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Dec 26

DOOMED TO DIE THE MOTHER OF MY SON (By Raani82) (Thanked: 54 times)



MUMBAI - 2018

"Got you! " Adrenalin coursed through Shyam's blood as he tapped the papers on his metal desk. Praised himself for being one hell of a detective, short of patting himself on his own back.

"Jai ho! Jai ho! Jai ho!" He was singing and whistling as he gathered all the papers, in front of him into a pile. "Perseverance! Perseverance! Perseverance! Ha..ha..take that Lavanya"

His hard work has hit pay dirt. He had something to show the old man worth his money. And Shyam felt his wallet growing heavier by the minute.

He had Lavanya's recent travel itineraries and credit card details in his hand. At last he was able to convince the old man and with his influence was able to get her travel documents for the past few months from her travel agent. 

At last he got some clue from those records, all the people she had recently contacted. He wondered what she was up to. At the time when the old Mallik had started to get ideas to search for his grandson, Lavanya had travelled to Dubai with her fiancé and had returned a couple of weeks later. While her fiancé had taken a plane somewhere to Europe on a business trip she returned to India. But surprise, surprise was not to Mumbai or Delhi which was her would be in laws place but she had taken a plane from Dubai to Amritsar. And the same day she had taken a local flight from Amritsar to Pathankot. 

Why? What was her interest in Punjab? Why did she make a stop there? To meet someone? Who? 

Then while checking her credit card details he found out that she had paid some amount to a taxi service. For a moment Shyam thought that her story about the army guy was true, but he dismissed the idea because there were only air force base nearby Amritsar, no army base there. He had sent his men to Pathankot to find out about this taxi service. A couple of days later they sent him all the details he had asked for. Shyam licked his lips in glee. 

Lavanya had taken a taxi from Pathankot airport and the driver of car she had hired distinctively remembered her as the lady who smoked. Shyam smiled. She was not the kind of woman a man could easily forget, smoke or no smoke. For a moment he pitied the taxi driver who sure would have had some sleepless nights dreaming about her. The driver remembered taking her to a restaurant where she met a guy. He remembered because, she asked him to go for sometime and leave them alone in the car. After a couple of hours she returned to the airport. He was asked if he could identify the man, did she mention his name? The driver had said she talked to someone called Arnav a couple of times. He knew the name because she said his name while talking on the phone. She told him to wait in the restaurant and that she was on the way and would join him in few minutes. Shyam wanted to hug and kiss the man. He called Manick chand Mallik. 

"Hello?" Came the old man's voice eager for some news.

"I think I have some good news for you."

That enthusiasm burst like a bubble. "You think?"he was irritated.

"Let me be more specific. Lavanya three months back went to Pathankot."

"Pathankot? What's in Pathankot? My grandson?"

"Not so easy sir..not so easy....she had been there to meet a man called Arnav. Who is Arnav?"

"What?" Shyam heard the choking voice of the old man then nothing for sometime. He thought that the old man had had an attack when he heard the name.

"Hello? Hello? Sir....sir? Are you there?"he asked doubtfully, hoping the old man didn't croak before he got his money.

"Say again?"came the weak voice.

"Your daughter went all the way to Pathankot to meet one Arnav...any idea as to who he is?"asked Shyam.

"Why not?"the old lion growled. "He is the bast.ard son of Manohar. What's he got to do with all this? I have no idea why she would go and meet that fellow there."

"Is that so?" Said Shyam slowly. Now isn't that an interesting piece of information.

"Now wait a minute...Lavanya and Arnav...what could they possibly have in common?"

"That's what I'm going to find out. I'll call you as soon as I find something about him."

With that he cut the call.

He then dug out information about Arnav. Arnav Singh Raizada! The illegitimate son of Manohar, who was involved in the mysterious death of Praneeth Mallik but was never convicted and had disappeared. Praneeth's murder which had happened, around the time his sister had conceived was all clouded in mystery. The real murderer was never found even after all these years. Now why would Lavanya go all the way to Punjab to meet this illegitimate son of Manohar? What was the connection? Where is he now? Is he in Pathankot? He began to circle the name on the paper again and again. What did Lavanya had to do with Arnav? As far as Shyam knew Arnav was a delinquent and Lavanya was a socialite in Mumbai, a rich divorcé, who was planning to marry an uptight businessman from Delhi. Lavanya had nothing in common with Arnav, except that they were both related to the meanest son of a bi.tch..Manohar Panikar. Born wealthy, he was third in line to a family who had lands and fields across the state. Always insecure and mean. He was like a street thug, more than a guy who was born with a silver spoon. Why would Lavanya bother to see Arnav after all these years? He had also found out that Arnav had been helping the police with information about some drug dealers. Did Lavanya know about that and employ him? For what?  To check on her boy friend? was too coincidental, her meeting with Arnav and Shyam didn't believe in coincidences. Did they share a secret? Did he know about the kid? He stopped drawing and began to concentrate so hard that his head began to ache. 

He thought he was down and out when he was running around like a headless chicken, clueless as to where to go and whom to approach regarding the adoption details. The search for Akshay Saxena's employees was a dead end. He was able to locate nearly eighty of them who were still working in the company that had bought Saxena's company. He was able to trace many of them who had retired or gone to work in many other firms. Then he left that thread of evidence as he thought it was a futile search. But still he could not get any information on th two girls who had worked as his secretaries. One name was Ritu Khanna and the other was Kushi Kumari Gupta. At least there were one or two who said they were in contact with Ritu for few years after the company changed hands but lost touch with her later. But nobody had any idea about Kushi. He was still looking for her. Her name was too common. He had found out that she had left Mumbai at the time when the baby was born before Akshay's death. Did she know about Saxena's income tax frauds and scams the ED was investigating? Is that why she disappeared? From the files she looked very young. From what he heard about Saxena, she could have been his girl friend. Did she know everything about him? About the baby....about the money he received? Did she know who the mother of the baby was? Would she have any idea about the people who had adopted the baby? Or is she the one who had gone away with the baby? Is that why she disappeared without leaving a trace? Oh hell! You are losing it Shyam Manohar Jha! But he was not ready to give up. He rounded kushi's name again  and again. She just might know something. But he couldn't find out about her or her family. Her parents in Lucknow were dead. Her aunt and cousin she was with were also no more. He found out that she had a sister named....Preeti? Priya? Hmmmm Payal! Yes Payal somebody....He dropped that line of thought. He didn't bother talking to Payal because Kushi had worked for only a year for Akshay and she barely looked a teenager...what would she do with the baby? 

