Dil ki Baatein..
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 72 times)
Prologue- A beautiful journey, encompassing the lives of two made for each other souls, who unite, overcoming all obstacles and, witnessed thorough the eyes of an aloof businessman, who is bowled over by the love of his sweetheart.
Strange! I have never, ever expressed my thoughts and feelings of my heart to anyone.Time and gain, I have failed. But, at this juncture of my life, I am forced to do so. I want to pour my heart here,dear diary. I wish to relive all those beautiful moments of my life, which were gifted by my dearest Khushi, when I memorize them now. I do not know, how to express my gratitude to you dear, for coming into my life, for splashing colours to it, transforming each and very moment of my life into something worthwhile, vibrant like never before, like you.
Fate has been cruel to me always. All these years, I do not know how I managed to live in solitude, aloof, all the time. I stole myself and hid from my conscience, to overcome the grief and the torture inflicted on me and my sister. I stayed away from all the pleasures of adolescence, to win back everything that I lost. People knew me as Arnav Singh Raizada, the arrogant business tycoon, a self-made man. No one cared to enquire, how far I was from that. I had everything- money, power, status, prestige, but one thing- Love! My heart ached, I craved for love, all these years, yet I never expressed it. Fate shattered my personality, I shut up all emotions but one- anger.
I never knew, nor did I value the sanctity of marriage, what after my Ma had gone through, until I met you Khushi! I owe everything to you. I promise you, to stay with you, till death do us apart, to love you, more than I love myself, to surrender myself to you, my beloved. I beg of you, to pardon me for all those wounds that I had inflicted on you, unknowingly,my dear. You are the reason of my existence- the only girl who stole my heart, dared to speak against me, disobey me, fight me and above all, love me unconditionally. I hope that, one day you will get a chance to read this, only to find out, what you had, you are and you will be to me, till my last breath. I love you a lot Khushi Kumari Gupta! Oops! Sorry, Mrs. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada.
19th August 2012, Subhash Park, Delhi.
She is gone.. The only piece of solace, that I have ever had has gone- my Di! Today was her wedding. She got married to someone, who loved her more than himself- Shyam Manohar Jha- accomplished lawyer, above all, a really nice man..It was a perfect arranged marriage. Shyamji fell for my Di, right the first time he saw her at out home. Things were going great and fast after that and today she went away, with him, off to Lucknow. That leaves me again, at Shantivan, alone. Well there were others- Nani, Akash, NK, Pooja, but none of them gave the company that I craved for, unlike Di.
I sat there, in the park, it was 5 pm. I leaned against the back of the wooden chair, with eyes closed, enjoying the cool breeze. Little did I know that I was going to meet someone, that my life was going to change, forever. I heard a pleasant sound- the sound of anklets, after a long time. I used to hate that sound, since Ma went away, but today it felt as if, it was made for me. I felt someone's presence, near me. I still had my eyes closed, but I was forced to open them as I heard a voice which made my heart beat go erratic.
Khushi: Maaf Keejiye. Aur koi jagah nahi thi. Aap so rahe hain?(Sorry. No other seat was vacant. Were you sleeping?)
I looked sideways and I fell for you right there Khushi. But My face was devoid of any expression, I knew that. I remember clearly. You wore a simple white salwar, big earrings, open hair, blown over my face, a small bag in your hand.
I sat back and closed my eyes again. But you did annoy me with your constant blabbering..
Khushi: Kitna caha muasam hain na. Aapka naam kya hain? Hum hain Khushi..(What a pleasant weather it is! Waht's your name? I'm Khushi.)
Here I was, lamenting over Di's leaving and you were there edging for a conversation. I tuned to look at you and saw only happiness and concern in your eyes, unlike me.
Me: Dhodi der chain se baithne dogi?( Will you let me sit peacefully for a while?)
Your frown was something everyone should have seen dear, how cute you looked it..
Khushi: Ajeedb insaan hain! Humne sirf naam poocha..(SWhat a strange man! I just asked his name..)
Me: Jaane ke liye ithna besabru ho? Mujhe nahi bathana hain teek hain? (You are dying to know my name? I don't want to tell you.)
Khushi: Hey Devi Maiyya!! Dikhne mein laad governor lag raha hain(Hey Devi Maiyya! Looks like a Laad Governor..)
I glared at you and you had your mouth open..
Khushi: Hum jaa rahe hain! Aram se baithoye Laad goevrnor ji!!(I'm going. Sit here and enjoy! Laad Governorji..)
Your cousin came then, looking for you.
Payal: Khsuhi! Kahaan chali gayi thi?( Khushi! Where did you go?)
Khushi: Bs yahaan thi Jiji! Chalo..(I was just here Jiji! Let's go.)
Maybe you also felt something close, something strange, you turned to have a last look at me and, did I smile? Well, I do't remember..
Khushi: Aap has muskura rahe the Arnavji!!(You were smiling, Arnavji!)
She closed the first page of the diary, with tear-filled eyes and kept it safely in her almirah, hearing the sound of footsteps..
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 70 times)
Khushi opened the door and saw Hari Prakash coming with the food.
Hari Prakash: Khushi bhabhi agar aur kuch chahiye to bula leejiyega.(Khushi bhabhi, if you want anything else, just give me a call.)
Khushi nodded and closed the door. She was hungry, but at the same time, she desperately wanted to read the remaining part of Arnav's diary. She opened the almirah, took out the diary and continued to read, while having her food.
I couldn't sleep properly that night, Khushi. It was my first night, without bidding good night to Di and I felt all alone in this world. I kept switching sides and finally got up around 1 am. I got out of the bed and went near the poolside. The water glittered in the moonlight and I stood there for a long time, looking up at the sky. I don't know how and when my thoughts switched to you, Khushi, suddenly it was all you- only you, in my mind. I closed my eyes in frustration, but all I could see was your smile.
Me: Damn it!!Baar baar uska chehra kyun nazar aa rahi hain?( Damn it! Why am I seeing her face over and over.)
I was really angry then, Khushi, it was the first time that a girl had completely conquered my thoughts. I slept off, swearing, never to come across you- never again. But I was proven wrong, as always.
23rd August 2012, Mandir.
Me: Nani, aap Mami ke saath jaayiye please. Mujhe aaj jaldi office pohonchna hain.(Nani, please, will you go with Mami? I need to reach office quickly.)
Nani: Chotte, Manorama subah subah beauty parlour gayi hain, wahaan se mandir pohonchenge..(Chotte, Manoramam had gone to the beauty parlour.She'll come to the temple, directly from there.)
I was really impatient. I never wanted to go there, but somehow, I always ended up inside the temple, for one reason or the other. I took Nani and dropped her at the temple, but saw Di inside. I had to get down. Di rushed to me, to give me a hug.
Di: Chotte, please aayiye, ye pooja jaldi khatam ho jaayegi.(Chotte, please, come, this pooja will be over soon.)
Me: Aap jaathe hain na Di, mujhe in sab cheezon mein vishwas nahi hain.( Di, you know that I don't believe in all these things..)
Di: Acha baba, teek hain. Jayiye.( Okay baba, then go.)
I raced down the steps and I swear i didn't see you coming Khushi, though I never admitted it then. In a split second, I had banged against you, your thali fell down, the sindoor fell over your forehead and I caught your hand fast, so that you didn't fall down. I glanced up and saw you- well what were you feeling then? I saw shock, anger, surprise everything together on your face.
Khushi: Ye kya kar diya aapne. Hey Devi Maiyya! Humaari thali gharaab ho gayi.. Ye sirf aapki wajah se hua..(What have you done? Hey Devi Maiyya, my thali has been destroyed. Everything happened because of you.)
Me: What the!! Dekhke nahi jaa sakthi thi ?( What the! Can't you look properly, and go?)
Khushi: Ahaha, aur aapka dhyaan kahaan the?( Aahaha, and where were you paying attention to?)
I looked at myself, and apart from all those flowers, scattered over my coat, I was perfectly al right. But your salwar was covered in sindoor and i looked upwards and oh God! The sindoor had completely covered the partition on your hair. I was lost completely. I recognized you, but you took time.
Khushi: Ek minute, shayad humne aapko kahi dekha hain.( One minute, I think I have seen you somewhere.)
Khushi: Acha! To ye wohi Laad Governor hain!!(Oho, so this is that Laad Governor.)
My face clearly expressed anger, and I had clenched my fist that you suddenly backed off, leaving my hold.
Khushi: Auar koi aise mandir mein kisiko pareshaan nahi karenge..( No one else will trouble someone inside the temple..)
I took one step closer and you got really scared, as usual..
I saw your cousin running all the way, to find you.
