnav was speechless, “You thought you were entitled to marry her. Anyone can have that misunderstanding…”

“Okay so if its true, how do we know who he is?” Akash spoke earnestly.

“We ask her sister…” Arnav said and they all got into car to get to haveli as fast as they could.


They stood out of a small concrete house. “Stand aside, we don’t have time for introductions!” Payal said knocking the door anxiously. Lavanya hid herself from the sight.

“Hey Payal bitiya!” an old woman wearing stark white sari and smiling brightly met her on the door.

“Is Ajay home? He had my book. I really need it back…” the woman’s smile faltered and she frowned a little.

“Payal bitiya, I’m sorry, he doesn’t live with us anymore…”


“Your sister…”

“What about her?” she faked surprise.

“He loved her and her sudden disappearance and the rumors of her marriage broke his heart.”

“Where is he now?” Payal tried to sound normal

“Don’t know...just left a message...I don’t even know how t read.” she sobbed.

“Show me the note!” Payal walked in and held the woman by shoulder. “I’ll red it for you!” the woman nodded miserable. They both took baby steps and reached a small room, payal waited outside while the woman went in and produced a smallest farewell note Payal had ever seen.

“This place is nothing without her. I am nothing without her.” the note said and the old woman let out wail.

“When did he leave?”

“Its been 2 months and 20 days!”

“We’ll find him, don’t worry, okay?” the old woman sighed wiping her face with the pallu of her sari.

“I just want him to be fine. With or without me!” Payal felt tears brimming in her eyes as she remembered her sister. Didn’t she say the same exact thing just a few hours ago?

Payal walked out of the house and sat in the car hurriedly so no one on street could notice her. Everyone was talking about last night. A man was murdered and other was injured. Both were apparently Arnav’s men. Different conspiracy theories were being discussed by everyone with a mouth.

“Ajay have her.” Payal deadpanned and Lavanya nodded impressed fleeing toward haveli.

When they reached haveli Arnav was pacing the length of huge living room, NK and others were sitting staring at him helplessly feeling dejected and annoyed.  

“Where were you both?” he blasted the moment they came in view.

“Doing what you dumbasses won’t.” Payal answered with the same temper. She hated him. But she could never say this to his face. Her sister loved him. Out of respect for her, she could bear him but that doesn’t include her being sweet, “We know who kidnapped her…” everyone stood up gesturing Lavanya to share with them. She left Payal and watched her speak with others quietly.


“Ajay. you remember him, right?” she asked challenging him to contradict her. “It’s your fault. You threw her value out of window because you’re a selfish ****. You always have been just like your ****ing mother! If anything happens to my sister, I’m gonna destroy you!”

“Payal...its not the time…” Arnav wanted to hug Payal, she was Khushi’s sister and right now everything and everyone related to her was precious. He wanted to protect them as badly as he wanted to rescue Khushi.  

“Yet. its not the time yet!” Payal glanced at other silent figures, “Do you have a landline?”

“Yeah…” NK volunteered to escort her toward the landline.

"What are you uptp?" Arnav asked unsure.

"I know how to reach Ajey."


Khushi woke up with a terrible headache. She laid still for a minute trying to contain the pain but it won’t go away so she forced herself to look around. She wasn’t in Raizada Mansion. She wasn’t in her small rectangular room which she shared with her sister. She was lying on an alien bed in an alien house with her wrists tied to each other.

And then it occurred to her with a force of Thor’s mighty hammer: she was kidnapped. She tried to feel something. She began touching her face with free fingers but she felt nothing. It was as though she was in shock, struck by lightning bolt. Her ears were bursting with alien sounds like someone whispering in foreign language. Her head would not stop aching like there was volcano brimming, burning her nerves. Her eyes were dry like yellowed leaves in autumn. She felt suffocated. She tried to shriek but her voice won’t come out. Her lips opened but she felt her voice was gone. She tried again but it won’t leave its hiding place. 

Her eyes won’t cry. Her mouth won’t speak. Her head won’t stop beating itself. And in that moment, she wanted to die.

“Khushi...its me...don’t give up...okay?” Payal...Khushi thought she was here beside her so she turned her head to the left and right but the bed was empty, so was her heart.