He would leave it there right now because this interesting lead about Lavanya and the infamous bast.ard has come up. He decided to concentrate on Arnav. He would contact his friend to find out about Arnav Singh Raizada, get his phone number and try to call him and talk to him. He dropped that idea immediately. No he would pay him a visit, meet him face to face and  get the truth out of him. "Arnav Singh Raizada....I'm coming....and you would never know what hit you after I've grilled you..." Shyam thought rubbing his hands gleefully. He must share his news with his silent partner. She might give him some insight about Arnav.

Arnav Singh Raizada! His story must be interesting....very interesting!

Manickchand Mallik got out from the car to go into his house, cursing the steady fall of drizzle. When did this rain become a nuisance in Mumbai? He thought. He had never bothered about the monsoons and the havoc they caused each year in the city, except that they caused inconveniences.  But now he was unable to bear the chill winds it brought with it. He felt uneasy ever since he got the call from Shyam. He didn't know whether to be elated or to despair hearing the news from him. Arnav was always bad news to him. He felt that Mano's bast.ard son always brought misery to his family. If not for him his son Praneeth would still be alive. He thought about his son, "Why? Why? Why? Oh god! Why him?" He thought about his father whose shoes he had filled eagerly. Ever since the doctor had talked to him about his deteriorating health, he thought about his father often. What would he have done in this situation? What did Arnav have to do with all this? He hung his head in weariness. Stand firm! Stand firm! He said to himself. They had withered many a storm in their lifetime. This too would pass. Stand firm! Stay the course! He said to himself. For the first time since he wanted to find his grandson he felt a coming of doom, a sense of reckoning, he hadn't expected, which spread a chill in the marrow of his bones. Whatever Shyam uncovered he would be able to brave the storm just like he had faced personal tragedies before. But how much ever  he talked to himself he was convinced that his search for his grandson was going to open a Pandora box , releasing chaos. He heard the distant temple bells chime and sent a silent prayer in his mind which had blessed him all these seventy odd years, but now all he heard was the discordant ring of ruin in his ears.

Dec 31

DOOMED TO DIE THE MOTHER OF MY SON (By Raani82) (Thanked: 53 times)



MUMBAI - 2018

"I don't know what you are talking about." Said Lavanya looking at Mukund. Who was starring right at her across her table. In spite of his thick mane , she noticed that his hairline had started receding, he looked tired, and Lavanya thought he had lost lots of weight since the last time she had seen him. When was it? A year back. She attributed it to marital problems she thought. Sheetal had told her his marriage was on rocks and from the family gossip, she heard that  he was thinking of divorce from his pencil thin wife. But his father would not hear about it and even threatened him of writing him out of the will. Lavanya dismissed all these talks as just malicious gossip and nothing else. 

"Don't play dumb with me Lavanya.... Even if you did...I can read you like a book..."

"Can you?"

"Look I know what you are trying to do here..."

"I'm not doing anything.."

"I know about the baby..."said Mukund in a tortured voice.

"That's not an earth shattering news...anymore...the whole family knows about it...Shyam and my dad has seen to that..."

"Yes...You could have told me about the baby Lavanya..."said Mukund.

"And ...what would you have done?" Asked Lavanya drily. They were sitting in a posh restaurant in Pedar Road having dinner. 

"God! We were friends remember?"

"That's why you set me up with Akash."she asked anger in her eyes.

Mukund's head hung in shame. "I'm sorry was all Praneeth's idea...and we just went by it. You know how he manipulated everybody..."

"You both knew I had a crush on took advantage of that...and he watched us..." Lavanya's face went pink with embarrassment and anger. "God what all I did  that night to get him interested in me....what more I would have done..."she shook her head as if to erase all those bad memories. 

"Praneeth...always liked to watch..."Mukund said softly. Then looked at her, "I was not there...La...if that is of any comfort to you... I couldn't meet your eyes and talk to you knowing very well that I was also part of all that had happened that night. I'm sorry...I'm really sorry..."

"If Praneeth was the one who planned all this then what made you and Akash to comply with his plan..."

"I loved him La..."

"Of course we all loved ...."she said and stopped short when she saw that Mukund's handsome face looked pained.

Lavanya almost dropped the wine glass she was holding in her hand, "What? You? You? You and Praneeth...?"she clamped her hand over her mouth, as if to stop herself from being sick. He nodded, "I would have done anything for him..."

He was still looking at the table unable to look at her. "I loved him...but ...he never..." He took a gulp from his glass, "so I tried very hard to be accepted by be loved by him...I did everything he asked me to....just to get his nod of appreciation...just to get his attention on me..."

"When you two moved away from me...I thought it was all an adolescent macho didn't want to include girls in your I were sickos..."

"Please La...don't..."

"And I was just a pawn in all your perverted sick games...?" Lavanya glared at him angrily.

"I tried to stop him....and we argued for the first time...I left the guest house saying that we shouldn't be away from the party for long...and a week later he was dead...I ..I just couldn't forgive myself..."

She drained her glass and got up to go. She couldn't sit there and listen to him talk about his love affair. But when she saw his pathetic look on his face, she sat down. After all they had grown up together and had been friends the best part of her life. She sat down and took his hand in her palm. "Listen Mukund..nothing happened that night...whatever happened , it happened stop feeling guilty."

"I'm sorry La..."

She bit back her retort, sorry was a very simple word when compared to the humiliation she suffered that night and months after.

"But who is the father?"

"No one you know... That doesn't matter now...all you have to do now is make sure that the child isn't found now...if he is...then your life my life, his life ....everything will be ruined..."

