Arshi-FF Beautiful Pain

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Dec 19, 2017

Beautiful Pain next part is up. (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 33 times)


                                           "I love you!"

5 days later…

“You never told me you were taken!” Lavanya said angrily, her eyes filling up but she refused to cry.

“You never asked me…” Ali spoke calmly.

Lavanya ran her hands in her hairs, looking everywhere but him. 

“I never knew you were you were in love with me…” he furrowed his brows.

“I’m sorry about your mother…brave woman she was…yeah…I wish I could have met her before she died.” Lavanya said changing the topic. She was a sore loser. You must be one when you’ve lost as much as she did. She killed people, right, but she was a human with an expecting heart which was wrecked and scrambled now. But she wouldn’t let anyone witness the state of her f**ked up emotional self. It was exclusively for herself.

“Yeah…we all have to die someday.” He smiled sadly.   

“Yes, right. See you around then!” she said and turned away from him and taking long strides, she exited the mansion with only soul wrecking thought: the guy she loved so much was married to his childhood sweetheart.


Arshi were spending their time back in village where everyone was busy: his mother taking care of accounts of the lands; his sister (Anjali) and brother in law fighting and making love; his Dadi worrying about her goat’s unusual behavior; house servants working a bit more enthusiastically for their new mistress was fun to be around and not to forget her stories about her naughty childhood. 

ASR working all the time. Here is what he worked: turning his black money into white without anyone ever finding out about it. He has two lives; one for everyone and other for enemies. First ASR worries about market stock and his fashion chains while the other, hidden very well from everyone else, kills enemies without mercy. 

Right now, he was second one while his men took charge of first ASR’s duties. 

Ali, Akash, NK and Amit were back to Delhi and Lavanya was nowhere to be found after her encounter with Ali. 


“Ali…yeah, I have checked those designs for our couture, ask that damn designer to get the f*ck out of AR, the designs are ****!”

“I thought they were perfect!”

“Ali do what you’re told…”

“Our main model is nowhere to found…”

“Give her some space, will you?”

 “Okay.” Ali rolled his eyes. “We have hired three designers exclusively for this show and this fourth one is being fired by you…ASR are you there?” but Arnav had cut the call before he said ‘okay.’  

“F**k you!” he told his phone indignantly.


Arnav had spent little time with his family including Khushi who didn’t notice his absence because of her busy schedule with servants of house. She enjoyed every bit of her time with them. They were people from around the village, her people. 

Arnav entered kitchen to see Khushi sitting on the chair and giggling at what the cook was saying. 

“Darling…” everyone went silent as if dead.

“Oh...good morning!” she cheered and it made him feel better after his tiring work.

“Let’s go out-” but he was cut off by his sister.

“Can we talk, please.” Arnav rolled his eyes. He was tired and he wanted Khushi and no one else [specifically his sister] to bother him. 

“Nope…” he caught khushi’s eye and added quickly, “Later.” 

Anjali didn’t prod him further. 


Walking the long corridor with their hands intertwined and their arms pressing against the other, “You should see Anjali di, maybe she wants to-” Khushi was cut off by his lips upon hers. Caught off guard, she held his shoulder for support and opened her mouth without resisting, giving him pass to explore her mouth. His tongue against hers. She felt butterflies in her stomach and she thought her heart was growing double to its actual size.

He kissed her until she was breathless and he didn’t stop there as soon as she caught her breaths, he was again kissing her. He did that for minutes and once he was done, their lips were swollen and pinkish red. He cupped her face and their breathing uneven. 

“I’ve missed you so f**king much!” 

“Did you?”

“You have a doubt?” he asked and she shook her head slowly. How can she have a doubt after his passionate and loving kisses. 

He caressed her lower lip and chuckled softly.

“Wh-at?” Khushi asked nervously.

I love you!” Khushi gasped. Did he just…confess? She froze as he kissed her cheek. “Yes, I love you.” Khushi blinked and laughed softly. 

“Why do you lo-ve me?” 

“I don’t know…not really.” A tiny smile appeared on her face and he captured that in a soft kiss.

They started walking in the direction of main entrance. Khushi was excited and happy and flabbergasted. She couldn’t wait to see her bua ji! He stopped on the threshold of the main entrance of haveli and Khushi looked at him confused. She furrowed her brows.

“Wanna see your bua ji? I know you’re dying to tell her…” he shook his head, smile not leaving his face. 

“Stop reading my mind, I feel insecure…” she spoke with an air of a queen making him amused. He saw in her face, her mother’s reflection. He opened his mouth to argue but gave.

“Fine, I won’t!” 

“Good for you!” she said and walked away from him and he, after a moment, ran after her in surprise and pleasant manner.    


A relatively shorter update but i just could add more to this chapter. Some of you are confused but don't worry 5 more chapters and your confusion will vanish in thin air.  

I'm reading Harry Potter series and loving Fred and George! And I've a crush on harry's father James. he's bad, ARROGANT BOY and I'm gonna write a fiction in which ASR will be just like james potter and khushi like Lily (Harry's mum). Any tip on the title? should I name it aashiqui? or "The Greatest love story Harvard has ever witness"?  huh?

Jan 10, 2018

Beautiful Pain next part is up. (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 29 times)

Chapter 19


In village,

“I'm leaving for Delhi in an hour, Anjali and Shyam are coming along.” Alia announced at the breakfast next morning. “I still think you should join us.” she turned to her mother in law and spoke gently.

“This is where I'm gonna die!”

“I've told you a million times not to talk about death!” Alia said angrily.

“Why are you so bothered if she dies? She is the mother of the man you despise.” Arnav gritted his teeth. His mother glared at him.

“Good morning!” Khushi chirped kissing dadi’s cheek.

“what's wrong?” she asked Shyam sitting on the chair beside Arnav, “Why are you so silent?”

“You can't jump into tornado. I love my life!” khushi furrowed her brows confused at his response began eating.

“We are going back to Delhi. Pack your stuff!” Alia ordered khushi who choked at her food. Khushi looked at her and bite her lip.

“No I'm not going anywhere. My family lives here! How can you expect me to leave this place where my lovely bua ji lives?” khushi replied sternly.

“Your bride loves the place you loathe,” Alia said looking at Arnav with an expression of amu****t on her face.

“You don't get to decide things for khushi. She can do it for herself, mom!”

“So you thinking about settling here?” Alia questioned with the same expression.

“Mom…” Arnav stared at her face for a moment, “You look gorgeous in this sari, phone me if you need anything.” saying this he stood up and left the dining room.

Khushi stared at Alia for a moment to see any blush but instead she found indignation in her eyes. Khushi witnessed the scene between mother-son and was left perplexed. Did his mother not love him or was he a bad son? She ate in silence and didn't even look at Arnav when he left the room.

Anjali began talking to lighten the situation and it worked. At least for Khushi.

*Arnav on call*

“Amit mom is coming to Delhi, make sure everything is fine and if she need anything just ring me directly…”

“Arnav..” he cut the call hearing khushi’s call and turned to see her. “Your mother is gone.” she said sounding sad. He covered the distance between them by taking long strides.

“What happened?” he cupped her face in his big rough palms.

“she doesn't like me…” Arnav sighed.

“Name a person my mom likes? None!” he said bitterly.

“She likes NK, Anjali, Shyam and Akash. But...she doesn't,” Khushi spoke reluctantly what she observed.

Arnav tried to ignore her comment. All his life he consoled himself by lying about the fact that his mother liked no one. No one never really told him this even if they observed this behavior of his mother they chose to ignore it.

“Forget it…”


“-I said forget it!” he said a little sternly. Khushi flinched away from him.

They stared at each other for a moment.

“Will you one day tell me why she detests you?” she asked with a hope in her heart. For the first time, looking in his eyes, she realized she wasn't the only one with fears and insecurities.

“She doesn't detest me!” he gritted his teeth.

“She does… bua ji says, eyes never lie, Arnav.” she left the room and Arnav wished the earth would swallow him or Khushi would lose her emotional intelligence. Because all he wanted was a friend who knew nothing about him: his dark secrets, his past and his insecurities. He wanted Khushi to be that friend: The one who loved him as a stranger and unconditionally. Maybe he was asking for too much because Khushi suddenly have wits to observe everything going on with his life.

He shook his head and called Ali.


“Prepare room for khushi, I will be there before dusk.”

“Okay. How is khushi? Maryam is asking…”

“None of your business Maryam!”