“Please save me!” she wanted to scream that but her voice won’t support her. So she laid back feeling the emptiness of space in her chest and heaviness of earth over her shoulders.

Was she dead? Was this hell? Was devi mayya testing her?

But she refused to believe she was dead. She was breathing and thinking. But didn’t Ali say you breathe and think even in heaven/hell?

She wanted to hold her sister’s hand and tell her how much of an inspiration she has been to her. She wanted to tell bua ji to not worry, she’ll eventually forgive her and that she could never be angry with her and that she was a fool. Fool in love. And she wanted to look in Arnav’s eyes and say he was somehow the best part of her life.

But could you convey messages even when you’re dead?

She wanted to feel. And she wasn’t feeling. She was trapped in blank white room in the back of her head where everything including herself felt dead and gone.

I wanna throw my arms around you

Tell everyone I've found you

But you're just a shadow in my mind

You know you got me so enchanted

A man 5’8 foot tall with brown skin and greenish brown eyes walked in and sat beside her placing a tray containing food on the small side table. He towered over khushi’s upper body and kissed her forehead. Something inside her snapped. The gravity of the situation finally taking its toll.

“Khush...I saved you…” he spoke softly as he untied her hands and began caressing her wrists gently. She wouldn’t speak. She didn’t know how to.

“Yes it’s me!” he stroked her cheek and murmured, “I’ve fulfilled my promise.”

Ajey. her childhood friend. The guy she used to play ‘shadi-shadi’ with. The same guy who taught her cycling, flying a kite and sowing sunflower seeds. But…but...they were just friends. Like brother and sister. What was different now? Why was his stare similar to Arnav’s?

“I’m afraid to go out in dark,” a 10 year old Khushi whispered terrified.

“Don’t worry I’ll destroy every monster who tries to hurt you!” was 13 year old Ajey’s reply. And when they said she was forced into wedding, he decided to save her. This was a life-death matter to him. He had never seen life beyond her.

And now his life was here. He has saved her from the monster. 

He has fulfilled his promise.

You're just a silhouette, a flick in the blinds

Just a mind trick

I open my eyes and it reminds me I should have never let you go


Insane, I know LOL I just came up with this idea especially inspired from all the Turkish serials I watch :P Guys don't kill me. Khushi won't be harmed. This was important for her character development. 

Anyways who will save khushi?

Voting: (Total Votes: 50)

Arnav! He is the hero! FGS
Payal, she is the sister!
Its 21'st century, the princess can save herself!
I dunno...maybe a third party???
Sep 2

HI EVERYONE!!!! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 7 times)

yes I'm back :P And stropped to post the note that y'all get ready, I'm going to post next chapter soon :)

Sep 2

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Come Running Home To You" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 30 times)


                                               "Come Running Home To You"

“Run!” she told herself bumping in several things blocking her way. She has to run or she will never be able to see Arnav again. Her hair falling all over her face as she ran pushing foot after foot to increase her pace. The ground beneath her shifted from marble floor to cracked road to soft earth that embraced her feet gently. Even though she knew he won’t follow or he can’t follow, she was sure as hell that his ghost was following her. Or else why would she feel fear? Or anxiety? She raced away from his ghost. Ghost of the man she most probably killed.

an Hour ago,

“Khushi...I saved you…” His words brought her back to earth. This wasn’t heaven or hell, it was her new problem. A new lover. Her mind started freaking out. This is not good. She was stuck with her supposedly best friend who suddenly wanted to be her new husband. She was going to lose it all. Arnav. The baby.  Her lips dried.

She inhaled deeply trying to keep anxiety at bay. “You’re Pregnant!” she told herself, “The baby will not survive if you lose yourself to fear!”

“You’ve to stay strong!”

She let her rational self take charge.

“Yes it’s me!” he stroked her cheek and murmured, “I’ve fulfilled my promise.” she stared at him as he spoke soothingly. He began feeding her. She ate. She was hungry. And she needed energy if the baby was to survive.  

“Why?” She asked when minutes later she found her voice..  

“What do you mean “why”? Aren’t you happy I saved you?”