Payal: Khushi! Hum kab se intezaar kar rahe the., Yahaan kya kar rahi hain tu?( Khushi! I've been waiting for a long time. What are you doing here?)
Khushi: Ye dekho Jiji, is Laad Governor ne..( Look at this Jiji, this Laad Governor..)
Payal was shocked to see the mess and all the more shocked to see the sindoor on your forehead. I saw her siganlling you, to wipe it away. You took your duppatta and started to wipe it away and I couldn't bear to watch it. Thought it had happened unintentionally, I somehow, wished that it remained there.
Khushi: Kya?( What?)
You looked up, to see my outstretched right hand, preventing you from wiping it away, but the look on your face, forced me to withdraw.
Khushi: DEkhiye! Aapko humein ek dossri thali lana padega.(Look! You have to bring me another thali.)
Me: What? No way, meine kuch nahi kiya.(What? I didn't do anything.)
I really enjoyed the anger crossing your face then, Khushi, it was really a sight.
Khushi: Aap aise yahaan se nahi jaa sakthe?( You can't go away like that.)
Me: Oh really? Kaun rokega mujhe?( Oh really? Who will stop me?)
I smirked and I could see that you were hurt.
Payal: Dekhiye, humein bohoth der ho rahi hain. Iski taraf se hum maafi maagthe hain..(See, we are getting late. I apologize, on her behalf, please.)
Me: Kaash aapki tarah ye bhi samajhdar hoti to?( Alas! If this girl understood this, like you.)
Khushi: Dekiye, zyaada smart banne ki koshish mat keejiye.(Look, don't try to be smart okay?)
Payal: Uffo Khushi!1 Chalo..(Uffo, Khushi, let's go..)
As you prepared to leave, i thrusted a 100 rupees note on your hand.
Me: Doosri thali, whatever!( Another thali.. Whatever.)
Khushi: Samajhte kay hain apne aapko?( What does he think of himself..)
I started the car and through the rear view mirror, I could see you, blabbering all the way up to the temple, eating out Payal's ears..
Khushi flipped on to the next page..
Khushi: Kaash aap dekh paaye shayad. Ghar jaane baad humne dekha tha Arnavji, Sindoor teek se nikaal nahi paye..(Wish you could have seen it Arnavji! I saw that after going home, I couldn't wipe away the sindoor properly.. The mark was there, for a long time..)
She bent down and kissed the page and ran her fingers through his neat handwriting.
I couldn't concentrate on anything that day. It was like any other day- usual meetings, conversations, deals. But I wasn't myself that day. I went home, took a bath and sat down with my laptop. Whenever I closed my eyes, I could see only one thing- the sindoor on your forehead, and your smile when me met for the first time.. What magic have you created Khushi!
I can't stop myself thinking about you.. I didn't know what was happening to me. Deep inside I was really angry, really a lot for dominating so much in my life- but at the same time, did I wish to see you again? I swore in my mind- I never want to see you again, but my heart ached- Come to me once more, my dear. A few days passed and I knocked you out of my memory, until..Well you shocked me a lot when you popped up in my house one day Khushi..
Di: Aayiye na..Naniji, wo log aa gaye..(Come in please. Naniji, they have come..)
I was coming down the stairs, when I felt a cool breeze. A smile crossed my face and my heart went out of my control. I stopped right there and I stood gazing at you, though you never noticed.
Nani: Aaiye ayyiye, kal aapne jo mithayiyaan bheji thi bohoth swaadisht thi.. Hum khud aapse milkar badhaayi dena chahath hain.(Come in please, the sweets that you had delivered yesterday were so delicious that I wanted to thank you in person.)
Buaji: Hai re Nandakissore, dhanyavaad, sab ee sanka devi ne banaya.(Hia re Nanda kissore, everything was this sanka devi's work..)
You know Khushi, people develop an instant liking for you, on seeing that beautiful smile of yours, and my Nani and Di were no exception..
Nani: ee aayiye, bitiya aapka naam kya hain?( Come here bitiya, what is your name?)
Khushi: Ji, Khushi.
Di: Mithayiyaan bhi aapki tarah bohoth meethi thi..( The sweets were also really sweet like you.)
I couldn't stand there anymore, witnessing my family going gaga over you and I rushed down. Oh! The look on your face, when you saw me there. You sprang up as if pricked by a pin and gazed at me with open mouth..
Me: Yahaan hi pareshaan karne aayi ho?( You have come to trouble me here as well?)
Khushi: Ji nahi. Aapki naniji humein bulaya.(No, your Naniji had called us.)
Me: Oh!!Kya Nani kuch kiya isne?( What is it Nani? She dis something?)
Di rolled my eyes at me..
Buaji: ee lo e sanka devi humsesha kisiko preshaan karthi hain..Bbaua bhi inhe jaathe hain.(Oh! This Sanka Devi always troubles someone. Now this Babua also knows her.)
Me: Sahi kahaa aapne..(You said it right.)
I noticed that you were deeply hurt then, in front of everyone and though you smiled and looked away, I could read the pain in your eyes- who knows I may had fallen for you even before that, to understand you more than myself..I am sorry Khushi, for what I had told that day..
Khushi: Aapne sahi kaha Arnavji. Us din ghar jaane ke baad humne kithni royi thi, aapki wajah se.. Lekin ab..(You said it right Arnavji. After going home, how much I cried that day, because of you..But now..)
She wiped her eyes and proceeded to the next page..
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 63 times)
30th August 2012, Delhi main road
A really hectic day for me. Since morning there was no power in the entire area, and the worst part was that I had accidentally left out a few points in my presentation due to which I had to rebuild everything and present the next day. The deal would have been signed almost had it not been my negligence. I worked up all evening and got out from AR by 7pm. It's been twelve hours, straight in the office and I was almost dead. I skipped my lunch, evening tea and more than that I refused to have my tablets. I was thoroughly exhausted and just wanted to go home and lie down, without even freshening up. I sped through the road and much to my dismay I was trapped in a traffic jam soon. I switched off the engine and leaned back. I was sweating profusely.
Amongst all those hustle and chaos, I do not know how I managed to hear your voice Khushi. Suddenly it was all your chatter that I heard. I opened my eyes and looked everywhere. There you were- bargaining with a street vendor with a few vegetables. I could read form his face that he was fed up with it and I continued to watch you all the while, when you paid, walked along, stopped to have a golgappa and stood there, to cross the road. I assume that you could feel my eyes on you as you were altogether self-conscious then, adjusted your duppatta, swung the bag a little more close to you and looked there and there. I sat in my Safari, devoid of any expression. How much I tried to avoid you, I always ended up beside you Khushi. I could feel it. But I simply refused to accept it. The traffic cleared later and I started off, shifting my gaze from you, though I never wanted it.
How could you be so careless Khushi. But you are always like that, even now. I raced my car and simultaneously you looked to the other side of the road which was clear and continued to cross, not looking in my direction. I applied the brakes so fast-Thank God! I thought I almost killed you Khushi! Even now, I could feel that anxiety I had experienced then. You stood there screaming, closing your ears
when I came near you.
Me: Tum teek ho?( Are you allright?)
But you were so stubborn, you wouldn't simply accept that it was your fault. Well in that case, we match.
Khushi: Kya? Phir se aap? Hey Devi Maiyya!!(What ? Oh it's you again! Hey Devi Maiyya!)
I caught hold of your hands and shook you.
Me: Gaadi ke samne koodne se pehle ek baar teek se dekhna chahiye.( You should watch before you jump in front of a vehicle.)
Khushi: Aha! Apa kya kar rahe the? Aap dekh nahi sakthe the ki hum road cross kar rahe the?( Aha! What were you doing? Couldn't you see that I was crossing the road?)
Me: Mujhpar ilzaam math lagao.( Don't blame me..) You pushed my hand away, in pain and I saw the marks on your hand, probably no definitely because of my hold.
By then, the crowd thickened and everybody was on my side as the saw you crossing carelessly. I could see the anger, in such a helpless situation.
Khushi: Hum chalthe hain! Huh! Hey Devi Maiyya! Baad mein inse mulaakaat math hone deejiye.( I'm going. Hey Devi Maiyya! Please don't make a chance to meet him again.)
Me: Mujhe bhi koi shauk nahi hain.. Tum jaise ghatya inzaan ke samne aane ka.(I also don't want to meet a cheap person like you.)
I swear, I said it out of my frustration and I had nothing on my mind when I said that Khushi. I told you no, what a day it had been. But you turned and I could see the hurt on your face..
A lone tear escaped Khushi's eyes.
Khushi: Ye sab hone ke baad aapne humein dhedh saara pyaar diya Arnavji.Is liye humein bilkul bura nahi lag raha hain..(After all these incidents, you have showered all your love on me Arnavji, so I don't feel bad about it, never, at all.)