“She is my friend, maryam says.” Arnav rolled his eyes.

“Ali get things together in mansion. I don't want Khushi to see any weapon lying around.”

“Are you pissed off?”


“What's wrong?” Arnav had an urge to pour his heart out but his throat dried.

“Not on the phone.” he said hoarsely.

“See you around then!” Ali cut the call and Arnav sat on the bed think in hard about how to convince Khushi without hurting her sentiments. Taking Khushi back to Delhi was necessary. Her bua ji would unveil his past to Khushi which he didn't want and she probably would tell her about their mothers’ feud and he didn't have enough energy or courage to explain everything about their past to her. Not yet. He has always ignored his past like one ignores a worst book after reading once. He will never open up about it. He could never. He was tired of his ugly life.

He heard her footsteps nearing and decided he was gonna deal with her.


“Hmm’” she hummed smiling to herself. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah...sure.” she sat beside him earnestly.

“We are going to Delhi in an hour.” it took khushi a minute to understand what he said.

“I...You said I…”

“Forget what I said...we are leaving now.” he said in a tone of urgency.

“I don’t wanna go…”

“You didn’t want to marry me either but you did.”

“You forced me to.”

“I’ll force you to come with me then.” khushi gulped hearing his cold voice.

“Wh- What happened?”

“Nothing you should know about.” he closed his eyes turning his face away from hers. Don’t melt Arnav…

“I refuse to leave this place…”

“Alright then.” he got up, scooped her up in his arms and started walking out of the room and the the haveli.

Khushi struggled but his hold tightened making her wince in pain. “Stop! you are hurting me!”

He didn’t say anything. “Stop! Let me at least meet Dadi!” but he didn’t stop till he made her sit on the passenger seat and buckled her seat-belt. He started driving very fast and it scared khushi. Tears streamed from her eyes and she turned her face away from him. She wiped her face with shivering hands.

He drove unaware of khushi’s state. A defensive wall has been set up around his heart and only thing he remembered was that he has to take her away. Away from his past and that horrible place.  

The car came to a sudden halt and her eyes widened in fear and shock. There was a guy standing in front of their car with his hands in the air.


“I’m sorry...I just…” but before he could continue Arnav threw a punch on his face.

“I just needed a life! Calm your knickers bro!”

“I’m not your bro. Get the f*ck out of my way.” Arnav glared at him. Khushi stared at them confused and scared. She began trying to unlock the window.

“I need a lift…”

“What is it?” Khushi asked through open window.


“Madam...hello!” the boy took his hat off and smiled “Can I get a lift please, I’m new here. And I’ve got no family here either. Can I?”

“Sure!” Khushi smiled “We have plenty of space here..” khushi said pointing at the back seat.

“You’re an angel.” he smiled again and khushi smiled this time genuinely.

“Can you unlock the door please?” the boy turned to very angry and jealous ASR.


“Arnav…”  khushi stared at his face with her big slightly red eyes making him take a sharp breath. No. he can’t  

“Right...get in.” khushi closed the window and the boy whispered to Arnav, “How come that woman married a prick like you?”  

Arnav sat in the driver seat without responding and unlocked the door for the idiot. Let khushi safely reach home then he’ll teach this moron a lesson.   

“Where do you wanna go?” khushi asked the boy once he settled on the backseat.

“Delhi.” he smiled cheekily and khushi smiled back. Arnav closed his eyes trying to control his anger.

“Why are you here?”

“To find someone.”

“Who?” khushi asked frowning.

“A woman.” khushi smiled at his answer.

“Your childhood love?”

“Not mine.” he laughed and khushi raised her eyebrows. “My father’s.”

“Your whom?”

“It sounds silly but well...I’m just curious.”   

“It’s not silly!” khushi smiled.



“You must be really special khushi for you’re the only person to say that!” khushi smiled and suddenly her smile left her face, she turned her face away from him and looked out of window. She wasn’t special. On the contrary she was just too ordinary for her own good. Today she has no love for herself. 

She felt like crying again. Why was he so bad? And why was she angry at herself for his heartlessness? Shouldn’t she fight him? But it was her fault. She chose to trust him. She chose to have faith in his goodness. She chose to have expectations higher than mount Everest. She deserved that pain and disappointment. He was just being himself , normal ASR. nothing new. She had seen him that night when he woke her up from her room and abducted her in front of her family and claimed her as his bride.

“Can I get some water?” the boy’s voice pulled her out of pits of self pity.

“Yeah..” she cleared her throat which made Arnav look at her in concern. She handed him bottle and took it with a ‘thank you.’ the car came to a halt just then. Arnav turned to khushi.

“Are you okay?” he asked seeing her red eyes. Was she crying, again?

“Yeah…” she lied and turned her face away. He held her hand and kissed it. Khushi closed her eyes trying to suppress her cries. She was melting away, again. Why was she so soft and relentful?

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, I’m.” said the boy with a grin.

“Shut up! I’m asking my wife.”

“No. I’m not.” she said and pulled her hand out of his grip. He turned his attention back to driving. This time he didn’t stop not even for red signals.

Khushi closed her eyes and fell asleep.

“You should apology to her.” the boy said to Arnav seeing khushi asleep.

“And who are you?” he said through gritted teeth.

“A man with common sense.” Arnav didn’t reply.

“Why don’t you smile?” Arnav didn’t reply again.

“You have an angel for a wife. I wouldn’t stop grinning if i was married to her!” if it wasn’t for sleeping khushi, Arnav would’ve threw him out of moving car. But such an action would wake up khushi and she needed rest.

“What gel do you use? You hair look dope!”

“Where is your wedding ring? Don't indians wear those?”

“What are you gonna do in Delhi?”

“Where did you brought this SUV?”

“Is that Rambrandt’s mini statue? Oh i love that man!”

“Do you know you look like someone I know?”

“So are you deaf or what? Or you’ve some kind of phobia for strangers?” Arnav’s response to boy’s chatter was silence. His head was aching already.

“Get out!” he ordered the boy once they reached Delhi. Khushi looked around and yawned.

“Goodbye angel!” khushi smiled at him.

“Goodbye….your name?”


“Goodbye Zayn!” he grinned and left.

“What?” khushi asked Arnav who was looking at her with his eyes filled with unknown emotions.

“Is he better than me?”




“-Answer me!”

“What if i don’t?”

“You hate me…” he nodded his head trying to block off his insecurities.

“Yes I hate it when you are acting like a prick.”

“A prick?”

“Yes!” khushi gulped. She didn’t want to fight him. But she couldn’t stop. “And that’s why, I’m scared of you.”

He turned the engine on and sped away toward RM. he didn't want her to be scared of him. But it was you who wanted her to be afraid of you. It please you, remember? Now he wanted her to be his fearlessly...nothing more.  


Cooment? thank y'all. my exams are over and I'll try to update regularly. 

And don't y'all start thinking dirty stuff about Z. he is here for a reason and *spoiler alert* is related to asr.


Jan 13, 2018

Beautiful Pain next part is up. (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 28 times)

Chapter# 20

                                                             "Needed him" 

"'cause I'm a fool for you/and the things you do"

In Delhi, AR Fashion House

“I’m so done with these so called new designers. They have got no talent Ali! If the next one is as trashy as the others I won’t leave you alive.”

“Maryam will avenge my death. Fear me!” he grinned stupidly making Arnav snort.

“You look happier!”

“And you pissed off!”

“These untalented people-”

“-Aren’t the real reason of your’on you can’t lie to me!” Ali sat up straight and placed his elbows on the table and stared at Arnav’s hard face.

“Amit..” Arnav called his assistant who ran inside, “Next portfolio without candidate! I may as well end up beating this one.” he turned to Ali once Amit left, “Stop staring at me Ali!”

“O.K” he shrugged and started sipping his coffee. “Since you are gonna reject this one too, I’ll just chill.” he spoke coolly and Arnav shook his head at his attitude. He is always sure about stuff.   

Amit placed the portfolio on the table in front of Arnav and Left. “Wish Shyam was here, I wouldn’t get bored.” Ali remarked and Arnav rolled his eyes.

“You can leave if you want to!” Arnav spoke offended.

“What? Don’t tell me you’re jealous!” Ali winked at him.

“Oh shut up!” Arnav pushed opened the portfolio and surprisingly found it interesting enough to give it his whole attention.

“Holly Madonna!” Ali exclaimed, “Seems like you found what you’re looking for!”