“Save me?” Khushi raised her eyebrows a little startled.

“Yes. save you from that monster!”

“Did I ask for saving?” Her voice was stern, devoid of any emotions.

“I...I…” he stammered lost for words. Had he misunderstood everything? Wasn’t she kidnapped by that mafia guy?

“I need to go home, Bua ji is worried…”

“No...Khushi he’ll hurt you again....”


“Come on! Don’t be so naive! Of course that Malik guy!”

“Oh...Him….I forgot about him…” She was acting and if this was happening under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have shut up about her marvelous acting skills. But unfortunately, she was scared both of her captive and of losing her courage. If she loses her courage, she never escapes and if she never escapes, the baby dies. No Arnav, no baby. And that was enough to set her heart on fire.

“You forgot?” he asked confused..

Khushi pouted (it was how she used to get him to do anything for her as a kid) and continued, “I left him.”

“Khushi...are you lying?” His expression turned serious. Khushi gulped.

“No...I’m too old fashioned for him…” That was partly true. Khushi was old fashioned for Arnav’s taste and she was afraid that someday he will leave for someone better and bolder. But she didn’t care for now. He was hers now. It didn’t matter what the future hold.

“Pity…” he caressed her hand, “He is losing a gem…”

“Why? Why do you care if he leaves me or not?” Khushi asked faking a little surprise not overdoing it so he won’t notice.

“Of course...I do!” he swallowed and continued staring at her fingers resting on his big palm, “I love you!”

“I love you too, Ajay! We’re friends!”

“No…not like that...” he shook his head, “I love you like a man loves woman he desires...You rule my heart!”

“I…” she was truly wordless. He was her friend, could she break his heart? But she didn’t love him either. She loved Arnav. Even if their lives were bumpy, he was her man!


“-I need to drink water…” she said urgently thinking hard.…run away from everyone who is trying to separate you from your baby and her father…

"here-" he offered the half filled glass from the food tray.

"Cool water...please" 

“I’ll bring it here…” he was stopped by Khushi’s hand over his shoulder, “Yes?”

“Can you help me walk a little.” She bit her lip to formulate a pained expression.

“O-okay.” holding her in his bosom, he helped her stand and walk. They exit the small bland room and entered a small living room with smallest kitchen khushi had ever seen in one corner and equally small bathroom in the other. There was a small table with three chairs in the center, a tiny, battered fridge, a medium sized, faded orange water cooler stood on a small table, and a table fan the size of Khushi’s leg stood in the far end, deserted. There was a door right in the middle of the front wall facing kitchen and it was locked. Not for long, Khushi thought.

He walked her toward cooler, Khushi broke away from him and stood still with her back against the wall.

“This place is cool...I like it…” she said her eyes scanning the area looking for something to help her escape.

“I knew you like small houses…” he beamed proudly handing her glass filled with cool water. She drank silently and he watched her drink in a trance.

“You’re so beautiful…” He blurted out and blushed a second later...Khushi stared at his now pinkish ears lost in her thoughts. He was the kind of man she had wanted as a husband. Didn’t she? Shy and introverted and sensitive. Shouldn’t she stay? Be with her ideal man? But was Ajay worthy? 

Arnav wasn’t worthy either, was he?...he kidnapped her...forced her in a marriage...treated her badly...and his mother hates her. Sooner or later, he will leave her for someone prettier like Lavanya...she bit her lip nervously.

But then she remembered how he had embraced her that he had played piano for her...his kisses...deep and passionate...his eyes...mysterious and beautiful...his sweet and soft...his strong and protective...his thick and soft...he loved her...he proved it so many times...the time when he took a bullet for her...the time when he let her go…

Suddenly guilt overwhelmed her..

“Khushi..are you okay?”

“Yes...Can I make jalebies?” she asked innocently.. He wanted to say no but seeing her hopeful eyes, he sighed and escorded her toward kitchen.  

She began making dough under watchful Ajay.

“You’ve to do it, now!” a voice whispered as her gaze landed on a knife. Sharp kitchen knife.

“But...he is a friend…”  


“You don’t hurt a friend!”

“Oh he kidnapped you! Who knows if Payal lived through that night or died!”