Khushi: Uske baad kya hua tha ye humein yaad hain, aur humein poora yaqqen hain ki aapko bhi aisa hoga.(I remember clearly, what happened after this, and I am sure that you also feel the same .)
And of course, he had, every minutest detail..
I remember, opening the door and trying to get inside, but I fainted, everything went black and as anticipated, my sugar had gone to an all time low. I fell on the road, with a thud and I could remember only one thing- I whispered Khushi. Nothing else.. When I opened my eyes, I was on my bed and you were next to me. I heard you briefing Nani and Mami.
Khushi: Naniji! Hum paas mein golgappe kha rahe the aur inhe dekha. Hum ghabra gaye the Naniji. Behosh ho gaye the, humne jaldi inhe gaadi mein bithaake le aaya..(Naniji! I was having golgappe, when I saw him I was really scared. He went unconscious and I didn't know what to do. I just made him sit in the car and brought him over here.)
Mami: Hello Hai Bye bye! Tumko gaadi chalaana awath hain ka?( Hello Hai Bye Bye! You know how to drive?)
And I opened one eye and saw you nodding your head proudly. Really that was unexpected. You could drive an SUV so coolly.
Khushi: Aur inke sar pe bohoth paseena the aur humein laga ki inko diabetes hain. Humare bag mein jalebi the aur humne inko diya.( And I saw a lot of sweat pn his head, and I assumed that he had diabetes. So I gave him the Jalebi, which I had in my bag.)
Nani: Bohoth bothoth dhanyavaad bitiya! Agar us waqt aap nahi hote to.(Thank you so so much bitiya, if you weren't there, at that time..)
I opened both eyes and saw you smiling..Strange that you didn't know my name even then. Well I never told you.
Khushi: To kuch nahi hota, Devi Maiyya, sambhalte honge inhe..(Then, nothing would have happened. Devi Maiyya, would have taken care of him.)
Nani: Arey Chotte! Ab kaise hain. Kithni bar kaha hain teek waqt pe dawaayi leni chahiye. Aur khaana bhio nahi khaaya. (Arey Chotte! How are you now? How many times have I told you to take medicines at the right time? And you skipped your food also.)
Me: Nnai, wo kaam ke silsile mein.( Nani, in the midst of work..)
Nani: Kaam to apni tabeeyath se upar nahi howath hain.( Work is not above your health.)
I saw you trying hard to look away. You didn't mention a word about the almost would have happened accident. So selfless.
Khushi: Acha hum chalthe hain..(Okay, I'm going.)
Mami: Ithni raat ko.( It's late night and..)
Me: Nani, ab mein teek hoon, mein **** dunga.( Nani, I'm allright now, I'll drop her.)
Khushi: Nahi, aapko is waqt aaraam karna cahaiye.( No, you should take rest.)
I knew that you wouldn't budge. I had to shout.
Me: Mujhe kya karna hain, kya nahi karna hain, ye sab tum mukhe math bathao.( Look, you don't tell me what I should do and what I shouldn't..)
I could read the hatred on your face..
Khushi: Nafrat nahi, hum gusse mein the Arnavji..( It wan't hatred, I was angry Arnavji..)
She turned onto the next page.
Nani: Chotte! Ye kaisan tareeka hain baat krne ka.( Chotte, what kind of a way is it to talk to someone?)
I clenched my fists and went down. I sat in the car and saw you coming along, red faced.
Khushi: Hum khud jaa sathe hain.( I can go all by myself.)
Me: Yeah, aur kithne logon ke pareshaan karogi?( Yeah, how many people will be troubled by you?)
Khushi: Laad governor kahike. Humne inhe bahchay aur ye dekho, humesha wahi gussa, wahi ghamand.(Laad governor! I rescued him and now look at him. That same anger, same pride.)
Khushi: Kuch nahi, chaliye.( Nothing, let's go.)
I glance sideways and saw your nose turning red. Throughout the journey I could feel the gap- none of us spoke. Wish we had.
Me: Kahaan jaana hain?( Where do you need to go?)
Khushi: Ghar.( Home.)
Me: I know that damn it!! Kahaan hain tumhara ghar?( I know that damn it!! Where is your home?)
Khushi: Yahaan se right.( Right form here.)
I turned the car right and after a few while, we had reached your home. Before I could speak, I saw you getting out and walking away, without even looking at me.I got down fast and ran behind you. You turned back, sensing something.
Me: Eh, well.
Khushi: Kya?( What?)
Me: You see..
Khushi: Kehna kya chahthe hain aap?( What do you want to say?)
I could see the curiosity in your eyes.
Me: Thanks for, eh aaj tumne jo kuch bhi kiya..( Thanks for, for what you have done today.)
I could see your mouth opening widely..
Khushi: Eh.. Koi baat nahi..(It's allright..)
I forced a smile and turned but stopped.
Me: By the way I'm, Arnav..
Khushi: Hum jaanthe hain..(I know.)
I was taken aback. How did she know my name ?
You smiled back and went inside and I could hear Buaji's scoldings..One thing I was sure that day- You wre all alone in this world. Buaji didn't love you at all.
Khushi cried nad hugged the diary close to her heart..
Khushi: Haan, Buaji kabhi bhi humse pyaar nahi kiya Arnavji, aap us din se hi humein samajhte the kya? Humse zyaada?(Yeah, Buaji never loved me Arnavji. You understood me even then? More than myself?)
She bent down and read the last line of the page..
That day I realized Khushi, what it means to be cared, to be loved, to be wanted for. And I swore myself that day- whatever I have to do, I would never let you go from my life, never ever and for that I will do something so that you will never forget me, even for a minute in your life...
Khushi: Sahi kaha aapne.. Humn ek pal bhi aapke bare mein bina soche nahi reha hain.( You are right. I haven't spent a minute, without thinking about you..)
Khushi glanced at the bed side table and took his photo from there. She kissed it deeply..
Khushi: Jaldi waapas aayiyye. (Come back fast..)
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 69 times)
2nd September 2012
There has not been a single day in which I had not thought about you Khushi. In fact, I would wonder what you would be doing in your house. I wanted to know more about you, I wanted to find a way for that but my Di had come to Shantivan, to stay here for a few days and she told all about you.
Di: Chotte!! Agar hum kuch kahein to tum mana nahi karoge na?( Chotte! If I tell you something you won't refuse no?)
Me: Aisa kabhi hua hain?( Did it happen like that ever?)
Di smiled and I never thought that she would be asking to help you.
Di: Wo, Khushiji hain na unke gharki paistithi kuch acchi nahi hain, humein kuch karna padega.( Em, things are not really good at Khushiji's house. We need to do something.)
I was taken aback. She was so concerned about you, right from the beginning. Well, who wasn't?
Me: Kya hua?(What happened?)
Di: Wo apni buaji ke saath rehthi hain aur haan bujai ki beti bhi hain ghar pe. Lekin Buaji ke pension se kaam nahi chal raha hain, agar hum unhe koi naukri dilwaayi to,( She lives with her Buaji and Buaji's daughter is also there, with them. It's difficult for them to manage with Buaji's pension alone. If we can arrange a job for her..)
Me: Di, humein ye sab karne ki zaroorat nahi hain. Wo hain kaun humaari?( Di, there is no need for us to do all these. I mean after all, who is she to us?)
Di's eyes grew wide and she manipulated me emotionally.
Di: Chotte! Khushiji ne us raat tumhein bachaaya, shayad tum bhool gaye ho, lekin hum nahi.(Chotte! Khushiji saved you that night. You might have forgotten, but I didn't.)
Me: Okay. Kya karna hain?( Okay what should I do?)
Di smiled broadly.
Di: Humein patha chala ki wo fashion designing ki course poori kar li hain. To AR mein naukri dilwaoge?( I came to know that she had completed a course in fashion designing. So, you will give her a job in AR?)
Me: Oh! Ab saari takleef mujhe hogi..( Oh, now I'll have all the troubles.)
Di pouted her face..
Me: Acah, mein karunga, aap ke liye.( Okay, I'll do it, for you.)
Di was so happy that she jumped up and kissed my forehead. Reaaly Khushi, I was greatly indebted to her for that because of which I could see you everyday. I went to office happily, asked Aman to send and appointment letter to you. Well, it was a matter of three days, after that you would be with me Khushi.
6th September 2012, AR
I was in my cabin and I could see you from the corner of my eyes, climbing the stairs and coming to me, though I sat like I never noticed. You knocked at my door.
Me: Come in.
I looked up and saw you clad in a simple red salwar, palited hair and a small bad as always.