“Yeah...Amit!” his assistant came running in, “Call this guy or person whoever it is.”

After about two minutes, the door opened and entered a guy with green hairs wearing ripped jeans and Bob Marley shirt and Ali noticed the guy had his ears and nose pierced.

“The real artist here!” He cried and Zayn smiled at him, it didn’t vanish seeing Arnav whose jaws were clenched.   

“What are you doing here?” he asked gritting his teeth which he did often in anger.

“I’m here for interview.” his smile was making Arnav mad.

“Do you both know each other?” Ali butt in.

“Oh yes! He or more precisely Mrs. ASR gave me lift yesterday.” Zayn replied earnestly and Ali understood exactly why ASR has been so pissed off.


“-Such an angel she is!” Arnav had an urge to strangle him but Ali interrupted his very aggressive thoughts by suggesting Zayn should wait outside for a few moments so to give them some space to talk privately.

“I’m not hiring this guy here!” Arnav announced as soon as Zayn was out of sight.

“Arnav I know you’re jealo- *Arnav glared at him* -I mean we need him or we are doomed this season…”

“Not a chance! I don’t trust him.”

“Look! Whatever personal complications you’ve with him, don’t involve them in business. Look at me, I’m gonna have to work with Lavanya and you have no idea how awkward things are between us! Just put your personal differences aside and lets take advantage of his talent and kick our rivals’ asses!”

Arnav looked thoughtful and after a moment nodded, “Okay but you’ll have to keep an eye on him. Ali I don’t trust him, I’m telling you again!”

“Leave it on me.” Arnav relaxed a bit at his assurance and called him in.

“Sit Down MR.-?

“Call me Zayn.” he said sitting down on the chair right in front of the two men.

“Zayn...where is your CV?”

“I thought Portfolio was enough…” Arnav gave him a hard look, “I mean I don’t have a college degree.” he shrugged.

Ali: “What does it have to do with your CV?” .

Zayn: “I heard AR admires talent.”

Arnav: “How would you know we are hiring?”

Zayn: “I read newspaper.”

Ali: *mutters* smartass

Arnav: “You’re hired! You get to work from this very moment and we can discuss your salary once you settle down a bit. *calls Amit* Show him the way, he is hired.”

Zayn: “Can I get a place to sleep here? Umm I’m kinda homeless.”

Arnav: “Studio is all yours.” Zayn leaves grinning ear to ear.

“You’re a great actor, bro!” Ali exclaimed and Arnav left without replying. Zayn, whoever he was, he was here for a mission and Arnav was anxious to know what it was.

Raizada Mansion,


After lunch khushi was in a room that Anjali said was hers. It has grey and white paint with many artistic sceneries hung here and there. The room was big, airy and well lighted with a king size and very soft bed; a coffee table in one corner with three armchairs around it, a small bookshelf standing next to coffee table; a big TV (khushi couldn’t comprehend from its slimness and great size what kind of tv it was) and the room had a bathroom and a big dressing room attached to it. There was also a secret garden guarded by locked door.  

The floor was covered with colorful persian rugs and there were many ancient decoration pieces on display on the coffee table, in between books, on the nightstand and in the decorated almirah built in the wall near big TV.

It was better than all the rooms and houses khushi had seen in movies and tv shows. It was so beautiful.

Khushi was examining a book about aesthetic arts, sitting on the armchair when her thoughts went to Arnav. She began thinking about him again even though she told herself she won’t think about him anymore. She tried to concentrate hard on what was written on the silky and smooth pages but failed miserably. She hasn’t talked to him after their little fight in the car yesterday and it turned out that not talking to him made her more unhappy than leaving her village.

Arnav walked in her room to find her lost and contemplating about something staring at the opened book in her lap. He took baby steps and pulled the book out of her clutches, placing it on the table, he swept her in his arms and she just stared at him with her wide eyes and slightly opened mouth.

“ do-wn” she stammered.

Instead of putting her down, he captured her lips in a soft kiss and strolled toward bed. He broke the kiss and placed her gently on the soft mattress.

“Darling!” he breathed in her hairs, half lying above her petite figure and began kissing her neck. Khushi closed her eyes feeling herself getting lost in his touch. Her stomach filled with butterflies. Suddenly, her pride kicked in and she with all her might, slightly pushed him away from herself.

“I’m still angry.”

“How do I pacify to my pretty little missus?”

“By telling me why you brought me here?” she asked with firmness in her tone. He was her husband and bua ji said she could fight him and question him too, it was her right.

“Your life was in danger there, the guys are out there ready to hunt me down by hurting you. I am just trying to protect you.” he told her half-truth, half-lie.

“You and and I are two different people-” he cut her off, "-but bound together by a vow khushi. and I vowed to protect you” he kissed her forehead, “if you get hurt, I get hurt 10 times more.” khushi stared at his face for moment and nodded convinced that he was stating the truth and that she should forgive him.

“Am I forgiven?” even though he probably knew the answer he asked anyway.

“Yes.” she smiled. She craved to hold him, talk to him, kiss him and giggle at his strange sense of humor. Maybe she needed him more than he needed her.

“Can I *kisses her knuckles* make love to you?” she closed her eyes feeling pleased and nice and nodded giving him approval to love her like he wished to.

AR Studio

Zayn *over the phone* “Listen mate, if you provide me necessary information about the woman and man, you’ll get twice the amount you’re asking me.”

Person on the other side: “Its hard sir, no knows who killed her however I’ll try my best to to get back to you with some useful information soon.”

Zayn: “Okay.” he cut the call and got engrossed in his drawings but thinking about the mystery woman his father loved so much and he felt excited too because he was gonna unveil secrets of his father, his ancestors and it felt good. Smelled of adventure and he lived for it!


what's your theory on Zayn? why do you think happy and so in love Arshi ended up hurting each other like stated in prologue? I'm so ready to unveil their future. just few more chapters and we''ll get to prologue!

please comment, thank you very much!

Feb 3

Beautiful Pain"Clouds, Dreams, Lights" (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 30 times)


                                    “Clouds, Dreams, Lights”


Khushi snuggled in his chest, feeling warm and content.

“This house is so big. In one day I lost my room thrice…” she complained lazily.

“You’ll get used to it…” he replied nuzzling her hairs.

“I don’t like big houses.” khushi pouted

“Why not?”

“They are so full and yet so empty…” she articulated thoughtfully, “I think ghosts live in big houses…”

“You still believe in ghost stories…”

“Yes…” he laughed. She jerked her head up to face him, “Don’t laugh, they exist!”

“I don’t bel-”

“You are so skeptical about everything…” khushi knitted her brows in irritation.

“Not about you.”



“You’re. You just pretend not to be. I bet you don’t trust me…”


“-Arnav don’t. I am not clever enough but I know when someone related to me lies. Bua ji said, if you trust me, you’ll ask my opinion and respect it…” Arnav was dumbfounded by her sharp observation,  

It wasn’t true. Arnav loved her and he respected everything related to her. But he just couldn’t help when he was insecure and so overwhelmed. Life has never been easy for him. Having someone so precious after so many years makes you over-protective. You don’t get sleep at night because you’re worried about their safety, you’re worried you’ll mess up and hurt them. And before you know, you’re the reason they get hurt in the end.

“Darling…” he held her closer, “I absolutely adore you and respect your’s just that...I-”

“You don’t trust my opinion...I wouldn’t be here if you did.”

“,” he took a sharp breath, “I didn’t want you to know anything about-” his phone rang and he received it immediately.

“Lavanya? Where are you?” Khushi stared at him as he talked.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye!”

Khushi expectantly gazed at him and he he cleared his throat, “I just don’t trust your family…” he lied again.

“Why not?”

“Khushi they could not protect you from me.” khushi was silent. Arnav was right. But she still couldn’t forget his restlessness.

“I just...want to protect you.” khushi nodded her head and he embraced her lovingly.

“Buenas noches!”

“You mean good night!” khushi giggles.

“You’re smart!” he murmured gently. Khushi closed her eyes and slept in seconds.  


AR Studio

Zayn over the phone, “Yes, what’s the news?”

“Sir, I know something that may help you in your search.”

“SMS me. Now.”

“Done.” he cut the call and stared at the address with a smile on his face.

“May the force be with you!” he wished himself a good luck and placed phone in his jacket before hanging it on one of the hook of wall mounted coat rack.