"I don't care about being next in line of running this empire...or whatever you call it... That was Praneeth's role....he should have inherited it..."

"I heard that you are planning your divorce.... Is it true?"she asked.

He nodded, "I tried very hard to change myself. Samy is a a good girl....but we both had our reasons for marrying.... I was a fool and listened to my father who wanted to settle his debts with her father, she married me thinking that one day I would own all this...nothing much between us....but you know everything, isn't it? You even know where your boy is...don't you?"

She couldn't trust him...with the secret of her life

"No!" She lied "I don't and I pray to god that I never do?"

Couple of days later she was at Akash's apartment. In the beginning as soon as the niceties were over, when the conversation began in the familiar note she felt it was a repeat performance of what happened two days earlier with Mukund but soon it took a different turn..

"No one knows who the father is..." Akash said looking at her intensely.

He knew...Oh God! She needed a cigarette.

"Everyone bought your lie La...until now. Until Shyam began nosing around and around that there was no  Shaurya the whole family is guessing who La was sleeping with... " His nostrils flared in anger as if he knew something .

"What.... are you talking about?" Her stomach clenched.

"I know the real reason you don't want the baby found. It is not about Raj and your intentions of marrying again... Nope..."he looked at her with intense. Her insides crumbled. Did he know? How?

"This goes deeper isn't it?"

How had he known? Her world was falling apart and she didn't have the damn cigarette to calm her nerves and think clearly.

"I'm surprised you didn't tell me...I could have helped." Here was the old Akash she thought, the hero of her childhood, her first crush, who was ready to help her take the blame for all her wild mischiefs and got beaten by his father. 

"I couldn't tell anyone. " She whispered, thinking even now to protect her secret. 

"But it was my responsibility La shouldn't have borne all the shame alone."

"Your what?"

Lavanya looked confused. She knew she was missing something. Something vital.

"I know when the baby was born...the time he was don't have to pretend...not to me...oh God! This is damn difficult....I know the baby is mine."

"Yours? You think the baby is yours?" She whispered, more relieved than surprised.

"From the night in the guest house."


"No?" It was his turn tyo be stunned and confused

"I'm telling you it was Shaurya..."

"Bull La...I was there..."

"Do you even remember what happened that night? "

"Yes...I lived with it all these years." He looked pained and ran his fingers through his hair uncomfortably. Finally straightening himself and sinking in the sofa, with  his head in his hands. "God! La...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry! Mukund, Praneeth and I ..."

"Were are all sickos....I know.. "She said gritting her teeth. She didn't need to be reminded of her humiliation in their hands. 

But it is more than that. 

"I was forced to do all know....they were brothers and were very close....I wanted to be accepted by them...oh god!"

So, he didn't  know about Mukund. "Go on..." said La sick to her stomach. "You were ready to do he could watch...?"

"I argued with him...I protested.."

"But still you went along..."the old pain climbing up her throat threatening to choke her. She couldn't hide the condemnation and anger in her voice.

"Did you have any idea that I was in love with you?" She saw his shoulders slump, "did you?"

"Yes! We all did."he whispered his voice tortured

"And still you did this? "

"For them...I know all this sounds so stupid and weak now...but at that don't know how much I wanted to please them...Praneeth especially..."

"Even if you hurt me."

He looked at her with tears in his eyes, "Believe me I didn't want to hurt you at all..... Cause you any kind of my own way I did love you...I loved you like I love Anjali....I saw you as my little sister nothing just wasn't what you wanted it to be...they convinced me....and eventually I agreed..Praneeth thought it would be a good idea.." her stomach curdled. "To turn your attention away from Arnav and think about me...I knew about Praneeth's weird....habits.."

"So you performed before him like a trained puppy ?" she started backing away, furious, her fists clenched, her fingers digging into her palms, her eyes spitting fire, "you spineless"

"You don't understand...I wanted to be in their midst... accepted by them...I cared for you....but that need to be accepted by them was greater...I would have done anything he asked..."

"You were all sick.." She whispered, not believing what she was hearing, silently praying he would stop. She looked at Akash, and she realised that he had been carrying the guilt and he needed her forgiveness. Bile climbed up her throat. She nearly wretched. All the disjointed puzzle pieces of her youth, her friendship with Mukund and Praneeth,   neatly fell in to place. Mukund and Praneeth were lovers, they made use of her love to Akash..and Akash's weakness and led her to believe that she could make him respond to her attraction. Oh god!

"I wanted them to accept me....just like you wanted me to love you..." Akash desperately tried to convince her.

"Stop..stop it! I don't want to hear this"she said backing away. She died inside, remembering how much she loved him as a girl and how she had always been thinking that if he hadn't been her cousin, if they had met in some other circumstances they could have made a life together. Why hadn't she known? And how they would have laughed at her naive and simple attempts to seduce Akash to make him love her. 

"I got drunk...I knew they would be watching...that's why I didn't..."

She remembered seeing Praneeth with a glass in his hand, "lurking. You mean..."she shouted , nearly hysterical. She remembered how she had felt that night, that something was not right when she was alone with Akash.

"That's why I couldn't do anything that night,"he was opening up as if  he was in a confession chamber, unveiling his heart to a priest. 

She remembered that night at the guest house how anxious she was to get Akash to love her. She relived all the humiliation and pain, all the sick perverted embarrassment,

"My brother was lurking there behind the doors getting his jollies by peeping on his own sister..."

"He was like that I later realised....he would do everything outside what his father considered acceptable... " Akash looked weary and his voice shook with emotion.

"So to please him you would do anything ..."realising the callousness, the real malice behind their plan. 

Akash cried. "I realise what a fool I had been...that I could treat a girl ...not any girl...but the girl I really cared about...the one I wouldn't hurt in my lifetime. That's why he wanted  me to do that to you...not with any sense of nobility in his part ...he wasn't setting me up because he knew you loved me...." Now there was anger in his voice, "the reason behind all this was to confirm my utter allegiance to him, "

"That sick???" Lavanya asked sadly.