Khushi: Wo, hum, aaj.( Eh I, today.)
I raised my hand to stop you, to make it feel less awkward for you, but my face, as usual was expressionless-well a little fake anger? You thought I was cutting it and felt offended.
Khushi: Ek baat khatam karne bhi nahi denge.( Won't even let me finish.)
You shook your head.
Khushi: Dhanyavaad sir, agar ye kaam nahi milthe to pata nahi hum kya karthey.( Thank you sir, if I hadn't got this job, I don't know what would have happened.)
Me: Hm.. Waise bolthi badi hain na, is liye zaroor kaam hoga tumhaare liye.( Mm, by the way, you speak a lot no, so i''ts easy for you to get a job,s surely.)
I joked and apparently, it didn't occur to you. You again felt bad. I could see the cute frown on your face..
Khushi: Hum, chalthe hain.( I'll take my leve.)
I never bothered to reply, but I smiled seeing you muttering all the way down.
Khushi: Hum bhi na, kuch bhi nahi samajhtey.( I am too much. I won't understand anything..)
She flipped the page, munching the poori halwa.
Within a single day, you had everyone on your side dear. Such a great rapport you had, even with the people in canteen. That's something I always admire about you. Even I, the MD of AR, haven't been able to engage in a chat with the employees, yet..
7th September 2012,conference hall.
Me: Okay that's it, I hope I have shown everything in elaborate detail,so, Mr. Gupta, what do you say?
Mr Gupta; em, I think you ahve left out something over there, I mean you haven't mentioned anything about the new trend- mix materials- you know silk-jute, jute-cotton, most of the other companies have that..
I was really tensed then. How could I possibly leave out something like that? I was working hard for this deal, but somehow, it slipped from my mind..But never did I expect you Khushi, to come to my rescue.
Khushi: Agar hum kuch keh sakthey to?( If I may say something..?)
Mr. Gupta turned to look at you and I shook my head, not to utter nayword, but thankfully you didn't listen to me that day also.
Khushi: Sir, hum yahaan ke nayi costume designer hain. Actually wo sab cheezon ke baare mein hum bathaanewale the.( Sir, I'm the new costume designer of AR. Actually I was the one appointed to speak about those things.)
Mr. Gupta: Perfect!
I didn't know you had such a great skill in presentation Khushi, until that day.Your gestures, your style, your attitude, I mean Mr. Gupta was flattered. He spoke really highly of you that day and except while signing the deal, all eyes were on you. I was really jealous then. Right form the beginning, no one had dared to appreciate anybody else in my office. But it happened so, then. You took away all the accolades and I was left out. That evening, as everyone went away, I saw you smiling at yourself, happy with all that had happened and preparing to leave for home. I couldn't take it anymore. I rushed and banged my fist on your table, and I could read form your eyes, that you were shocked to the core.
Khushi: Ye kya?( What's this?)
Me: Tumhaari himaat kaise hui?( HOW DARE YOU?)
Khushi: Hum? Humne kya kiya?( Me? What did I do?)
Me: HOW DARE YOU TAKE OVER THE PRESENTATION WITHOUT ASKING ME? HOW DARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF? DON'T TRY TO BE TOO SMART!
Khushi, my heart ached when I saw you in tears, but my mind overpowered my heart then.
Khushi: Humne sirf aapko bachane ke liye.( I, just to save you.)
Me: Mujhe patah hain ye sab kaise sambhlana hian. Get it?( I know how to handle it. Get it?)
You nodded, tears streaming down your eyes.
Me: Ab khadi kyun ho? Jao!( Now, why are you standing here? Levae!)
You ran away, shattered, but think once Khushi! I will never be able to forgive myself for that Khushi! Never! I didn't mean to hurt you, but I felt so small, so weak before you that day, and it all came out in my wrath- Forgive me my sweetheart, please?
Khushi cried hard, after reading this and hugged his photo close to her heart.
Khushi: Hum bohoth naaraz the, aapse, bohoht zyaada, lekin humein patah tha ki aap ye san kehna nahi chahthe the.( I was really upset with you that day, a lot. But I knew, that you never wished to say all those things to me- never..)
She looked into the diary and smiled.
Khushi: Aapki tarah hum bhi tab se aapko smajh sakthey the, kabhi kabhi..Laad Governor.( Like you, I could also understand you sometimes, since then, Laad Governor..)
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 65 times)
9th September 2012
I was surprised to receive a call from you that morning Khushi. In fact, I rechecked my home screen to see if it was your name that it was displaying. I smiled to myself as I saw your name but when I picked up, as sual it was a rough voice that answered you.
Khushi: Em, sir, humne ye bathaane ke liye phone kiya ki..( E, sir, I called you to say that..)
Me: Mere paas zyaada waqt nahi hain, seedhe baat bataho.( I don't have much time with me, come to the matter, straightaway.)
Khushi: Sir, wo aaj hum office nahi aa payenge. Ek zaroori kaam hain.( Sir, I won't be able to come to office today. I've an important work.)
Me: Kaam ke alawa aur kya zaroori cheez hain tumhaare liye?( Apart from work what other important is there for you?)
Khushi: Sir, wo bohoth zaroori kaam hain. Plase, aaj ke din leave deejiye.( Sir, it's really imporatnt. Please grant me leave for today.)
Me: No way . Aaj ek bohoth important kaam hain. Naye materials mangwaaya hain, aur tumhain aaj hi paanch bridal designs ke kaam khatam karna hain.( No way. Yu have a really important work today. We have bought new materials and you need to make five new bridal designs today itself.)
Khushi: Sir, lekin kal hum sab kuch jaldi hi karenge..(But sir, tomorrow I'll finish everything fast.)
Me: Shaayad tum nahi jaanthi, ASR ko sahi waqt pe kaam karna hi pasand hain, Warna mujhe tumhe naukri se nikaalna padega. Choice tumhaari hain.(Maybe you don't know it. ASR likes the things to be done at the proper time. If not, I may have to expel you from this job. The choice is yours.)
I could hear the voice stiffen, at your end.
Khushi: Hum aathe hain.( I'm coming..)
I cut the call and smiled at myself.
Me: How easy is it for me to keep everything under control. You can't disobey me Miss Gupta. I smirked and went to office, but little did I know what was coming after that Khushi. I promise you, I never knew that it was such an important thing..
10 30 am, AR.
I came down to check on everyone and saw you immersed in your work, bending over your desk.I looked away, when my eyes met yours, but I managed to see that you were upset, deeply upset. But I thought it must be something not worthwhile. I heard your mobile ringing and stood back behind the wall, to watch you secretly.
Khushi: Buaji! Hum, hum shaam ko hi aa payenge..(Buaji, I will be able to reach by evening only..)
Something must have been told by your Buaji then. I saw your lips trembling and tears streaming out of your eyes. I raised my hand unknowingly, to wipe them, but you were too far. I saw the others watching you and I couldn't console you also, though I wanted to. I do not know why- Always, a little drop of that tear, will make my heart feel heavy Khushi. Even now.
Me: Everyone, back to work, Kaam karte huye aur koi cheez mein dhaayn math daalo.( Everyone back to work, don't let your attention drift to some other thing, when you are working.)
I walked towards you and you suddenly wiped all the tears and sat there, looking down.
Khushi: Sir, ye dekhiye kaise bani hain?( Sir, please have a look, how is this?)
I saw that you had made two designs and it was below your usual finish- strangely, you weren't yourself that day.
Me: Phir se banao. And yes, I want by 5pm today itself..( Start gain, this won't do. And yes, I want everything ready by 5 pm today itself.)
You nodded, I could see the shock on your face as you were aware of the fact that you won't be able to finish it today.
I saw the mobile ringing again and before you could attend it, I took it and switched it off. I threw the phone away much to your bewilderment and stamped my fist on your desk.
Me: Duty first. Don't waste time, for your silly talks..
Khushi: Wo ghar mein aaj..( At home, today we have..)
Me: DAMN IT!! TUMHAARI SHAADI TO NAHI HAIN NA.. GET BACK TO WORK I SAY!!( DAMN IT! IT'S NOT YOUR MARRIAGE RIGHT? GET BACK TO WORK I SAY.)
You froze, on hearing me shouting and sank back to the chair, with a heavy heart. I saw everyone looking away, when I turned back and I went up, to my cabin. I looked won and could see you wiping your tears now and then and drawing hard. I cursed myself and clenched my fists, I do not know why I always ended up hurting you Khushi, even when you were upset. My heart wished and hoped that you would complete everything by 5pm but I myself wanted the reverse to happen, just to exert my power on you.