He threw himself on the sofa and slept instantly anticipating tomorrow with hope, wonder and excitement.


“Anjali…” Aliya gazed at her daughter intently as they both sat on breakfast table waiting for others to arrive, “You’re hiding something from me. I see that in your eyes.”

“No you don’t. I’m not hiding anything. Mom maybe you should see doctor for your eyesight!” Aliya refused to believe her but she couldn’t argue, not in front of everyone especially Arnav.

“Why don’t we go for shopping, what say khushi?” Anjali chirped when everyone settled around the table.

“I love shopping!” khushi grinned.

“Perfect!” Anjali turned to her husband who upon sensing her gaze instantly turned to Ankit, “We have to go and see Riza, don’t we?” Ankit stared at him for a moment amused before nodding his head and adding, “Just let me finish breakfast.”

“What were you saying darling?” Arnav rolled his eyes at his dramatic brother in law.

“We’ll take the driver, do your work.” Anjali him warmly. And he smiled glad that he is saved from painful shopping experience. Good luck to khushi though, he thought flashing a smile at khushi.

After breakfast, everyone scattered away to their respective workplaces. Khushi to her room after seeing Arnav off. Anjal getting ready for shopping. Shyam, Ankit and Akash went out to “work”. Arnav to AR along with NK.

“How is our new designer? Ali says he is brilliant!” NK spoke excitedly trotting behind his brother.

“He is fine!” replied ASR nonchalantly, walking inside AR premises.  

“I saw his des-”

“-NK,” Arnav stopped walking and NK who was blindly following him bumped in him, “Get to work.”

“Oh, yeah! I’m here to work.” he smiled nervously and started following Arnav to his office.

“Welcome back Lav.” she hugged him and sighed.

“I’m fine!” she assured him breaking the hug and he nodded.

“I heard about the new designer.” she smiled

“I’m gonna fire Ali.”

“Been telling you exact same thing for five years.” Lavanya said smartly as Ali entered inside the meeting room looking tired.

They both (lav and ASR) eyed him with curiosity.

“What?” he exclaimed and they both shrugged with mischievous smile,. “Save your dirty thoughts, been researching this new designer guy all night *facing Arnav*. File will be on your table, check it when you’re free.” he blinked seeing Lavanya. “How are you?”

“Fine.” just then NK along with other staff member joined in.

“Where is Zayn?” Ali asked as they all started discussing short term objective especially now when time was short, they’ve to be faster and more efficient.

“I’m here!” zayn announced bumping in everything on his way, he smiled and waved at everyone.

“You’re late!” ASR spoke in hardened tone reserved for his employees and people in general.

“Oh don’t blame me!” he said sitting down, “The coffee in AR is awful. Ruined my morning!” Arnav ignored his last remark. Silly boy.

“I want everyone to speak whatever new ideas you’ve or the old ones you think can be relevant. Open your mouth. I’m all ears.”

Everyone spoke except Zayn.

“I won’t pay for sitting still!” Arnav’s voice broke in his la la land.

“Oh! I want to show something. Its incomplete of course.” he opened his bag, pulled out big bundle of untidy papers, “Last night I had  dream and I was floating in the air and in those fluffy clouds i got the very inspiration I was looking for! So i woke up in the middle of night and did this” he placed the papers in front of Arnav smiling, his eyes glued on Lavanya who raised her eyebrows quizzically and he smiled stupidly in return.

And then while Arnav was examining those designs, zayn grinned and addressed Lavanya “Would you go out with me? Tonight? There is this nice place where we can dine...”

“Excuse me?” she gaped at him. Was he asking her out?

“Yes!” everyone was either amazed or praying for Zayn’s life because everyone was aware of Lavanya’s bad temper.

“You just asked me out for date!” ASR still engrossed in designs. He liked them. Not bad. Not for a guy like Zayn. he heard lavanya talking.

“Yes!” he smiled, “You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.”

“Horrible line! Try again!”

“Wait!” he grinned and scribbled something one the paper and handed it gracefully to her.

“I wanna stick my half-blood prince inside your chamber of secrets, and release the prisoner of azkaban to give you the deathly hallows.” Lavanya stared at him with disbelief and glared at him and smiled in return making her mad.

“What? Don’t like it? I have another in my min-”

“Alright!” Arnav broke in halting their one-sided flirt which NK thought was awful and ridiculous. Why wasn’t Lavanya look as mad as she should be?

“What makes you think this is perfect theme? Clouds and dreams and lights?”

“In my mind,” he began earnestly, “dreams are synonymous to clouds. And when you dream, there is hope..that’s when lights kick in. there is no feeling better than dreaming and women hope excessively. This collection is for young aspiring, brilliant women who dream and nothing delights a woman more than things she can relate to!”

“How did you manage this in few hours?”

“Its incomplete!” Arnav stared at him with expressionless face, “ASR, you’re skeptical.” he didn’t reply, “Fine!” he threw his hands in surrender. “I drew rough sketches in plane and after i float in the air in my dreams, these sketches made sense so I put some finishes here.” he shrugged but seeing Arnav not budging he sighed, “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not lying!”

“Studio is yours zayn, get to work but remember one thing, you’ll get your desired salary but I want perfection. Nothing less.” he got up, “Meeting is over.” lavanya stood beside him as he introduced her to zayn “She is our main model.”

“So should I take your silence as yes?” he grinned and Arnav rolled his eyes.

“Nope!” with one move she punched him in the face throwing him on the floor. “It means I’m mad.” Arnav shook his head and left the room.

Later that day when zayn went to Arnav’s office and aw lavanya, he grinned and said, “I’m not giving up. A punch isn’t enough, baby cakes.” lavanya glared at him and left.

“IMMA marry this woman!” he told Arnav who gave him a steely glare.

“Who are you Zayn?” he asked in the same hardened tone he used in morning.

“Are you interviewing me again? I thought we were done with the recruitment process.”

“Stop acting!”

“You hate me!” he laughed “Not that I mind!”

“Yes, I hate people I can’t trust!”

“Then you must be awfully lonely!”

That was last time ASR asked him gently. Now he will wait for him to act. Because in his world actions define reactions.


Alright buckle up, sad chapters are coming up. and also this fiction is few chapters away from ending. 

thank you for being nice enough to comment and press thank you button. I LOVE Y'ALL.

Also I'm learning Spanish. no I mean not a consistent learner but still..

Feb 5

Beautiful Pain *The Perfect Date* is up. (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 34 times)


                                                *The Perfect Date*

Two days passed peacefully without any unusual movement from Zayn or any further inquiry from Khushi.

Its sunday and Arnav is home  reviewing his plan of perfect date with khushi who was still sleeping beside him. He glanced at her tranquil face and smiled to himself. He was gonna make this day memorable to her. Locking his tablet screen, he began prodding her gently.

“No...don’t!” she threw the sheet over her head and he chuckled.

“Khushi darling….its morning!” he pulled the sheet of her face and she groaned.

“I thought you said you love me?” she spoke with a hint of sarcasm which Arnav found amusing. “Only a person who hates me will disturb my sleep!”

“Darling its 10 past 8!” she jerked up hearing the time.

“Why didn’t you tell me before? Oh. My. God. I was supposed to be helping in kitchen and puja-”

“Khushi calm down!” he held her arm, “No one will scold you here...this is your house and wake up when you want to.”

“But you mom…” he frowned.

“Forget what she said.” he said letting her arm go. “Go freshen up, you seem hungry.”


Later that morning Arnav confronted his mom who seemed surprised at her son’s sudden entry in her room. He never really did that.

“What did you tell khushi?”

“Excuse me?” Aliya stood tall with arrogance in her eyes.

“Mom, stay away from khushi.”

“Why? She is my daughter in law!” she said scornfully making him clentch his jaw.

“Mom don’t approach her again. It would be better for both parties.”

“Just like your father you fell for the wrong person…” he stared at her passively, no anger, no hate not even love.


“You married her daughter!”

“How do-?”

“I know everything about her. I didn’t expect this from you!” hee gave dry laugh which sounded too awkward to his own ears.

“You never expected good from me, so it makes us even.”

“Why? Was it to avenge me?”

“Mom, I love her.”

“I thought you liked Lavanya.” he stayed mum. What did she know about his life, anyway? Aliya spoke after a minute, “Whenever I see her face, I’m reminded of my dead friend. I don’t want to miss her.”

“The friend you abandoned years ago.”