Akash nodded, "Yes...he was doing this so that he can wield his power, over was all about control and power....sorry...La..."his face lowered, eyes narrowed in sadness, "he never cared for any of us..."

"So you agreed..?"

"Oh god yes...I drank so much so that I wouldn't hurt you and convinced myself that that is what you wanted...what Praneeth wanted..and it didn't was just s.ex between people who cared for each other...and ...oh god! I didn't want it to happen..." he buried his face in his hands and cried.

"It didn't.. "Lavanya said, realizing that just like her he had also been a victim.

"Of course it did.."

"No Akash..." she said still caring for him enough that she didn't want him to suffer for the crime he hadn't committed.

She went and sat next to him, and held his hand. He stiffened. He could have hurt her by his actions but he didn't father her child.

"Liar! "He accused her.

"Do you remember what happened that night?"

"Most of it...what I didn't remember Praneeth filled in later in the morning after I woke up."

"And he told you that you and I ...that we..?"


"Oh!"she pulled his head against her. "He lied. You didn't do it. Either you were too drunk or...were not interested in me.. I tried to get you into the mood...then I went to the wash room confused by your behaviour and when I came out..that's when I heard your voices...I took off before any of you saw me...of course  i confronted him the next day and Praneeth and I  had a fight of the century ."

"And I woke up...naked...starring at Praneeth's smiling face...he said I had done well, just as he had expected, and that you were also happy. I hoped then that I finally had done something that pleased him and that I  would  be accepted in his midst...but he just walked away. After that he was just stringing me along, playing with my emotions. God! I deserved that. He treated me like I treated you. And within a week...within a week he was dead! "He cried. "Now I realise after all these years that you had a baby nine months after that night..."

"Nothing happened and you are not the father...." she took his face in her hands, "believe are not the father."

"Oh god! La...I have been such a fool...I..f***ed up whatever little we had between us...

I'm surprised that you even talk to me..."

"You called me here..remember"she said smiling.

"So you know who the father is and where the boy is?"

She said the same answer what she told Mukund, "No...I don't know where the boy is....and pray to God he is never found.."

Jan 5

DOOMED TO DIE THE MOTHER OF MY SON (By Raani82) (Thanked: 60 times)



PILANI - 2018

"Hmmmm..."said Arnav living the tips of his fingers, "your mother can really cook..."he said to Anish, eyeing the various dishes on the table. Spring rolls and sauce for the starters then katchori with two different chatnis, followed by different parathas, dhal, rice, raitha , pickle and lassi, followed by hot carrot halwa on icecream. 

"Watch it Anish! Arnav is piling it all so high on his plate.... You might not get anything to eat...if you are so slow..."said Kushi smiling.

"Ma..?"said Anish laughing, delighted as always to see her out of her 'I'm the mom..I know everything" sort of mode. 

"It's okay...I did pile it up... You see there was a problem with the dinner.."Arnav said smirking.

"Oh really!"she looked at him straight in his eyes arching her eyebrows high, daring him to find fault with her master piece of a meal. Ever since Anish told her Arnav was coming she started to plan the meal  and working on it for days though she wouldn't admit it and saw to it that it came out perfect. Foolish woman! Her inner voice reprimanded.

"There wasn't enough food!" Said Arnav looking around.

Anish nearly choked on his lassi.

"Not enough?" Kushi leaned her elbows on the table , with her chin on her hands as she looked at him. 

"Well I thought you were going to feed the whole town ...and I wouldn't have something left for me.."

"Very funny...ha..ha..ha.." Said Kushi eyes sparkling

Arnav took a tooth pick from the tray and picked from the corner of the mouth, "I thought so..."

"Me too."Anish agreed.

" are siding with him so that you'll have a partner on your side when we battle..."she stood up with false anger.

"Okay...okay ..."she smiled, "let's not argue...." She laughed in the end.

This was the first birthday in many years when Anish and Kushi had company. Payal had just come couple of times when he was very small. Never an aunt or a uncle or a brother or a sister or a grandparent , or a cousin for her boy...nor a father..just the two of them. Sometimes it was too much for her, sometimes she was proud that they had made it on their own. Today it was different. She simply loved having Arnav over. She even bought scented candles and flowers and had ordered a special cake for Anish's sixteenth birthday, Arnav came early and helped with the decorations, before Anish came from school. She had gifted her son an iPhone and he was so happy . After a long long time she was content. All the nagging doubts and fear and restlessness was at bay that day and inspite of the humidity and sultry weather outside she felt comfortable and safe inside. Anish's friends had left earlier after having early dinner and three of them took their time eating and talking and laughing. Arnav had given Anish the latest Xbox 360 I-BT and Anish's happiness knew no bounds. He and his friends explored it all evening before they left reluctantly. 

"Let's continue the game ..."he said with added enthusiasm taking the dessert in his hands and getting up. 

"But first help me clear up..."said Kushi, lifting two bowls at a time turning towards the kitchen.

"Amma..."protested Anish, "it is my birthday! "

"I'll help.."stood up Arnav.

"No are our guest.."said Anish,

"That is right...please don't trouble yourself..."said Kushi horrified that he was carrying his own plate.

"I'm used to doing all this is no big deal..."said Arnav, collecting his plate and silver ware.

"Amma leave it for today...aunty will come tomorrow to clean up..."said Anish, he looked at Arnav and said, "it is not man's work..."

"You know better than that..." Kushi muttered giving him a stern look.

"It is...if you are lucky enough to have a woman to take care of all that stuff...and even then you better be careful..."Arnav said waving a spoon in his son's direction, "because some women will take offense to describing  some work as theirs... especially when it comes to kitchen duties...they get very testy about it....I won't say I blame them..."he said. Anish looked horrified as he collected his mother's plate and his as well.


"Be careful Anish... And smart as well..." Arnav advised. "Your mother has taken so much trouble to make this day so special for you ...least we can do is help her in this..."

"So now you are an expert on family relations?" Kushi asked as she turned towards the kitchen with hands full.  Anish eyed him strangely.