Time flew and I was busily engaged in con calls and meetings, that forgot all that had happened in the morning. It was 5 pm when I checked the time and I saw that all the employees were leaving, one by one. I went down and I saw you working hard, to complete the last one. Aman told me that you had skipped your lunch and I was coming to ask you to leave.
Me: Ho w far have you completed?
You looked up and your face gave me the shock of the day Khushi. Your eyes were red and puffed up, hair, all messed uo and you looked so weak. You just stared at me and I could see the anger, frustration, grief, everything on your face.
Khushi: Bas abhi aadhe ghante mein khatam ho jayega.( It will be over within half an hour..)
Me: Lekin meine tumse paanch baje ko khatam karne ke liye kaha.( But I told you it must be over by 5 pm.)
Khushi: Dekhiye, please humein dhoda waqt deejiye..(See, give me some time please.)
Me: Okay, if you aren't done it by 6 and if its' not up to the mark, you'll be out. Okay?
You stared helplessly at me and I walked away, having the last laugh.. I knew how much you wanted this job for a living..But the demon I was, I never understood nor did I care to understand a common man's feelings..
Khushi didn't cry, she just sat reading this part of his story with much attention. She knew how much she had cried, what all she had gone through that day, all beacuse of him. Her Buaji scolded her like never before and she cursed herself for staying alive. But at the end of the day, she could smile a little for what Arnav had done for her at her home. She thought about that and looked down to read the remaining part of it.
It was 6 30 pm. I was busy with a call from Akash, who was in our Mumbai branch then and lost the count of time. I rushed down to see you, preparing to take leave, with the drawings in your hand. I extended my hand and you thrust the papers.
Me: Hm, acha hain, ab tum jaa sakthi ho.( It;s good, you can go now.)
You left without saying a word and I assumed it was because your anger wasn't subsided. I didn't know the trauma that you were going through. I started my car and as sson as I came out of the gate, you were there, waiting for an auto. It was getting dark, not even a single auto came along. I stopped y car near you, but you didn't look up.
Me: Bohoth der ho chuki hain, andar aa jao, mein **** detha hoon.( It's late now. Come inside, I'll drop you.)
But you shifted your gaze to the road purposefully, with a deathly glare on your face. Really Khushi, it's frightening to see when you are so flared up.
I opened the door for you, but you stepped a little farther. I lost my temper and yelled at you, yet another time.
Me: GET INTO THE CAR DAMN IT!!
Khushi: Ye aapka daftar nahi hain. Yahaan aap humein dhamki nahi de sakthey. Hum jo chahe wo kar sakthe hain..(This is not your office. You can't threaten me here. I can do whatecer I want.)
Me: Andaar aake baitho. Aur koi option nahi hain tumhaare paas.( Come inside and sit. You don't have any other option.)
You cursed yourself, muttered something under your breath and came in.
Khushi: Humein nahi pehnna hain.( I don't want to wear.)
Me: Tumhaari marzi se yahan kuch nahi honewaala hain.( Nothing is going to happen, according to your wish.)
Khushi: Humein patah hain, warna aaj hum office nahi aanewaale the, Humaari amma-babuji.( I know, if not I wouldn't have come to office today. Amma-bBbauji..)
You stopped, tears brimming in your eyes. I didn't know what happened to your parents Khushi, if I had I wouldn't have told that to you. I know well, how it feels to live bereft of your dear ones..
Me: Tumhaare saath Buaji ke ghar mein nahi hain na. Thank God. They wouldn't have to bear with you..(They aren't with you in Buaji's house no? Thank God. They wouldn't have to bear with you..)
Khushi: DEKHIYE AAP HUMAARI AMMA-BABUJI KE BAARE MEIN KUCH MATH BOLIYE...
Me: Kya karogi tum?( What will you do?)
Khushi: Hum, hum..( I, i..)
You broke down and I didn't know what to do. I leaned in and put the seatbelt for you. Your hair, brushed on my cheek and I felt something strange, something quite new then. I sat like that, all lost in you while continued to sob..I started the car, to leave you at your home as ossn as possible. All the way I glanced at you every while, and saw you staring out of the window. I sped along the road and finally came to a halt in front of your house..You got down, without uttering a word or giving me chance to apologize, though I never wished to. I sat there, watching you going inside, something felt heavy in my heart. Did I see myself in you, for sometime? I think I did, I saw my 12 year old self in you a few momnts ago, standing on the road, holding the hand, of my Di, with our bags, all alone, devoid any home, any money..
I got down from the car and banged my fist on the bonnet..
Me: Aahhhhhhhh.. Ye kya ho raha hain mujhe?( What's happening to me?)
I could hear voices inside, Buaji? Yes. She was yelling at the top of her voice and I could hera your sobs in between. I couldn't stop myslef from walking up to your window and listening over it.
Buaji: Ka karein hum is ladki ka..( What shall I do with this girl?)
Khushi: Jiji, hum,, humara fon toot gaya, neeche gir gaye the, galthi se..( Jiji, I, my phone broke apart. It fell down accidentally.)
I cursed myself. Why did I do it!!
Payal: Lekin Khushi, tum ek baar bahar se phone kyun nahi kiya?( But Khushi, why didn't you call from outside? just once?)
Khushi: Jiji, Jiji,,
Oh you were breathless with your sobs, how desperately I wanted to console you then, but then the matter came as a shock to me..
Buaji: Kaisan ladi hain Hai re Nandakissore, apne Amma-Babuji ki barsi mein nahi shaamil hui.( What kind of a girl! Hai Re Nandakissore, she wasn't even present for her Mom-Dad's death anniversary.)
I turned back and I do not know what all things rushed through my mind then.. All those I had told you then...She was like me. Her parents were no more.. And I.. what did I do..
Your words rushed through my mind..
Humaare liye ye zaroori kaam hain please.( It's an important work for me , please..)
AAP HUMAARE AMMA-BABUJI KE BAARE MEIN KUCH MATH BOLIYE..( DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING AGAINST MY AMMA-BABUJI..)
Thank GOD they don't have to bear with you....
Oh what did I do!! I was completely shaken, penitent, how could I? I forced you to come, made you work late till night..AAH...I turned back, hearing your voice..
Khushi: Lekin humein kaam tha office mein aur nahi gayi to..( But I had work, in office, If I had't gone..)
Buaji: Lo, apni meethi baathon se us babua s ekaam bhi milwaayi..( Oh, you have got the job from Bbaua, with your sweet talks..)
I couldn't tolerate it, you never asled for this job, it was Di and how badly Buaji, thought about you..She cared only for her daughter, Payal.
Payal: Bas Khushi, shaanth hop jao, Khushi..( Stop, Khushi, calm down, Khushi.)
Payal's efforts to console you, went in vain and I could see you breaking down on the floor, letting out the entire grief to come out, that you had controlled the whole day.. Oh Khushi!! How I wished to take you in my arms then.. I stormed inside..
Buaji and Payal were shocked to see me there and you looked up, you just stared at me, tired, broken down..
Me: Mujhe maaf kar deejiye, meri wajah s eye sab hua, actually Khushi ne mujhe bohoth mada kiya aaj ka din, agar wo nahi hote to patah nahi kya ho jata meeting mein.. isko math daantiye..(Please forgive me, it's my fault. Everything happened because of me. Khushi helped me a lot today. If she wasn't there today, I don't know what would have happened in the meeting..Please don't scold her.)
I saw you quite surprised as if wondering whether I could speak softly like this? Khushi, I would always speak softly with you dear unlike those days..
Buaji nodded..Payal was relieved..
Me: Mujhe nahi patah tha, ki aaj barsi thi.( I didn't know that it was the death anniversary today..)
Buaji: ee Sanka Devi kuch nahi kahegi..( This Sanka Devi won't say anything ..)
She was right Khushi, you could have told me, but you always leave your worries in that little head of yours no?..
I got out and you followed me..
I turned back to look at you.
I think that was the first time I called you by your name..
Khushi: Dhanyavaad, sab kcuh ke liye..(Thanks, for everything.)
I was shattered then, after all that I did, she just thanked me, what a girl she is..
Me: I'm sorry, mujhe nahi patha tha..( I'm sorry, I didn't know..)
You looked up, with your mouth open as it wasn;t my habit to apologize, to anyone..A little smile crossed your face.
Me: Eh, kal tum office math aao. Rest karo.( Don't come tomorrow, take rest..)
Khushi: Nhai hum aayenge, yaahan baithe to..(No, I'll come. If I sit here,.)
I knew how hurt you were by your Buaji's attitude..
I nodded and walked back to my car. As I started and move along, I could feel my eyes on you, and for the first time, with some smile, some gratitude Khushi.. That was all I wished for, ever...