“She deserved it!”

“Stay away from khushi.” he left with a kind of hollowness creeping somewhere inside him. He always felt that emptiness whenever around her. She was his mother who once upon a time loved him very much and now, well, she never called him ‘son’. He refused to feel. Nope. today is special. Khushi is special. He stopped in corridor and blinked twice, composing himself back to normality.

“We are going out!” he cheered stealing book from her hands.

“This is such a great book. Let me finish it!”

“Milk and Honey? Did you buy this trash yesterday?” khushi’s eyes widened at his harsh language. She stood up and glared at him.

“This is so good! How dare you call it trash!” she fumed and snatched the book from his hands. She sat down and started reading.  

He stood flabbergasted.

“Khus-” he started but she glared at him.

“Have you read this?” she said pointing at the book n her hand.

“No...I...well, Ali says its no good.”

“That’s it!” khushi spoke triumphantly, “You’ve not even read it!”


“Don’t disturb me.” she said vexed by his judgmental remark.

Arnav stared at his seated wife. She hasn’t been this angry with him before. Not even when he brought her to Delhi.    

“Umm...we were going somewhere.” he cleared his throat clearly nervous now.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Khushi, are you alright?” he asked concerned. Lavanya once said Menstruation sometimes makes girls crazy.

“Nope. not after you insulted my favorite poetess. You men think you’re great at everything and women can’t reach your standard.”

“No. my bad. I shouldn’t have said that. Yeah…” he pulled the chair and sat next to her, “I think women are great…” now khushi couldn’t focus on poem and attentively heard him, “You know, Emily ****inson is my favorite poetess. Her is next to perfection.”

“My sister bought this from her college and we read it together. Yesterday, i saw this new copy and brought it.” she said proudly, “And I’ve her second book “Sun and her flowers”. I am not rushing to read it. Take my time. Read it slowly.” she smiled staring yellow paperback book. “Can we just read this together? I am sure you’ll love it!” he couldn’t deny her hopeful request. He nodded his head and moved his head closer to hers and she opened the book to read.

“Why don’t you read to me?” he said placing his head on her shoulder.

“Okay,” she said anxious to convince him that this book wasn’t trash after all.

I thank the universe

For taking

Everything it has taken

And giving to me

Everything it is giving


“I don’t understand!” he scrunched his nose and khushi replied earnestly, “This is about loss. Have you ever lost someone you love more than your life? If you have then you should know the kind of balance a human can create between pain and just living, you know. You don’t breathing but you don’t remain the same breathing machine either.”

“I feel like I’m talking to Dalai Lama.” khushi rolled her eyes and began reciting another poem then another and one by one, the poems recited by her and obediently and attentively heard by him.

Khushi was so carefree all the time and it made Arnav happy and he felt strangely normal like other men must feel when in love and blessed with woman like her. So innocent yet so emotionally intelligent. Fearful but yet so courageous. He has so much to learn from khushi.

“You know Maryam got me a present?” she didn’t wait for his reply and ran into changing room only to come back seconds later with a bundle of black chiffon in her arms.

“Its a sari! Should I wear it today?” she cheered smiling toothily making his heart flutter.

“I thought you said you didn’t wanna go out…”

“Oh no! I said i won’t go out leaving unfinished book!”

“As you wish, my love!” she didn’t wait to hear the last part and ran inside changing room.

After ten minutes, they both were walking out of RM, hand in hand laughing at khushi’s silly joke.

He took her to long drive and taught her how to get over her fear of speed. “Only by facing fear,” he has told her, “can you rise above it!” and she tried, first with her eyes closed and then with open eyes. She was fascinated by the tinkles the speeding car created inside her body. It made her smile. And so to Arnav delight, she grinned all through their long drive.

After that, he took her to a country hotel for lunch. The food was fresh for the hotel was near villages and farm. Khushi loved the food and talked a lot. She told Arnav about how to spinach and all the pros and cons of using pesticides. Then she turned her attention to potatoes. She began praising how pretty potatoes look when pulled out of earth. They smell nicer than anything in her view. She talked about sunflowers and how she once observed flowers moving along the sun. she told him how only a woman can pull cotton from cotton bud safely and she taught him how to do that. He watched her eating and talking and that afternoon, he was the happiest man alive.

They both roamed in and out of city all evening. Khushi was happiest.

He then took her to a very fancy hotel which khushi has never seen even in movies.   

“This Anjali’s hotel.” khushi stared at Arnav surprised.

“She never told me!”

“Raizadas love secrets.” he muttered to himself.

“It’s so beautiful!”

“Yeah! She has always been passionate about food hotels.” he admired Anjali’s talent of managing stuff with patience and optimism which he lacked. They weren’t very close siblings, probably because he refused to open up, but he had once told her how proud he was of her success and she had earnestly thanked him.

They ate and as expected Khushi loved the food and was adamant to see the chef and when he took her in the kitchen to see chef, she won’t leave the chef until he promise her that he will write her a recipe book for her which he promised he’ll probably to get her off his back but Arnav saw genuine affection in old man’s eyes and realized it was khushi’s special effect to smite people without trying.

Look at him, he was head over heels in love with her and she didn’t even had to try!

“Will you always plan surprises for me like this one?” she asked him and he was about to reply her when his phone range.  It was Ali informing him his mother was kidnapped. 



I'm noticing low response on my fictions. I ask why?

Feb 8

Beautiful Pain next part "Like a child" is up. (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 36 times)

Chapter#23 (ignore typos!)

                                               "Like a child"

“Do you have any news?” Arnav barged inside his office where all four of his friends were waiting anxiously.

“No...she’s been lost since morning...driver says he asked to drive her wherever she wanted but she declined him and drove herself instead. After twelve in the morning when she didn’t return he got worried and his job of tracing her car but it was empty near Delhi Public Library. Empty. Everything is in the car: money, gun even her shopping bag with jewelry in it is untouched!”

“Shyam go home!” Arnav began, “Don’t let NK or Anjali get air of it!”

“So I’m just gonna lie-?”

“What did you do in the morning?” Arnav spoke fiercely making Shyam nod his head.

“I’m scared of your sister catching me lie!” he muttered and Arnav pretended not to hear.

“Ali...tell me what you’ve got there?”

“None of our foe, I assure you, is involved in this affair.”

“Why wasn’t I informed earlier?”

“It was your first real date after you marriage, we didn’t want to ruin it!” Akash said soberly.

“My mother was ****ing kidnapped and you were thinking about what?” he barked angrily suddenly too tired to stand, he sat down.

“ASR we thought she was somewhere enjoying her day alone which in her own words, ‘having private affair’ with herself to get her ‘thoughts together.’ she does that every now and then.” Lavanya articulated hoping to calm his boiling temper.

“Who can do this? Its clear none of our opponent has the guts and even if they did, they don’t know Miss Aliya!” Ali said thoughtfully.

“I think, I know who did it!” Lavanya cleared her throat hesitantly as if to convince herself to believe in what she was about to say.

“Zayn.” said she and Arnav together except Arnav was sure of his doubt while Lavanya in her heart praying it be false.

“I know you hate that guy but he’s been here for four days and we can’t-”

“Five days and yes he is the one I suspect.”

“OK we need proof to believe it.” Ankit spoke doubt written all over his face. “I’m not kidnapping an innocent man!”

“What do you say?” Arnav turned to Lavanya who looked at Ali who seemed doubtful.

“My guts tell me he is guilty.”

“All we’ve is your guts but sadly they’re not enough to guide us!” Ali uttered a bit irritated.

“My guts have always been right!”

“I see.”


“Enough!” Arnav stood up glaring at both, “If you wanna fight then go **** off! You’re not needed here!” they both stood in silence and after a minute Arnav began calmly, “Lavany, you’ll put gps chip in his (zayn’s) pocket. Ali call the IT guy, he will track his calls and every other activity. Ankit, you’re coming with me. Akash, you’ll shadow Zayn!”

Everyone did their job perfectly but no trace of evidence was found for next eight hours. Zayn didn’t move from his studio. His mother was nowhere in the entire city and nowhere outside. Arnav came home disappointed and broken. When he entered her room, he found khushi sleeping peacefully unaware of every evil. He strolled near her and wrapped himself around her covering her body with his like a quilt. He pressed his lips blindly on her soft skin.

Khushi woke up and jerkily pushed him away only to fail. His hold was inescapable.