"Is this what your mom taught you...or your dad?" Asked Anish curious by his actions Kushi stopped in her stride and turned to look at him. A sadness passed over his face  as he walked towards the kitchen sink, passed her quietly, dropped the plates turned the tap washed his hands and went for the towel. Anish walked in with some bowls and placed them on the kitchen counter. But when Arnav looked up the familiar mask which they were so used to had fallen in place.

"My mother..."he said softly, that Kushi could hardly hear. Anish and Kushi looked at him, "but that was years mother doesn't talk to me..."he said sadly. Kushi felt a sudden ache for him. So there was another side to this hard edged man. So there was a softer side to him a side where it hurt, that part of him which he kept hidden from others.

"Why not?" Anish asked.

"Because of something I had done long long time ago.."

"What...did you..."

"Anish..its none of our business.." Said Kushi as she began to empty the big vessels of the leftovers into smaller ones.

"That's okay..."Arnav said as he leaned on the sink. Anish came near him his gaze glued to Arnav.

"My father was a jerk....a meanest person of highest order...if there was one... He never married my fact he was married to another woman and he cheated on his wife and kept coming to my mother, and cheating on my mother with his wife."his gaze on the floor, his hands in his pockets he remained quiet for few minutes.

Kushi knew he was lost in his thoughts, trapped in his forbidden memories. 

"I couldn't it take it any more and had it out with him one day. My mother....she took his side...."his jaw clenched in anger, "she stood by him...even though he beat her and abused here every time and treated her like scum." He said the last words in disgust as if they tasted bad.  "You asked me once if I had murdered any body.."his gaze shifted from Kushi to his son. Kushi froze in fear.

"Yeah..."said Anish fear creeping in his voice.

"Well I didn't lie...I never killed anyone in my life... But I came close to shooting to death the man who was my father.... Aimed a gun right at him...but  I missed..."

"Oh my God!"said Anish. Kushi looked at him mouth open. She held on to the kitchen counter tightly for support. Inside she was shaking. "Hhey devi mayya!" She whispered.

"And you never talked to her after that?" Anish asked.

"I tried...but it was one way street...I stopped...let's not talk about it."

"When was the last time you saw her?" Anish asked unable to stop.

"The day I left the house...long time ago."

"What if she needs help? What if she falls sick? What if..."

"I have some one who keeps me informed about her and who takes care of her..."he coughed

Arnav felt stupid. What was he doing opening up to them as if to garner their sympathy. He saw Kushi who was almost in tears. " did he have to talk about his hateful past and disturb their day. He was making a mess of things. What made him open up like this? He was lulled into this sense of if being a part of a real family...when all he had come there was to break apart their family. 

"I..I should be leaving..."

"But...the sweet..."motioning towards the cooling carrot halwa that stood on a huge bowl.

"And you were going to teach me how to play poker..."

Arnav could feel the disappointment in his son's voice. Kushi tried to hide her own sense of loss but it was in her eyes. They were upset that the mood had completely changed within a matter of minutes. He looked at them through the thick shield which he often wore as a mask.

"Some other's late ..." He walked towards the door. "Thanks!" He said. "Thanks for the wonderful dinner. Thanks for everything." He said and it sounded like  a final exit line. And it was. 

He was getting too close to Kushi and Anish. All the trimmings of a family, juice and cakes and candles and flowers and rich meal and laughter and jokes and games, flashing smiles and disappointments. His insides churned. For a moment he became the boy from slums of Mumbai....a boy with no grand parents, no family, a mother who s****ed by working eighteen hours a day. He had loved the woman who had fiercely fought for him, and had cursed her when she had chosen his father over her own son. That searing pain shot through his soul and cursed the family that used and abused him.

"Arnav don't go...."Kushi's voice wrapped around him like a soothing balm.

"Yeah stay... it's my birthday....please!" Anish said, his son, his own flesh and blood, but no one knew it and it would be better if it stayed this way. If he really cared for his son, put his well being before anything else, he would walk out now and never look back. He would go to Mumbai. He would meet Manick Chand Mallik and tell him the truth. Tell him that he is the father to his grandson and that would hit the fan if he even searched for him and tried to bring him back into his family. He would dare him that if he still insisted on finding his son, the old man  Mallik would have to go through Arnav and he would create such a big scandal that he would never be able to raise his head again amongst the social elite. He would have to listen to him. He would tell him it would be better for everybody concerned that he left his son alone. Mallik would not dare pursue his plan again. He would have to ask Shyam Manohar Jha to stop. Anish would never know  and Kushi would be safe.

"Bye!"he said.

"Good night!" Kushi said softly. Arnav looked at the sad beautiful eyes and a look of utter disappointment and disillusionment in his son's gaze.

"Good night!"

Anish looked at him confused. Then rushed forward and held his hand holding the door. Bare skin to bare skin. He froze. His brows furrowed in concentration. Then looked at Arnav, "You are leaving?"he asked softly.


Kushi looked at them confused. Arnav remained quiet.

"I mean you are really leaving.....not...just for today." Asked Anish tearfully. 

"Eventually I have to move on...I can't stay here forever.."Arnav said.



Kushi stumbled backwards in shock almost toppling the chair next to her. A strangled cry escaped her throat. She quickly turned away as if to adjust the chair.

Arnav? Leaving? Why? Where? Her hands began to shiver. Arnav's insides curled in disgust when he recognised the pain he caused her.

"You were planning to leave without telling us? Why?" She choked.

"Its about time."he said quietly.

"When?" Anish was relentless his voice choking with emotion. Arnav couldn't look at his son in distress.

"Yes....I'll be leaving in a couple of days....back to where I belong...I was...."

"You said said... You cheater..!" Anish's tone had changed to anger now., backing away from him as he opened the door

Arnav looked at the door, unable to face them, his face devoid of any emotions. He had thought it over and over again and had come out with the best possible solution that will put an end to all their problems. He turned away and slammed the door. And stood looking at the dark sky, reflecting his dark mood and life. "You are right son! Oh you sure as hell are so very right!" He said and walked away.