Khushi closed the diary and cried her heart out, remembering that day.. It was a fateful day when she couldn't make to to the ritual, for the first time on her life..
Khushi: Lekin jis tarah aapne humare liye Buaji se baat ki, uthna kaafi hain humaare liye, poori zindagi mein..(But, the way you talked for me, to Buaji, I just want that much only, in my entite life.)
She touched her mangalsutra, closed her yes and Arnav's image flashed in her mind, with the same look as that day, that same concern in his eyes, in his words...
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 61 times)
14th September 2012
I woke up early, thinking about you. Last week's events were well etched in my mind and I could detail everything point-by-point. I do not know how much I chided myself in my mind for hurting you so much. But the only respite was that I could at least save you from being scolded more, from your Buaji. I swore myself to make it a good day to you, to make you happy there, in AR, and quite fortunately, it turned out to be so. I freshened up and came down, to be greeted by NK's wife Pooja and Mami.
Pooja: Bhai, chalye, naashta taiyyar hain.( Bhai, come , the breakfast is ready.)
I nodded and sat down with my toast.
Mami: Hello Hai Bye Bye Arnav Bitwa, wo Khushi bitiya ka kaam kaisan chal rahath hain?( Hello Hai Bye Bye, Arnav Bitwa, how is Khushi bitiya's job going?)
Me: Acha hain Mami, wo bohoth taalented hain.( It's good Mami, she's really talented.)
Mami exchanged a glance with Nani and I saw it.
Nani: Konon nahi Chotte! Pehli baar aapse kissike baare mein kuch acha sun rahath hain.( Nothing Chotte! It's the first time that we are hearing a good opinion from you, about someone.)
I looked down to hide my embarassment. In fact, I told the truth only. You have flattered me with your talent Khushi. The change in our shows, presentations everything is so welcoming, after your arrival. Our work has improved a lot and things have become quite easy for me, as you could grasp everything so quickly, except my feelings..
Khushi smiled to herself.
Khushi: Aapki feelings hum achi tarah samajh sakthey hain Arnavji. Tab se..( I could understand your feeling reallyw ell Arnavji, since then itself.)
She sat there, thinking about those things that had happened in the office that day. A smile curved up on her lips..
Khushi: Us din humeon ehsaas hua Arnavji, ki humaari zindagi mein aapke alawa aur kisko bhi jagah nahi hain..( That day I realized Arnavji, that no one else has a place in my life, apart from you..)
I went to AR, anticipating to see her at her desk and I wasn't wrong. As I marched in, my heart raced up to witness the most unexpected thing. I looked towards your side and saw you looking up at the same time and smiling at me.
Khushi: Good morning!
Never had you done that after joining AR, until that day. You never cared to look at the arrogant ASR, far from smiling..
I sensed that I was also smiling at you and I nodded. I could see Aman gazing at us, quite awestruck, out of the corner of my eyes. I went up to my cabin and started my day with some optimism, some happiness, unlike every other day. Really Khushi, when I start my day after seeing that smile of yours, nothing can turn out to be bad.
12pm, Conference Hall.
I was ecstatic at that moment. I could manage to, no we all at AR could manage to make it big and obtain an all time greatest tie up with a London based MNC. The Director, Steve, was prasing AR for what we had achiebed over the course of time and I glanced sideways to see everyone, so overwhelmed, hugging and congratulating each other. Then, my eyes fell on you, Khushi. You were standing at the back, feeling awkward, left out from everything. You saw me then and looked away. I felt bad for you, and for the first time in my life, I manged to convey that clearly to you. I still do not know how. Maybe, your presence had started to change even then. I approached you and called Mr. Steve.
Me: Mr. Steve, meet our costume designer Khushi Kumari Gupta.
Steve: I know Mr. Raizada, in fact I forgot to mention you in my vote of thanks. I apologize for the same.
You glanced here and there, unable to decide what to do and I took your hand in mine, much to your surprise and led you to the front
Steve: I must say Miss Gupta you are extremely talented. I could see great passion in your works and it is indeed a great opportunity for us to work with such amazing youngsters like you.
You folded your hand and said ' Thank you Sir'.
I still had your hand in mine and I did not want to leave it. But you were feeling little embarrassed as everyone had notice this unseen nature of me then, and suddenly left my hand.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry..
Khushi: Koi baat nahi.( It's allright..)
I saw the same smile on your face and felt happy, proud, well what not. Finally I had managed to capture tour attention. What was coming next, that evening- I had no anticipation about it. Even today, a dreadful fear would creep in, when I think about that fateful incident..
I wanted to celebrate this big event with you alone that day. Well! I do not know what was happening to me in those days Khushi, I wasn't myself. In fact I wasn't the usual arrogant, introvert self, but the bygone loving, caring self which, I believe was brought back by your presence Khushi. The office staff were leaving one by one by 4pm. I had granted them an early leave that day to rejoice the moment and as I came down, I saw you, swinging the bag across your shoulder, walking to the front door. I waited for everyone to leave and ran along, to keep up with you.
Me: Khu. .Khushi!
You turned back, surprised, as I was panting.
Khushi: Yes Sir?
Me: If you don't mind, coffee peene chalein? Mein waada kartha hoon, tumhein late naho hoga, mein **** dunga ghar pe.( If you don't mind, shall we have a coffee? I promise that you won't be late. I'll drop you at home.)
I could read the apprehension from your face Khushi. If someone saw and told to Buaji, your day will be gone .
Khushi: Hum, akele.. Nahi Sir, dhanyavaad.( Me, alone.. No sir, Thank you..)
I flet bad, I really wanted to do something for you..
Me; Akele nahi, emin bhi hoon tumhaare saath( You aren't alone, I'm also with you.)
Khushi: Agar koi dekh lega to.( If someone sees..)
Me: Dekhne do..(Let them.)
You fidgeted with your duppatta and I was really enjoying the confused look on your face.
Me: Come on Khushi, bas ek baar, mein ghar ke paas ke road mein **** dunga, ghar ke saamne bhi nahi aunga.( Come on Khushi, just once. I willl drop near the side road, I won;t even come near your house at all.)
You seemed to be convinced and nodded. I felt happy.
All the way to the cafe, you were silent, unlike the usual blabbering and I felt something was wrong..We reached soon and I ordered a cappuccino for both of us. You could feel my gaze all the while and hence was avoiding me purposefully.
Me: Khushi! Koi problem hain?( Khushi! Is there any problem?)
You looked up, you were so serious.
Khushi: JI, kuch nahi hain..( No, nothing..)
Me: I guess you aren't okay. If you want to tell..
Khushi: Wo Buaji ke baare mein soch rahe the.( I was thinking about Buaji.)
I knew that you were really disturbed. I didn't want ot force you, but you started speaking suddenly.
Khushi: Buaji humein napasand karthi hain..Jab se humaari Amma-Babuji, accident mein chale gaye tab se. AUr jab ye naukri mili tab se baat kuch achi thi.. Aur pichle hafte, jab hum barsi mein nahi shamil thi tab,,( She dislikes me, since my parents went away in an accident. And after getting this job, things were good, but last week when I could make it to the death anniversary..)
I felt hurt. It was because of me..
Me:I am very sorry Khushi. I..
Khushi: Koi baat nahi, unhone aapke jaane ke baat bohoth daanta, aur humaare saath humseha aise hi hote hain.. Koi din acha nahi hota.( No problem, that day, after you went she scolded a lot. And with me, it happens everytime, not even a day is there, which is good..)
I felt myself searching for words to console you, but nothing came out. We finished our coffee and you waled back to the car, when I paid the bill. I turned back, hearing a car screeching to a halt and I got the shock of my life!! I still shiver, when I think about that moment..
I rushed to my car to see you knocked down, a crowd had gathered. The vehicle which hit you had gone away, without any trace. I was shocked to see your forehead bleeding and you were unconscious.. I took you inside and rushed to the hospital..
Doctor: Bas sar mein ek choti si chot lagi hain. Khabrane ki koi baat nhai hain. Shock ki wajah se behosh ho gayi hain..( Just a small wound on the head that's all. There's nothing to worry. She fainted beacause of the shock.)
I was raging then, I wanted to shout as much as possible for being so careless but I controlled myself and was at the same time, relieved to see you out of danger..
You opened your eyes slowly and looked around..
Khushi: Sir ye..
Me: HOW COULD YOU BE SO CARELESS? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS KHUSHI? I MEAN, KUCH HO JATA TO?(IF SOMETHING HAPPENED?)
You were astonished to see me so concerned. But I lost myself that day Khushi, I feared that I woild lose you and let out all the frustration on you..
Khushi: Sir please, hum ne bina dekhe..( Sir please, without seeing I..)