“It’s me! Shh” his voice came out hoarse making khushi frown in concern.

“Are you okay?” she whispered gently.

“Yes,” he cleared his throat, “I’m just tired!”

“Oh.” she smiled. “You work so hard! You shouldn’t!”

“Why not?”

“You get so tired!” her voice held gentleness which he missed in his mother all his life.

“You are so precious!” he smiled and captured her lips in a long passionate kiss. “I don’t fear anything khushi, as long as I get to hold you like this!” he kissed her again and they kissed for minutes.

“Stop! My lips hurt!” khushi pouted. In the dim light of lamp, he saw her angelic face and tears welled up in his brown orbs. He breathed in and out.

“Arnav!” she cupped his face, “If not kissing me makes you sad, don’t be! Please you can kiss me-”

“-shh! You can never make me sad. You re my angel and I love you!” he pecked her lips and spoke after a minute, “Do you want me to play piano?” he offered his best service to delight his angel.

“No...just stay still, with me.” she said and fell asleep in minutes. When he was drowsing, his phone range.

It was already dusk and call was from Ali.

“I’m coming!” he said as the drowsiness flew away. He carefully unwrapped himself from her body and left taking baby steps as not to disturb her sleep.


“What is it?” Lavanya stared at Arnav concerned as the audio played.

“Did she spill the beans?” it was zayn and Arnav felt surge of anger rising inside him.

“Yes, finally she did! Nd you won’t believe what she said!”

“I don’t care what story she told you, tell me did she confirm what we wanted her to?”

“Well...yes...she did. Let’s cut the call, someone is tracing it.” the call went dead. Arnav banged his fist on the table. Ali was silent and dumbfounded. Everyone else was passive unable to feel anything.


Tied to office chair, zayn stared at five persons killing him with their steely glares. He smiled. A punch landed on his face and he winced.

“What?” he asked impatiently.   

“Why did you kidnap Aliya Malik?”

“Who is she?” he asked confused. Arnav furrowed his brows, now angrier, he replayed the audio call.

“It’s you, right?”

“Oh that’s my evil twin!” another punch, this time from Arnav.

“Answer the question!” Zayn stared at him passively.

“Are you some kinda vigilante? You know like the arrow? And these *glancing at others* are your partners?  

“Question is who are you?” demanded Lavanya with a hard unreadable expression.

“This is why I wanted you to date me!” another punch from Arnav and this time he didn’t stop at one. He punched him again and again until lavanya feared he would break his neck or something.


“Dead, if she won’t open her mouth. What is it to you? Who is she to you?” he coughed.

“Where is she? Tell us and save yourself from pain.” Lavanya said nearing her face to his holding his chair.

“No. not until he tells me who she is to him.”

“I won’t.” Arnav gritted his teeth.

“Lavanya...tell him there is no water and food and a diabetic can’t survive 24 hours with-” he was cut of by Arnav’s hands around his neck. He choked but refuse to talk.

“Arnav, stop!” but he won’t. Ali pulled Arnav away breathing heavily

“She is his mother.” Arnav pushed Ali angrily, throwing him on the floor with a kick on his leg.

“That wasn’t your secret to tell!” he kicked him in stomach. Lavanya held his arm and pulled him away.

“You anger, ASR, will not bring your mother back. Get a grip!” she said indignantly. Arnav turned to Zayn.  

“The woman is your...mother?” he said with disbelief written all over his face, his pain forgotten.

“Tell me where she is.” Arnav asked leaning over his chair, his eyes filling up but he refused to show any soft emotion. Zayn looked down.

“She’s safe, I lied about starving her…” he glanced up at Arnav, his eyes softening, he swallowed hard, “I’m not heartless like her...I cannot be!” Arnav, despite his anger and hate, was taken aback by his changed tone. “Don’t you wanna know the woman on the other side?”

“Tell me everything…”

“She is a woman whose father was taken away by your mother, her childhood destroyed by your mother.” the door creaked open and everyone’s gaze was fixed on the door and the person who appeared there.

Ali sighed. He wished it wasn’t her. He had wished even though he knew the voice was hers. It was Maryam and Arnav knew that too but he chose to ignore it...maybe it wasn’t her, he thought...maybe they both were just imagining stuff. But it was was her standing in front of them with her grey eyes glowing with unknown emotions.  

“Let my friend go,” she said watching zayn who gave a smile in return.

“Your friend has a lady of importance...either he dies or spill the beans.”

“ASR, your mother is in my custody, let him go!”

“Maryam, what are you saying?” Ali spoke flabbergasted.

“The truth.” she turned to Arnav whose eyes were on her from the moment she entered the room. “The truth, Ali, you all have been running away from like child running in vain after his father’s bus.” Ali flinched at the reference and even if Arnav did flinched he didn’t show it. “But I couldn't run. Not anymore. All my life, I’ve run like a child after a bus, I’m tired now.”

“Maryam, we can talk this out, you know. It's not the right way-”

“-you don’t get to tell me rights and wrongs Ali. you lost that right when you joined his *pointing at Arnav* hands.”

“Where is my mother?”

“You let him go, your mother will be home in no time.”

“Ali, leave the three of us,” he added after a pause, “alone.”

“I know you hate me but why my mom?”

“Because she is a murderer and I’m sorry if you don’t want to believe it. That’s your loss.” zayn said seriously.

“Maryam, tell me everything.”

“You sure you wanna know Mr. Raizada?”


“Ask him-”

“-No I don’t trust him!”

“You’ve to. This is not my secret and I’m not entitled to reveal it. He knows more anyway.” she paused, “I gotta go, your mom is home.” she said and blinked at zayn who nodded in acknowledgement.


“-Mr. Raizada, you’re son of the woman who ruined my home...don’t try to reach me, I’m am closed for you.” he didn’t push anymore. This was nicest she has ever talked with him. He turned to zayn whose gaze was fixated on him.

“Will you get me out of these cuffs?”

“No. Not until you tell me everything!”

“My mouth hurts.” Arnav didn’t reply instead dialed a number and ordered them to see him in his farmhouse not so far away from city. He un-cuffed his wrists and ordered him to follow. Why was Arnav being kind to Zayn, he himself had yet to discover.


comment please! next episode will reveal Arshi's past...

Jun 27

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Flashbacks" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 20 times)



Arnav stood with his eyes closed and jaws clenched tight, breathing heavily feeling shame engulfing him from head to toe.

“Mom..,it’s n-not...true. Right?” He stuttered. He had been unsuccessful convincing zayn in spilling the beans. He refused stating ‘Go ahead, ask your mother! Stop bothering me!’ he could have used fists but something stopped Arnav perhaps Zayn’s light slip of tongue that he knew Arnav’s father. So here he was standing in the middle of his mother’s room unsurprised though but still hoping deep inside that whatever his mother said was a joke or a tease.

But he knew it was true and that his mother was cunning enough to do more than what she did with khushi’s family but still he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Why his mother? Why couldn’t it be someone else? His gaze met with his mother’s steady one, X-raying him and he felt exposed as though she could read his mind and knew how he felt.   

“You wanted the truth!” spoke his mother relentlessly, her eyes glinting with madness as though thirsty to do the thing all over again: go back in time and kill her so-called sister with her own hands.

“You are mad!” he shook his head in disbelief, his mother scowled.

“So...go ahead! Leave! Like you fUking father! I hated Mira! I did it the moment my father brought her! She stole everything I loved!” She glowered at him.

He seemed to have lost his voice. His throat constricted as he struggled to keep at bay. The stood in silence glaring at each other for a long minute. He broke the eye contact and pulled out a small cylinder like bottle from the front pocket of his pants.

“What is it?” He snapped it in front of his mother who stared at the brown glass bottle stoically.

“Arnav...I can explai-” began his mother forgetting her anger.

“-Explain what?” he frowned, “That you’ve been taking these pills for how long now?” His face masked with disappointment which he didn’t even try to hide this time. “You promised Anjali!” he could not seal off accusation from his tone.

“I…” Aliya breathed in, “Arnav I…” Sweat poured on her forehead and she stumbled backward. It happened so fast that Arnav stood stunned for a minute or so and when he sensed she was falling, he flung forward to hold her. She was cold as ice. He shivered a little fearing she would die by the way she was panting so hard. And then he fought an urge to cry upon realizing: the old panic attacks were back.

“Mom….Breathe!” He spoke, his voice sounded alien even to himself. “Please!” He dragged her towards the bed and made her sit with his arm around her shoulder, supporting her.  