Jan 11

DOOMED TO DIE THE MOTHER OF MY SON (By Raani82) (Thanked: 49 times)



PILANI - 2018

"You....creep....low life..."came the mean familiar voice behind him while drinking water from the cooler. He had just returned from the grounds and had waited patiently for his turn to drink water before rushing to class. He turned to face his nemesis.

"Leave Mayuri alone!" Karan said walking towards him.

Anish looked around, the area was deserted. He froze. "Stand up for yourself! Stand up for yourself! Don't let him push you around!"he said to himself when he saw Karan coming towards him like an enraged bull, nostrils flared, eyes gleaming, hands flaying. "I'll do what I please..."he said quietly, "You can't tell me what to do!" 

Some boys began to whisper spreading the news sensing there was a fight in the air. All Anish wanted to do was run as fast as he could. 

"She doesn't want to do anything with a mental like you...nobody does.." Karan snarled. Anish for the first time didn't believe him. He had received a note ....just a small note that was tucked deep into his pocket. And no one ...not even Karan with his devil like expression could change his mind. He was in high spirits and Karan was not going to ruin that.

"Stop disturbing her..." Karan growled surprised by his retort.

"I'm not disturbing her...why don't you ask her if I'm disturbing her....and by the way who are you to tell me what to do?" Anish was not ready to let go, Karan was going to be surprised. Anish had been putting up a tough exterior that had surprised everyone, and all of ASR's training was going to be put to test, he thought. Even if he lost tthis round, Karan was going to have his beaten out of him that he would think twice before facing him. He had some movements up his sleeve that was going to surprise Karan he thought.

"You S. O. B. If I ever see you talking to her....I'll beat you to dead!"he growled.

"Oh really? You wouldn't dare..." Anish put up a brave front. Nothing was going to spoil the day for him. After ASR had walked out of his door , five days earlier, he was feeling miserable and cheated. He couldn't believe that he would leave him and go away just like the old man Rat****. And Arnav had promised that he would be there for him. He was so angry  and disappointed and he controlled his urge to cross the fence and go to feed the dog and look at the horses. And that afternoon, during recess, Mayuri had passed a note to him with her phone number written on it. He looked up at her smiling, she smiled back, gesturing with her hands on her ear, mouthing to call her. Anish nodded, feeling himself floating on the ninth cloud. After so many days he felt happy and he was not going to let anybody take away that happiness, especially the thug like Karan.

"What? You are throwing a challenge at me?" Asked Karan angrily.

"Yep! You are afraid..."

"Afraid? Afraid of you...mental ?" Said Karan voice raising.

"Yes... because you feel inferior... "

"What are you talking...inferior? To you? You have really gone nuts..."

"Showing off and pushing around as if you know everything when everybody knows you have brains that are as small as your pinky finger. You are scared that no girl will look at your fatso face....and talk to a rogue like you..." Boys around began to snigger, Karan's face turned red. 

"That's it've gone too far.." Karan screamed.

"If you don't stop now I'll tell more..."

"You liar!"

"You steal small things like pens and erasers and chewing gums from Misraji's shop..."

"That's bull"

"You want more... You go to Rohan's internet cafe to watch dirty stuff..." There was a loud gasp around and Karan turned even more red. "And then you tho back home

and ..." They heard giggles around them. "Shut up..." Whispered Karan gritting his teeth.

"You are done and out Mehta...just leave..." Said Anish. Karan's nostrils flared even more, eyes emitted fury as his eyes narrowed and eyebrows became one, 

even before Anish could react, Karan tried to punch him on his jaws. Anish ducked and got up dancing on the balls of his feet as Karan's fisted hands came flailing on all sides. Anish quickly dodged, but one hand landed on his shoulder, causing less damage. He quickly gave two punches on Karna's ribs and moved back, ready for the next assault when he landed on Gagan's toes who pushed him forward towards Karan and Anish lost balance and fell. Karan came at him like a raging bull, but Anish was ready for him this time. He swung his legs and tripped him. Karan fell down with a thud, hitting the back of his head on the cooler. Karan got up mad with fury his face flushed pink with embarrassment. 

"You...bast...ard.... I'll kill you..."he said gritting his teeth and went at Anish, "Crack!" Karan's fist landed on Anish's jaw. Pain jolted on him like lightening on his spine. "Bam!"one hard blow on his stomach Anish doubled over and fell in pain. Anish tried very hard to defend himself but Karan was way stronger and heavier. He caught Anish by his collar and dragged him inside the boy's urinals. 

""screamed Anish knowing what was about to come. He kicked and punched but was losing. He tried to loosen himself from his grip like a slippery eel but of no avail.

The bell rang for the next class and his screams were drowned by the ringing bell. Karan dumped Anish's head in one of the urinals and turned on the flush. Anish couldn't breathe, the smell of urine made him faint and when the water gushed he was gasping for breath. He coughed and spluttered. He began to flay his hands and legs. 

"You time think twice before talking back to me and hitting me..." Karan screamed, as he kicked him between his legs. Anish screamed, as his lungs gasped for air.  Karan pulled his head away, and dumped him again in the next one and pressed the flush again. Anish couldn't breathe...his head felt light and he felt like he was floating. It was then he saw it. The picture of Karan gasping for air fighting to keep his ahead above water, coughing and crying, his lungs filling with water.

They heard whispers around when other smaller boys began to gather around them. Karan let go of Anish. Anish lay down on the bathroom floor and began to cough and choke, then he whispered gasping, "It's going to happen to you..."

"What is going to happen to me?" Karan laughed.

"I saw are calling for help...and there will be no one.. You are the one who is going to drown..."

"You think you can scare me?" Karan laughed his face turning even more pink.

"Yes ....I'm are under water....calling for help and there is no one to help you ...out..." Anish said still starring at him trying to convince him

"You S.O.B. I'm not scared okay...just shut up...just shut the f....up..."Karan screamed.

"It is true..."shouted Anish. "Karan.. it is going to happen..."

"No it is are lying..."Karan gave him one punch on his face. Anish tried to duck but was too tired and seconds late. His lips tore and blood began to ooze down.

"A lake...a river... Or.." Anish gave up...too tired...the vision leaving...still coughing and gasping for breath. Suddenly the room changed. Anish looked around...the boys were clearing and some running quickly back to their classes.