Me: DAMN IT!! WHY COULDN'T YOU SEE PROPERLY AND CROSS THE ROAD? WHAT IF SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED. WHAT IF I LOST..
I stopped myself then, withour revealing too much..
Khushi:Kay/ Kya kaha aapne?( What? What did you say?)
Me: Nothing.. Dhodi der rst karo, phir men ghar **** dunga..( Nothing. Take rest for sometime, I;ll drop you home later..)
It was 5pm then, I went out of the room, to hide my emotions, to hide myself from you Khushi, but I had a doubt that you realized my feelings..
Khushi's eyes watered after reading the last part and she closed her eyes, thinking about that day. She could still remember that look in his eyes, when he said those lines, and she could watch his mind, without any hindrance..
Khushi: Humein tab patah chala Arnavji, ki aapko humaara kithna fikar hain..Tab se hum fida hui thi..( I realized that day Arnavji, how much you cared for me.. I had fallen for you since then..)
She kissed his photo and went back to the diary...
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 58 times)
I went home, extremely shocked and broken. If something had happened to her! I went upstairs immediately and closed the door behind me. I sat on the recliner, closing my eyes, rewinding what had happened a few minutes ago. Damn it! What was happening to me! I had come across many girls, after coming to this profession, but I had never been drawn towards anyone so far. But she did it. She came to me, right to my heart,. I wasn't in love yet, but yes, she was always in my mind. I heard the sound of footsteps and got up quickly. It was Di.
Me: Haan Di, aao na.( Yeah Di, come in.)
I turned my back towards her as I knew that I would be caught. I couldn't hide anything from Di. But she came ot my side and looked into my eyes.
Di: Baat kay hain?( What is the matter?)
Me: Kaun si baat? Kuch bhi to nahi.( What matter? Nothing at all.)
Di took my hand and we both sat on the bed.
Di: Kya hua? Humse chupaoge?( What happened? Will you hide it from me?)
I shook my head and broke down into her lap..
Me: Di, wo..
Di was shocked. After our parents death, it was the first time that my eyes had watered. I had happened so suddenly, Di was asking me with so much of love and concern and all those that I had tried to suppress, tried to overcome, came out of me in a cascade. But Di, she did not say a word, she kept on stroking my hair and kissing my head, till she was sure that my sob had subsided. I looked up, with red eyes and she cupped my face.
Di: Hum haain na tumhaare saath.( I'm there with you no..)
I smiled and nodded. I told her everything that had happened Khushi- in fact everything, since our first meeting in the park till today. A whole month's journey..
Di: Ab kaisi hain Khushiji? Wo teek hain na..zyaada chot to nahi lagi?( How is Khushiji now? She is okay no? She didn't get hurt much no?)
Me: Wo sar mein dhodi chot lagi thi. Wo teek hain, lekin mujhe abhi tak wishwas nahi ho raha hian Di,( She got a cut on her head. But she is fine now. But I can't believe that myself, even now Di..)
Di smiled and kissed my forehead.
Di: Humein patha hain ki tumhaare saath kya ho raha hain.( I know what's happening to you.)
I looked confused.
Me: Tumhein Khushiji se pyaar ho gaya hain Chotte!( You have fallen in love with Khushiji, Chotte!)
Me: Pyaar? Rubbish, aisa kuch nahi hain Di..( Love? Rubbish, there's nothing like that.)
Di: Bilkul aisa hi hain Chotte.( It's like that absolutely..)
I got up and turned my back towards her. She touched my shoulder and whispered in my ears and I could remember each and every line even now also Khushi.
Di: Tum mano ya nahi mano lekin Chotte, pehli baar tumhein kisi ki chintha hone lagi hain, kisi ke saath waqt bithaakar khushi mil rahi hain, tum pehle jaise wapas aa rahe ho, ise math ****o Chotte, ise apna lo. ( Whether you agree or not Chotte, but for the first time, you are caring for someone, you are felling happy by spending time with someone, you are coming back to your old self. Please don't let it go Chotte, please make it our own..)
I turned to face her and saw the enthusiasm in her eyes, to see the change in me, to see me happy, to see me being loved by someone. I hugged her tightly..
Me: Di, shayad aap sahi keh rahi hain, lekin mujhe abhi tak ehsaas nahi ha hain, ki ye pyaar hain, aur mein ye bhi nahi jaatha ki wo kaise feel kar rahi hain.( Di, maybe you are right. But I do not know if it's love and I also do not know what she feels for me.)
Di: Humein poora yaqeen hain. Khushiji tumhaare liey bani hain.( I have a strong belief. Khushiji is made for you.)
Me: Usse ye sunne tak mein kuch nahi kahunga..( I won't tell anything until I hears it from her..)
Di smiled and left me. I smiled to myself and went to the pool side. I was completely broken when I came in here, but the presence of someone whom we love can change things a lot. And Di, did exactly the same thing..Apart from you, she is the only one who sees through my soul Khushi..
I bathed, went down and had dinner with everyone. Di had told about Khushi's accident to Nani and Mami also heard it. They were very much concerned. But other than that Di did not give away anything, as usual.
Nani: Chotte! Khushi bitiya teek hain na?( Chotte! Khushi bitiya is fine no?)
I was surprised. Khushiji se Khushi bitiya? (From Khushiji to Khushi bitiya?)She has become so dear to my family.
Me: Haan Nani, meine khud ghar **** diya tha.( Yeah Nani, I had dropped her home.)
Di didn't mention that we had been having coffee together.
Mami: Saasuma, ee Khushi bitiya bohoth naiyj howath hain na..( Saasuma this Khushi bitya is really nice no?)
Nani: Haan Manorama, both pyaari hain. kaash humein un jaise bahu milein.( Yeah Manorama. If only we could get a daughter-in-law like her!)
I choked my water and Pooja tapped on my head..
Pooja: Kya hua Bhai? Apa teek hain na?( What happened Bhai? Are you allright?)
I nodded. Di stole a glance at me and winked. Seriously Khushi, Nani and Mami had something on their mind, since the day they met you. They had advised me a lot to get married but I have never believed in such a ritual. In fact, I thought that no one would care to understand me deeply. Everyone would be after my business and wealth. But Di had always told me that there would be a girl without whom, I won't be able to breathe properly- who could completely overpower me with her unconditional love. I had always dismissed that thought, until I met you Khushi and after what I had heard from Di today, I thought well, you might be the one.
I went upstairs and paced back and forth. There wasn't much work for me today as we had gained a big deal s for now, it was a time to rest. I went to the poolside and stood there for along time, looking at the stars. I closed my eyes and your face came into my mind a usual. I wanted to meet you desperately but what would I state as a reason, if I did? I was confused. I went and lay down and tried to get some sleep. But I could not. I gave up after a long time and checked my watch. It was 11pm. I got up and took my car keys. I rushed down the stairs without stealthily in my new soft spikes and closed the door behind me. Well I was in front of your house in less than ten minutes. I switched off the engine got out. I almost stretched my hand to ring the doorbell- Oh I always lack some presence of mind. I withdrew my hand quickly and roamed around. The door was locked , I did not expect it to be the other way after all. I was sweating profusely, I did not want to go back without checking on you.
But I had no other way Khushi. As I was about to get back into my car, I had an idea. I went towards the backyard and managed to find that the back door was open-luckily for me. I closed the door behind me, without making nay noise and walked in. I came to know that you lived in a really small house. Only three rooms apart from kitchen. One was the hall, the other ones being Buaji's and your rooms. I assumed that you might be sleeping with your cousin and so I opened the door to Buaji's room quietly. But I was surprised to find Payal sleeping along with Buaji. You never came to know the broad smile that crossed my face then Khushi. I went to the next room and opened the door. There you lay, sleeping peacefully, in a taekwondo pose, hugging a pillow, that plaster on your head.
Khushi smiled to herself when she read those lines.
Khushi: Acha, to aap aise andar aye the us din.( Oho, so that's how you had come in that day.)
Khushi leaned back against the pillow and thought about that night, with the diary in her hand. She had opened her eyes, hearing the sound of her door opening, when she saw a figure-well known to her, coming in and closing the door behind him. She let out a gasp, which he couldn't hear and covered her face with the blanket, and pretended to be asleep. She could not face him. She went back to the diary and continued to read.
I looked around, the window was open, letting in the cool breeze and in the moonlit night I could see something shining above your bed. What was it? I wondered. Well those pretty small stars of yours, hanging from the tapestry. I touched them, in fact I touched everything in that room, walking around, to get a feel of you Khushi. I turned back and stretched my hand to remove the blanket covering your angelic face. I sat down next to you and tucked the blanket under your chin. Apart from the little bruises on your forehead and that plaster on your face, you were perfectly allright. I sat there, almost for thirty minutes and like always, time flew when I am with you Khushi. I wished to stroke your face and kiss your forehead, but withdrew myself as I assumed that I did not have that right, yet. I just stroked your hand and looked at you, for one last time and decided to get up.