“No...she...she couldn’t have died...she was...was with me…”

“Okay...the baby…”

Khushi’s gaze didn’t leave the bowl filled with flour and other ingredients.

“Do you have lemons in the fridge?” she asked breaking his stupefied position.

“Yes..I’ll bring some…” as he left, khushi slipped the knife up in her sleeve.

“Place them here…” she pointed near the bowl and he stood beside her smiling like an idiot. 

He was an idiot. Lost in his fantasy world. When she left he was broken, sad and miserable. He couldn’t deal with the idea of losing Khushi. The idea was painful enough let alone the reality of it all. And when he couldn’t find her for months, he decided to kidnap her. It wasn’t ethical but he was beyond ethics now. Love or more precisely obsession had blinded him. Everything was fair in his definition of love. So he spent rest of his days planning. He planned every scenario in his head so when she came to visit her family, he knew what to do. He was ready.

But he wasn’t ready when a sharp knife pierced his stomach. He wasn’t ready when she stabbed him and ran away. He was shocked and stupefied and now dying. The blood wouldn’t stop just like Khushi. It was relentless. 

And phone was ringing. He wanted to pick up. He did pick up but his mouth made no sound.


“Ajay! Ajay!”

Payal looked at curious and anxious faces and announced, “He is not talking…”

“We’ll track the number…” Akash said and everyone felt a wave of hope and optimism wash over them.



Khushi stopped to breath as she stood on the edge of an unknown road leading to unknown places.

She didn’t have the time or energy to ponder over what she did but it will come back. Harder..

But for now, she stopped a truck and hopped in. the elderly driver stared at her empathetically.


“Yes, thank you!”

“Where do you wanna go?”

“Home…” she looked at the old, bearded man and asked, “Where are we?”

“Chandigarh. What are you doing here all alone? Where is your home?”

“Delhi...I fought with my sister and ran away...someone tried know...hurt me and I escaped. My sister is worried…” Arnav is worried. “Can you drop me off on the train station? Or near somewhere?”

“Okay!” the old man obliged.

She was going home. To Arnav. She thought of him gazing out of the truck window and sighed. It was gonna be fine...or at least that's how she felt at the moment.


Next update on good response. 

Sep 4

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 32 times)


“We’re here!” the old man announced and Khushi jolted out of sleep.

“Sorry. I slept.” she apologized. “Thank you!” the old man sighed as she opened the door to get out.

“Listen,” she stopped and turned to hear what he had to say, “Make up with your family, okay? It’s so hard to find one in the first place!” Khushi felt her eyes pricking with tears, she blinked and smiled.

“I will! Thank you again!” with that she got out and the truck drove away towards an unknown destination.

She walked inside Train station and stood there in a quiet corner watching people come and go, laugh and cry, eat and beg, fight and embrace. It was chaotic and peaceful at the same time. Khushi had never been to a train station before. They traveled nowhere except their school/college.

She walked slowly, cautiously toward an empty bench and sat there gazing around, hoping to see a familiar face in those anonymous faces.

There was a tea stall and a tiny dhabba. She wanted tea but had no money. She then realized that she was broke. How was she supposed to buy a train ticket without money? She sighed dejectedly. Suddenly she felt tired as adrenaline of previous incident wore off. She was alone, tired and broke in a completely unknown city.. She threw her face into her hands and sobbed feeling lonelier than she ever felt before.

Someone sat beside her but she didn’t look up to see who she/he was until that person touched her shoulder, she flinched away frowning only to stare in wonder and surprise at the person staring back at her.

Finally a familiar face among anonymous crowd.


“You remember me? Oh I’m sorry for touching you! You seem to have mind. I was offering you handkerchief but you weren’t noticing so-” he was cut off when she hugged him tightly knocking his breath. “Hey!” he hugged her back. For a long minute, khushi cried in his embrace and he awkwardly sat stiff patting her back and hair.

“It’s okay! Hey! Hey! You’re gonna be fine!” he tried to make her stop sobbing with words but she was crying non stop.

She broke away and started wiping her face with the back of her hand.

“Here” he handed her a tissue.