"What is happening here? Why are you all out of your classes?" They heard the tough voice of the vice Principal. The younger boys scattered and ran off. 

The older man looked at the two boys in anger and disgust. "You it again....walk to the Principal's office.."

Karan moved away his face still pink and flushed and mad with anger. "You are finished..."he gestured moving his fingers across his neck. Anish got up soaked to the skin and dripping, walked behind them. He came out of the boy's toilet and rounded the corner to climb down the stairs when he looked up and saw her. She was standing along with her friends to enter the computer lab and all of them turned to look at the VP marching past them and the two boys behind him. Anish felt mortified. He wanted to die right there. He couldn't lift his head up to meet her eyes. "No...oh God why? Her gaze fell on Anish and she bit her lip, looking down.

He heard her friends laughing. "Taking a shower?"one of them asked.

"Probably he remembered just now that he had forgotten to take one in the morning...I guess..."the others giggled. "I heard he took a drink from the urinal..."

"Girls ...keep quiet..."came Mayuri's embarrassed whisper. But all the girls laughed. He felt so ashamed. His shirt was completely wet and his hair was all over his face dripping with water. His face bloodied. He must look a pathetic sight he thought. 

"Poor guy...he didn't see this coming for him...all these visions what good are they.."one sniggered.

"He sees for others only..." The other one said, enjoying others being the brunt of her jokes. 

"Hmmmm.. Now the same old drama...he will go running to mamma and mamma will come running...tomorrow..."

There was a peal of laughter.

Anish prayed that the Earth would open up and swallow him whole. Every bit of pride he had left, every bit of self respect he had had been flushed away. Mayuri simply starred at him and he refused to meet her eyes. He knew in his heart that he would never find the guts to call her....not now, after Karan Mehta had stripped him off his dignity. A lot of good ASR's lessons had done him, he thought ruefully. He scowled in anger as he thought about Arnav. He didn't want to think about him. That man was leaving town, walking out on them as if he didn't give a damn. As if Anish and his mother didn't care. Grinding his teeth in anger, he decided the less he thought about Arnav the better. But he couldn't help feeling that he had been betrayed. The same feeling he had felt when the old man Rat**** had died. Except that this was worse. Only the old man hadn't had  any choice when he left, but ASR had a choice.

Jan 16

DOOMED TO DIE THE MOTHER OF MY SON (By Raani82) (Thanked: 33 times)



PILANI - 2018

Kushi tried very hard not to think about Arnav when she was nearing her gate, but was helpless knowing she had lost her heart to him and he was leaving town. Just when she was learning to trust again , just when she started to think about love and living for herself, just when she was thinking of joy and elation of having someone for yourselves, Arnav was taking off. Pathetic. She muttered to herself. The gates were open and she heard Toughy, yelping from inside and saw Anish sitting on the steps.

"Hey devi mayya! Please ...Don't tell me!" Kushi got out of the car slamming the door shut, came rushing towards her son horrified at seeing his face swollen, bloodied, his shirt dirty and half wet, sticking to his skin and hair in a mess. She was tired from day's work yet fire raged within her when her eyes met her son's dark sullen ones.

"I won't..."muttered Anish.

"It's Karan...isn't it?"she asked.


"Do I want to know what happened.."

Anish nodded his head. "the good thing is he is rusticated.... I'm not.....and I didn't lose any teeth.." Anish said and Kushi looked at him curiously, expecting more to come, "And the bad news?"

"The bad thing is I got my cra.p kicked out of me and  I'm never going back to school....ever..."

"Anish you can't..."

"Yes ma....that's final...I'm not going to school..."he stood up with all daggers drawn before his mother could even protest against his decision. She decided not to argue with him. He needed to work that out himself and so did she. She wanted  so badly to call the principal, the police, Arnav ...somebody....anybody....for help. To be her son's ally in this ongoing battle. 

But instead she held on tightly to her rapidly fleeing patience. She kept her laptop bag on the step "Tell me what happened." she asked in a quiet voice, when she wanted to rant and rave in fury.

"There is nothing much to tell.."he tried to shrug it away.

"I want information Anish.."

"Karan was angry that I was talking to Mayuri....

"Who is she?"

"Oh ! She is my class mate..."

"His friend?"

"In his dreams..."he sniggered.

Kushi sighed. She was furious but held back her tongue. She had known for sometime that he had a crush on some girl but never knew who.


"So....we got into an argument....then a fight...and..." Anish turned his head away avoiding her. "Oh man...."

"I want to know everything!" She said still controlling her anger which was ready to erupt any moment as she opened the door and kept her things on the tea table.  Anish sighed, crossed his arms and reluctantly gave a full blow by blow account of all that had happened that afternoon in school. His face turning pink in embarrassment.

"I can't believe it....I just can't believe it..."she said, thinking how mortified her son would have felt.

"Yeah ...even though I was in a fight with him, there were kids all around who sided me  and told the Principal the truth that I was at no fault and it was Karan who started it."

Of course sir didn't believe it at first...because he thinks there is always a way to avoid fights....but because of past history... He gave in and expelled Karan for a week. I think he is going to call his dad....and he might be expelled."

"Good! Very good!" Kushi had enough of it. Even though she felt bad for the Mehta kid that things were not going right on his end, she couldn't accept the fact that he picked on younger kids. "I'm going to right a complaint against him and going to tell his father..."

"No...!"shouted Anish vehemently.

"But Anish.."

"What good did it do before? You even talked to the Inspector... And ASR...he ..."his eyes teared up. "He went to the Mehta's house and all it did was more beating for Karan and he took it out all"

"He is there are kids who will tell what happened.....and if matters get worse then it is only right that people should know that that policemen is abusing his kid and law should take its course."

"No...he will kill me..."

"I'm not going to let this go..."she turned to go angrily.

"Where are you going?" Anish shouted back.

"To the school of course....I'm going to meet the Principal.."

"No you won't..." Anish glared at her. "You just stay out of this.."

"I can't..."

"The school is handling this..."