“I...a-m-m s-rry,” she stammered gasping for air. She was shivering so badly that Arnav for a fleeting moment thought, she would fall apart. Holding her tight in one arm, he pulled out his phone with the other free hand and called the doctor.

“Mom, hold on!” he whispered hugging her tight in his arms after he had summoned the doctor to come fast, “You’ll be fine.” But his mother wasn’t listening immersed in the sea of self pity and remorse which she refused to share with anyone.

The doctor came, examined her, gave her medicine and left with prescription and cautions.

She slept after a while and Arnav didn’t feel the need to call anyone. He had just unravel evilest layer of his mother and he could not muster the courage to face anyone. He needed to be alone.. Now that he was, his mind went back to his boyhood.


“Hello Arnav!” Mira cheered grinning like a teenager, 10 year old Anav flushed but Mira grinned wider pulling his cheek, “You’re so shy!”

“I’m not shy!” He differed.

“OK” Arnav noticed something as they walk toward haveli and asked curiously, “What’s up?”

“What?” she slowed her pace and faced him smiling a little.

“I dunno...You’re…” Arnav fumbled with words finding it hard to express his thoughts, “You-re Glowing.” as he said that his cheeks turned bright crimson.

“Oh honey! You’re so smart!” She bend over him nervously so he could see directly in her hazal orbs, “I-” she cleared her throat, “A baby is coming!” She couldn’t hide her grin as she spoke.

“What? Like NK?” He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Already NK took most of his mother’s time now a new child. He bite his lip, frowning.

“Yep.” her smile faltered, “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly cupping his face.

“You’re gonna stop loving me!” words came out of his innocent little mouth before he could stop.

“Never! Oh dear! I’ll always love you! You’re my son!”


“-No! Listen to me,” she held his shoulder, “I’m like your mother and moms,” she stresses, “Never stop loving!”

6 months later a baby was born, so small that Arnav supposed he could even fit her in his coat’s pocket. Mira was sick, so ill that the doctor her husband fetched from city worried she wouldn’t survive but she was tough. She survived. And khushi grew fast or maybe time was on fast forward mode because Arnav found himself sneaking around Gupta house more often, playing first with her fingers and then teaching her to walk and soon she was big enough to play with dolls and expected him to find groom for her little doll.

He was growing up fast too and handsome like his father whom he admired so much that he often lost his voice around his peaceful demeanor.

“Oh Arnav! Not like this!” His father loved this line and repeated it everytime he would do something wrong. He taught him to write, read, draw, paint and sow seeds of wild flowers in spring. Around him Arnav felt peaceful. But all the time they spent together was mostly engulfed with silence: his father was a quiet man. He seldom saw him fighting or arguing with mother. He was calm and serene like a pond.

And his mother was a fierce woman sometimes even violent but Arnav or his siblings never felt her fist blow. She loved them. Especially Arnav. Later in his life he would discover that extra love she showered on him was because of his sheer resemblance with his father. He had his father’s looks and shared his disposition. Once upon a time she loved his father and then on the night three weeks after his 14th birthday, things changed.

The night he heard his father arguing with his dadi. He and Aliya had just come from evening walk when they heard noises from gran’s room and stopped, unfortunately, to hear the dialogue.

“Mom, stop it!” his gran and father were standing in the middle of the room.

“What, don’t call me mom! I’m your Amma and what were you doing with Mira alone? I ask you again.” He saw his father frown as if he couldn’t believe what was being said.

“Are you suggesting I’m cheating on my wife? Mom how can you-”

“-I can! You answer me first!”

“She wanted me to help her find a lawyer…” he spoke and Arnav wanted to walk in the room but his mother stopped him indicating him not to make any kind of noise.. He obliged.

“After Aliya refused to help, she turned to you!”

“Mom, it a rape! You understand the word, don’t you? How can I not help?”  at this moment he really had no idea why his mother was so interested in this conversation.

“You don’t. You just want to help because it’s oh-so-beautiful Mira!”

“Mom...can you stop it?”

“I can’t. I’ve been noticing her around you. She is witch! A ****!” for the first time Arnav saw his father indignated. His ears and cheeks flushed.   

“Don’t disrespect her!” his voice was low and deeper than usual. Arnav shivered and bite his lip. He glanced at his mother whose eyes were stuck at the scene as though she was watching her favourite tv show, impassive.

“Why not?” and then he saw his gran stumble backward a step or and gasp, “No...Dear No!”

His father didn’t speak and his gran covered her open mouth with her hand.

“I asked you I like Mira not Aliya. Didn’t I?” Aliya’s hold tightened around Arnav’s wrist which she has been holding since she warned him not to make noise. Arnav really wanted to run away. He didn’t to hear anything. But he stayed. For his mother, he stayed.

“She wasn’t worthy! No manner! No sufistication! God knows whose daughter she is! And no kids for ten years into marriage!  Surely I didn’t want my only son to have that fate!”

“I loved her!” he shouted and didn’t seem to regret it. On the contrary, he looked at peace as though he had been dying to say that, to tell someone his secret.

“You’ve a wife! And kids!”

“The one you imposed on me? And don’t my kids in this. Here is the only thing you need to know: I’ve nothing do with my wife’s sister, I’ve never thought of cheating on your daughter in law,” he said ‘daughter in law’ in a way that suggested he respected Aliya more as his mother’s favorite and most desired daughter than his wife.

Arnav did not move a lim, he stood numb, his mouth dried and fists clenched.

His mother become cold. She didn't talk to him or anyone except with his father who was still oblivion to their eavesdropping. They fought, he knew because behind the closed heavy door, he heard her scream and (to his astonishment) his father shouted back too as if avenging for all silent years.

And then father left. No word. No goodbyes. He just left and never came back.

“Mom...Open the door please!” He banged the door until his fists ached but she wouldn’t open it. He needed to tell her that dad was gone and that even fter he tried to stop him, he left. Just like that. No explanations, no farewells.

The guards were told to not let any Gupta in by his Gran. and they weren’t to enter Haveli not until after many years of their departure from the village.

He slid on the floor, his back to door and felt tears of anger and disappointment (and perhaps sadness) pricking his eyes. That was the only night he ever cried. His father was gone and that was also the single most painful experience of his life.   

Two weeks later she emerged; his mother, cold and quiet.

He ran to her and threw his arms around her, he was taller than her now. With all the force, Aliya flung him backward so hard that Arnav couldn’t balance his body and fell over the side table knocking out the precious vase handed down to family for centuries.


“I’m not your mom!” he heard her shrill declaration and felt his stomach clench as if someone had fisted his guts so hard that he couldn’t breath.

He saw her approaching equally scared little NK and Anjali and hugged them muttering, “it’s gonna be fine!” as they told her their father’s sudden departure. Gran was silent and numb all the while.

But things weren’t turning alright, soon after two days they found Aliya lying on the floor unconscious due to an overdose of sleeping pills which was an actual suicide attempt.

After that incident, they left the place that held happy memories and bitter lies.

The first thing he did was hate and blame; he figured it was the best way to supress the pain. He hated his father because loving him was hard and he really had no energy to do that. He just wanted to hate him. For leaving.

He went to schools, many schools and dropped out of every single one of them.Became all the things his father wasn't. His father was a pacifist and Arnav turned anti-pacifist; beating others and getting beaten up became his hobby. He brought a gun soon after moving to big Dehli. Slept with women, he lost name and count of.  Brought a falling garment company and started the business. Assembled a team of some of the best people and conquered the international mafia.

People feared him, some even worshipped in awe. No one in underworld ever got to know how he looked like. It was only when he killed that he showed his face.

ASR was anonymous.

He changed but the hate his mother developed for him never ceased.

The extra shower of love he was sprinkled with for his resemblance with his father had turned into hate.

Hate, he never got used to.

Flashback ends

His phone rang pulling him out of his thought, he picked up at first ring.

Akash, “Zayn wants to leave. Says have things to do!” Arnav frowned.

Arnav, “I’m coming,” he after after stealing a glance at his sleeping mother.

As his car raced out of City Arnav thought about Khushi and how to break this relation to her; he wondered where his father must have gone and what was he doing right now and then his mind went back to his farewell to Khushi.

“I’m leaving,” he had said and she had just stare at him dazed.