“Thanks…” she said in a muffled voice. “I got so lonely!” she sobbed again. He put his arm around her shoulder.

“We all get lonely sometimes! Its okay…” she wiped her face with the tissue and sighed.

“You were supposed to be in London...Arnav said you left…”

“Yeahhh he says a lot of things…” he shrugged. “I had some unfinished business here...”

“You’re leaving now?”

“Not yet! You want some tea? Water? Food?”

”Just tea and water.”

“Okay. lets go and buy!”

“i..I don’t have money…”

“My money is your money…” Khushi bit her lip unsure.

“Did you send those tapes?”

“Which tapes?” He frowned confused.

“The ones with Aliya’s confession…” she whispered

“No. why would I?...Mayam. She must have sent those.”

“Oh. Why did you not tell me you were Arnav’s brother?”

“I thought ASR will tell you that himself…” khushi sighed gloomily.

“You’re family Zayn.” she held his hand and looked in his eyes, he blinked “You money is my money. Now, I think the baby is hungry…”

“NO!” he laughed, “You’re PREGNANT?” He laughed and hugged her. “Who else knows?”\

“My family and Arnav.”

“That’s cute!” he stood up and held Khushi’s helping her walk.

“I can walk myself!”

“Oh please! You’re pregnant princess!”

“Princess! Come here!” laughter rang in her ears. She stood rooted on the spot.



“Khushi!” Khushi snapped out of the trance and gazed at Zayn’s concerned face.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really. But first, I am hungry.”

“Okay.” they walked toward that tiny dhabba and ordered samosas and chai. Zayn paid and they walked back to the same bench.

“ to tell me why so lonely?” he asked they ate.

“I…” Khushi kept the samosa in the paper plate and looked at him eating, “I was kidnapped!” she whispered and bite her lip. He stopped eating and stared at her for a second.


“I killed him...I killed my best friend…” for a long minute, Zayn and khushi sat in silence occasionally biting the samosas and sipping chai.

“What happened?”

“He...He kidnapped me…”

“Son of a b itch!” she gave him a steely glare. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling bad for him!”

“He was my friend!”

“Friends don’t do sh-t like that! Hell even enemies think before doing something so bad!” Khushi bite inside of her cheek trying to hold her sobs back. “Khushi you don’t owe anyone anything! They try to hurt you, you defend yourself! You always defend yourself no matter how sh-tty way you choose!”

“It’s not just that…”

“What is it then?”

“It wasn’t...impulsive. I was myself...when I woke up first I thought I was kidnapped then...I felt I was dead and the he showed up...telling me things that I never expected from him and then…” she looked in his eyes, “And then I...I became strangely calm....I planned to lure and murder him! Or at least injure him enough to not follow me…That person who planned and executed that thing wasn’t me! It was someone I never knew existed! She was ruthless and selfish! Can you believe I washed my hands before leaving?” Zayn raised his eyebrows and he reminded her of Arnav and suddenly she missed him even more.

“Are you missing Arnav?” Khushi blushed a little and he got answer but she said, “Yes.” nonetheless.  

“I’ve to pee! I’ll be right back!” he left and when he was far away from her, he dialed his brother or his ex-brother.

Arnav: It’s not the perfect time to call.

Zayn: Khushi is with me!

Arnav: Where are you?

Zayn: did you find her kidnapper?

Arnav: yeah..Where are you?

Zayn: Save his ass or Khushi will never be able to forgive herself!

Arnav: Where the f-ck are you?

Zayn: I won’t tell unless you promise!

Arnav: F-ck you Zayn! Just tell me Dammit!

Zayn: give me your promise…

Arnav: her sister is on the f-cking mission to save him! Now tell me where you’re!

Zayn: Railway station. And don’t tell her I called.  

He heard him sigh and cut the call.


I know y'all probably hate me for keeping Arnav away but it's for his own good! next update is ALL about Arshi!

ALSO Next update maybe a little mature ya know reunion ****!

Sep 24

hi everyone!!!!! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 9 times)

I knowww its beeen daysss since I last posted anything :/ please I'm sorry. I just got distracted :/// I'll post ASAP :*

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Elitists last part is up!