"I am not going to sit here and watch that boy beat up my boy...."

"You will not go and complain....I ...mean it ma..." He said with deadly calm, his voice was so soft and angry that scared Kushi for a second.

"If you go into that school and complain or call the inspector... It will only be worse."

"Anish this is going to go on and on "

"The Principal is handling it and he will call need not do anything about it...already other students are looking at me as a coward and a freak...if you go it will only make matters worse....and besides ..."Anish licked his lips and hesitated, "I have this feeling that Karan is going  to get into lot of trouble."

"Because of his father?"asked Kushi.

"I don't's really serious..."

"Hey devi mayya...what?"she asked

He shook his head, "Just leave it alone....besides it doesn't matter any more....because I'm not going to step inside that school...ever..." He said with finality.

"O course you are..."

"No amma ...I am not... going to that school from tomorrow..."he said with such gritty determination that she almost believed him. 

"You will change your mind..."

"No...I won't...never...ever..not after today."he said eyes narrowing, as if he wished to continue the fight with her. He then turned put the leash on Toughy's collar and walked out of the back door with the dog happily running behind him.

Kushi stood there firm on her feet her fingers curled on the edge of her dining table in a death grip. She wanted to run behind him and continue the argument and settle the matter here and now but thought it was only wise to let the matters be. She needed to give him time  and space to think over . They'll both talk over it during dinner when both had calmed down. But she was sick inside, angry to her bones. Slowly but steadily the baby she had adopted fifteen years ago was slowly slipping away through her fingers. It didn't matter now  her son's nightmares... Or visions had not come true. The man they had feared never showed up. But just as clearly he was being ripped away from her by his growing up. And she wasn't ready. But he was right about one thing. She couldn't continue treating him like he was seven.

She opened the back door and stood there curling her hair in her fingers as she saw her son walking away with the dog. She saw the row of trees separating her house from Arnav's. She felt empty inside. The same emptiness she had felt when Arnav had walked out of their house five days before, on Anish's birthday. How many times she stood there listening to the sounds from his house. Waiting to hear his jeep, trying hard to listen to him talking to his horses, searching for numerous excuses to go and see him. Thank God she did not go and see him. How silly that would have looked. She even warned Anish to keep away from that house when Arnav had made it very clear that he didn't want to get close to them. That he wanted to move and in matter of days and weeks he would be gone. Whatever it was that had held him here had lost it's allure and he was moving away.

Anish who was standing under a huge Mayflower tree looking more than his fifteen years. He would be leaving her soon and she would be alone once again. And her life was going to change just like when Akshay Saxena had placed a  baby in her arms to be adopted fifteen years ago.

She heard the dog barking and trying to run free from Anish when he saw a squirrel. Anish also turned and starred at Arnav's house. She knew he was also missing  Arnav. How had she let this happen? How had she allowed this Arnav Singh Raizada to become an integral part of their lives... How had she let him turn their world upside down in a matter of few months?  

"Found him!"  Said Shyam Manohar Jha on the phone to the old Mallik, from a run down liquor shop few kilometers away from Pilani. He was feeling hot and sweaty, and he was covering his face with a cap on one side, protecting it from the dusty wind that was getting stronger by a minute. But he was elated at having found out about the location of the boy. He marveled at the effect of what a few phone calls from powerful people can do!  Arnav's adhaar number was found out and then his address. He sent his men  to his village near Jalandar and found out that he was in Pilani. Then it had all been a a cakewalk. He was outside  a watering hole for many local people and best place to get the latest gossip of the town. He pretended as if he had one too many and got a constable, a middle aged man into telling him about Anish and his mother.

"Where?" The old man asked.

"In an old dusty town can hardly call that....a place called Pilani."

"What?  Where is that damn place? Never heard of it."

"In Rajasthan"

"How is he?" Shyam could hear the old man choke over his words.

"He is fine ....he is  fine....a great kid..." Shyam lied, not willing to pass on the information that the boy was quite a handful and a bit weird, always getting into trouble with other kids in school. In fact he had an uneasy feeling when he heard about that boy and wanted to get out of this mess as soon as possible he thought. There was no need to upset the Mallik and let him have second thoughts. He didn't want the old man to have a heart attack. All he wanted was money from him, truckloads of it. And would not let anything happen to him before his cancer got him. 

"Then get him here." The old man said.

"Yes of course. I have to convince the mother before that."Shyam said.

"What about her? I was expecting this." The old man said.

"From what I hear she loves her kid so much...." He had come to know that the mother loved the kid and expected it to be tough with her. The constable pitied the mother who was called Kushi Kumari Gupta. A nice woman who kept to herself and had rough time with her son. Shyam smiled to himself. His theory was right.

"Then throw her a wad of cash and ask her to give up the boy. Explain to her it is in the best interest of herself and her son. She woulnt want to face the court for kidnapping charges, would she? Then how would her son feel about it them?"

"There is one more problem..."shyam said slowly. He didn't know how much to reveal. He had put two and two together an his gut instinct telling him about the biological parents of the boy. He was wary of revealing it afraid that the old man might call off the entire operation, if he didn't tell him....he might suspect that he was hiding something from him. 

"What problem?" The old man said exasperated.

"But she is not the only one I have to convince..."Shyam said.

"Who else?"

"I think the most difficult part would be to handle Arnav Singh Raizada."he said.

He heard a sharp intake of breath from the old man. "What? What is he doing there?"he asked. The old man sounded interested. Shyam was relieved. 

"Don't know..."once again Shyam lied. "Remember I said earlier Lavanya had met him three months ago... She must have asked him to look for her son. Probably he is also looking for Lavanya's son."

"But why?"asked Manick.

"Don't know...don't worry Mr. Mallik, you'll have your grandson back in a week." He said and cut the call. He knew very well why that Raizada was there. He connected the dots and put two and two together and came to a conclusion that Arnav Singh Raizada was the father of that kid. The bas.tard son of Manohar Panikar the son in law of the Malliks had sired an illegitimate bast.ard of his own. He smiled licking his lips. Now what a story that was going to make!

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