“Goodbye Arn,” she had smiled fluttering her eyelashes. It had angered him, why wasn’t stopping him? Wasn’t he her friend? Why wasn’t she crying and begging him to stay? He had felt pathetic.

“You are the worst kind of person I know,” he had pushed her away with such force that khushi stumbled back on the mud street, “You and your mother will rot in hell!” he had bellowed and khushi red with anger had stood up and stared up at him fiercely.

“You are disrespectful! We are no longer friends! I’ll play with Prem and Ajey, they are better than you anyway!” and he had realized she was just a kid. A small little life who only knew dolls and chocolates. He had blinked his tears back feeling utterly lonely and left not looking back.  

He closed his eyes and re-opened them concentrating on the stretched road ahead.

He bite his lip as farm house grew nearer, all these years. He blamed his father for leaving.

And now when he knew it was his mother who made him leave, it didn’t become easier. He figured, to survive, he must blame people who weren’t around to defend themselves. It was better than defending their ghosts. They chose to leave, they deserve to be blamed.

He parked the car and strolled in.

Jun 30

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter "Truth" is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 25 times)

A short update.



There hung thick, disturbing silence between them as Arnav Singh Raizada tried to digest the truth. Truth is like steel rod, once it hit your head, you’re bound to lose your balance.

“You’re m-y brother?” his voice laced with bewilderment.  

“And you’re the ASR…” In his voice was disgust  

“Impossible!” he frowned, “You’re 20 and he...he...he” Arnav realized he didn’t know his father after all. He bite his lip.

“My mom, she met him 21 years in Brooklyn. Dad had some work there. They had an affair.” Zayn added dryly. “He left after a month or so and came lasted for years, on and off..” Although overtly, he sounded indifferent from inside he was disappointed.

Zayn Malik had never in his wildest dreams thought to be put in such tight situation. On one hand were his values and all that he held dear and on the other hand was his very own brother and couple other siblings whom he knew none about.

On one side was his inner peace and the other was what he had craved all his life: a sense of belonging.

But he didn’t want to belong with the guy standing in front of him. No doubt, he was apparently exact copy of his sick father but he wasn’t him in disposition. He was evil. The man whose crime can’t be counted let alone recorded.

He waited for him to ask about their father, his father but he stayed mum staring in the space at unknown point, frowning.

Arnav Singh Raizada shrugged, contemplating hard as though the space around will somehow know the answers and mysteries of his past.

“He just wanted to see you before he died.” Zayn spoke at last for what he had come here.

“He cheated on my mom. He left us alone,” Arnav said through gritted teeth, “Tell him, he might as well die alone!”

“He is you father-”

“-No he isn’t.” Arnav snapped.

“Well then you probably should abandon your mother too!” Zayn snapped back, “She is not an angel, is she?”

“She didn’t cheat on him!”

“Just so you know, she killed her own fuKing sister!” Arnav didn’t say anything to this.

“As long as you’re here, you’ll stay in this house.” he said nonchalantly as though they were not just revealing dirty secrets just a second ago.  

“I don’t”

“-I’m not asking your suggestion.”


“-Zayn, I don’t like repeating myself.”

“I don’t give a ****!” Zayn scowled.

“I don’t either so if you don’t follow orders, I’m gonna have to use force.”

“Are you trying to intimidate me?”

“No. Announcing.” Zayn felt anger rushing his veins. He wanted to fight him but didn’t move.

“I need my things back.” he said in a retiring tone and Arnav nodded mechanically. Zayn saw Arnav turning around walking towards the door.

“He missed you!” Arnav stopped, “Your sister and NK...He loves you...especially you!” Arnav didn’t reply. He didn’t feel anything. Why? He should be sad or angry or happy but he was not feeling anything except the slight protectiveness for Zayn. the guy now staring at his back was his brother, product of his father's extra-maternal affair. He should hate him but he wasn’t.

“After this show, you’ll be shifted to London. If you still would like to work.” saying this he left taking long, quick steps.

Zayn stood there for a moment staring in the empty space where his brother stood just now.

“He is not my brother.” he told himself, “if my dad isn’t his dad then he isn’t my brother either.”    


Comment and press thank you!

I need good feedback. And from the next update we'll have arshi. from here leads the road to prologue.

Jul 1

Beautiful Pain: Important Note (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 18 times)

Hello everyone I hope you're having a good day/night. 

Lets get straight to the point: I'm thinking of discontinuing this fiction. It's the low response that demotivate me. 

I dunno really. On one hand I don't want to hurt my readers who actually take the trouble to press thank you button and comment, one the other hand the response is getting lower and lower.

I put my time and effort in my fictions and when there is low response it just doesn't settle well with me.

So we'll settle this this matter here, if I get 50+ votes on continue, I will. Otherwise, I'm sorry. 

I need to know if people still read what I write or not. 



Voting: (Total Votes: 71)

Yes, continue
Nope, don't!
Jul 1

Beautiful Pain: Next Chapter is up! (By Farakhan) (Thanked: 28 times)

Since votes are 50+, I'm updating but please try to show your presence. It means a lot.



This update is dedicated to @Noor. You never give up on my work no matter how ****py it is <3 


Days turned into weeks and weeks in months and now after 4 months, Arnav could run from Khushi. He had been pretending to be busy. He had even left the country for five weeks, he even let Khushi spent a week with her family but he simply couldn’t prepare himself to reveal the bitter truth to his hitherto lovely but confused wife who looked at (if he ever decided to go home) him with her eyes filled with question and he always pretended to be so tired and exhausted as not to be able to sit and talk.  

And today, its six month to their wedding. Arnav sighed. He has not touched her in all these days and he ached to be near her.

He decided to see her.

It’s alright, he told himself, she won’t eat him.

“Good evening!” he heard her as soon as he entered the room. She looked hopeful.

“Go-good evening!” he smiled less enthusiastically.

She began helping him take his coat and tie.

“How was today?” her hands shivered and Arnav knew Khushi was nervous like him.

“Busy.” she stopped undoing his tie and looked in his eyes, holding her sob back she spoke,”Are you sick of me? Have you fine...someone...else?” for a moment Arnav stood stunned. What was she thinking?

“No.” he spoke rather loudly.”I love you!” as he confessed he felt follish. A fool running awayy from his destiny.

“But you-”

“-I have been avoiding you.” he frowned then tried to relax his muscles, her hands still on his collar.

“Why?” for a jiffy he was determined to tell her but then a thought stuck him and he imagined Khushi’s eyes red with hate and anger and then he changed mind.

“I had work. busy,”

“I know, but-”

“-I figured if I stayed away from you, you’ll be safe-”


“-But I was wrong. So I came home tonight,” he cleared his throat, “I’ll play piano for khushi...if you still want me to.”

Khushi stayed still for a moment and then nodded.

“I missed you!” he kissed her cheeks but khushi stayed mum not entirely convinced by his lies.

“Your mom is sick…” Khushi spoke after he came back changing into trousers.

“Eah...she’ll be fine.” he avoided eye contact.

“Is she….is she an ad-dict?” Arnav didn’t look at her face, cleched his jaws.


He held her hand pulled her to the next room with him. He made her sit on the single bed in one corner and started playing after settling the small bench near piano. He played in silence. One by one, worries left him and he relaxed feeling, for the moment, the happy and contented.

The love of his life was relaxing so close to him, was there anything else he would want?


After a while, he walked upto Khushi and sat beside her. He held her delicate hand and caressed it. Moving his closer to hers, he waited for her permission and when she closed her eyes, he began snogging her. The kissed for a long time and began undressing each other layer by layer. Khushi felt less shy and more entitled for she had missed like hell and now he was here, closer to her than her own breaths.

She ran her hands on his shoulder as he traveled down to her neck kissing and nibbling, she moaned.

“I love you,” he kissed lips again.

Did she love him too? She wondered as they made love. Was he as important to her as she thought she was to him?  Her mind began fogging up as they reached the climax. He laid beside, so close to her heart. She felt his soft breaths on her chest and bite her lip.

She didn’t love him, she thought to herself. In fact, a part of her hated him.

But what was love, anyway? How would she ever know if was in love with him or not? All the loyalty and protectiveness was gift of marriage. He was her husband and she ought to be those things: loyal and protective. But was love just about loyalty and protectiveness? She raked her brain for answers and found none. Sleep swallowed both of their conscience setting them free from their anxieties and apprehensions.  


This fiction will from now onward have relatively shorter updates. 

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Elitists last part is up!