Khushi thought how much she was disappointed that day. She had fallen for that Laad Governor, fallen in love for the first time in her life, and she wanted him to be with her, by her side, comforting her. She snuggled closer to him purposefully and held onto his T-shirt's collar. That was the only thing that she could do to prevent him form going away. She blushed when she thought about that and looked down.
Khushi: Hum bhi naa, kya kya karthey they..( I am too much. What all I used to do those days.)
She turned on to the next page, to read his version..
But as I turned, I was pulled back by something. I turned back and saw your hand holding my collar, snuggling close to the pillow. Your face was perfectly serene and I assumed that you wished to stay like that- Khushi, I started to imagine things that weren't even in your head. I placed my other palm over yours and sat back, watching you all the time, stroking your hand. I checked and saw that you were in deep sleep and slowly withdrew my hand after sometime. I put the blanket once more, properly and went out, closing the door behind me. I started the car and went back to Shantivan. That night, for the first time in my life since I was 12 years old, I slept off happily Khushi, thinking about you, my feelings for you were still unsure to me,but I believed deep within my heart that you had a really special place for me, in my life, in fact a very special one, like Di.
Khushi smiled through her tears, after reading this, well she had experienced his care, his still to be confessed feelings for her, that night, and what all had happened after that, that led to their wedding..
Khushi: Aap humaara kehna ka intezaaar kar rahe the Arnavji? Bohoth bure hain aap. Hum to kab se aapka intezaar kar rahe the.. (You were waiting for me to say it Arnavji? You are very bad. I had been waiting since when..)
She pouted her lips. She was still the same old self, wedding has changed her nothing, except the fact that her love for Arnav had become the reason of her existence.
15 September 2012, AR
I was in my cabin. I had come early to discuss about a new project and was in the midst of a con call with Akash and NK. They were in Mumbai, at that time, managing our affairs there. I answered when I heard a knock at my door.
Me: Come in.
I looked up hearing the sound which I was longing to hear, since morning..You came to me, with the details of the new materials which we had to buy and design for our upcoming show. But you waited patiently, till I was finished with the call.
Khushi: Sir ye list mein humne saari materials ke baare mein likha hain, humein jadi hi khareedna hoga, kalse hum desugning shuru karenge.( Sir, I've written all those details abotu the materials, in this list. We need to buy everything fast adn I'll begin the designing tomorrow itself.)
Me: Okay, and ab tumhaari tabeeyat kaisi hain?( Okay, and how are you doing?)
Khushi: Hum bilkul teek hain sir, bohoth dhanyavaad, kal aap nahi hote, to pata nahi kya ho jata.( I'm fine sir, thank you so much. I do not know what would have happened, if you weren't there.)
Suddenly your phone rang..
Khushi: Haan Buaji.( Yes, Buaji.)
I assumed that the news would have been really bad, since I saw your face falling and you seemed to be really disturbed and sad. You disconnected the call adn looked ta me helplessly.
Me: Any problem?
Khushi: Haan sir, ek choti si problem hain. Ghar mein.. (Yeah sir, there is a small problem at home.)
Me: Tumhein jaana hain to jao.(If you want to go, then go.)
You looked at me with your mouth open.
Me: Ab koi drama karne ki zaroorat nahi hain, tum ja sakthi ho.( Now, there is no need to create a drama, you can go.)
You smiled a thousand watt smile at me and ran down the stairs..But rally Khushi, I wanted to know what the problem was, that is why I followed you that day.
When I reached your home, I found you pleading to an old man and your Buaji was firing hard.
Khushi: Dekhiye humne kaha tha na hum ek hafte ke baad sare paise lautayenge.( Please, I told you no, I will return the money next week.)
Man: Aur koi bahaan nahi chalega, aap log aaj hi is ghar se nikaaliye.( No more excuses, you people please leave the house.)
I approached your verandah and you were extremely shocked to find me there..
Khushi: Aap yahaan?( You? Here?)
Me: Baat kya hain?( What is the matter?)
Buaji: Babaua, tum is mein hasthashep math karo.(Babua, you need not interfere in this..)
But how could I refrain from it Khushi?
Me: Too bad, because I've already interfered..
And there I began my ASR tone again, Khushi.
Khushi: Humein yaad hain.( I remember everything..)
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 68 times)
Buaji was taken aback. What influence had Khushi on me, that I reacted with so much of concern. She just stood there, watching my actions.
Me: Dekho yahaan problem kya hain?( See, what is the problem here?)
Khushi: Aap humaare saath aayiye.( Please come with me.)
I went with you to a corner and you began to explain me everything.
Khushi; Sir, ye ghar humne kiraye par liya hain, aur Buaji ki pension se hi ye ghar chal rahe the, ithne saalon se aur ab inhe dene ke liye pasie nahi the humaare paas, pichle teen maheenon se humne paise nahi diya. Aur humne agle hafte tak intezaar karne ko kaha lekin wo nahi maan rahe hain.(Sir, we had rented this house. We used to live with Bujai's pension all these years, but now we have not been able to pay the rent since the last three months. I had asked him a little time, till next week, but he is not budging.)
I did not know that you were too poor in those days Khushi. I understood then, how much you relied on this job. I thought for a while and well it was a chance to help you, so without a second thought, I went back to the landlord. I wrote a check for Rs.9000 and gave it to him.
Me: Teen mahine ke kiraye.( Rent for the three months.)
Man: Lekin mein ye nahi le saktha, mujhe aapse paise nahi chahiye.( But I can't take it. I don't want any money for you.)
Me: Mein inki taraf se de raha honn, and that's it..( I'm giving this on her behalf and that's it..)
Man: Teek hain, phir,.( Okay then.)
He went away. I noticed the flabbergasted look on Buaji's and Payal's face and ignored them. I saw tears in your eyes and wanted to take away my hands in the pocket and wipe them, but as always, I refrained.
Khushi: Sir, sir ye..
Me: Kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi hain.( There is no need to say anything.)
Khushi: Dhanyavaad sir, bohoth bohoth..( Thank you sir, thanks a lot.)
I nodded. And I wanted to take that grief away from you, so I had to be ASR again Khushi.
Me: Don't take it for granted. I'll cut this from your salary. Consider this as an advanve payment for your efforts.
I could see that you were shocked then, but the smile came back to your face then automatically. It is impossible to let you down Khushi. I walked back to the car and stopped when you called me.
Khushi: Phir bhi hum aapki aabhari hain Arnavji.( Even then, I'm indebted to you Arnavji.)
I turned back, eyes grown wide and saw your smile. How happy I felt then Khushi! I was so happy- it was the forst time that you had called me Arnavji. I felt so close to you then. I hid my smile and got inot the car but looke out to call you.
Me: Office wapas aa jao, jaldi.( Come back to office, fast.)
You nodded and stood there, watching, till my car was out of sight. As I drove away, I turned off the AC, brought my glass down and enjoyed the cool breeze, the smile lingered on my lips and I ran my hand thriugh my hair, your sound ringing in my ears..
Khushi clutched he diary close to her chest and smiled. She remembered, how she had felt so close to him that day, so dear, the way he had come to her rescue, for the umpteenth time, since the last one month, how he tried to hide his feelings, but it always ended up so clear in his eyes, how she couldn't stop herself from whispering Arnavji then.
She whispered. Her Buaji ahd scolded her a lot that day, but she forgot all those pain when she came back to office, later that day.
Buaji: Lo aa gayi Sanka Devi.( Oh, so Sanka Devi has come.) She heard Buai shouting when she went insdie after Arnav had gone back.
Payal: Khushi, ye tumhaare sir kithne ache hain, Devi Miayya ki lak lakh shukriya ki wo sahi waqt pe yaahn pohonch gaye, warna hum kya karthey.( Khushi, this sir of yours, what a nice person he is. Thanks a ton to Devi Maiyya, that he came at the right moment. I fnot, what would have happened.)
Khushi: Haan Jiji.( Yes Jiji.)
Payal: Waise jaise tune kaha waise nahi hain wo, bilkul Laad Governor jaise nahi dikh rahe hain.( By the way, he doesn't look like the way you had told. He doesn't look like a Laad Governor.)
Khushi: Jiji wo.( Jiji, eh.)
Buaji: Bas Karo! Bas.( Stop it! Stop.)
Buaji: Humein aur kuch nahi sunna hain.( I don't want to hear anything else.)
Payal: Lekin Amma, Khushi ne kya kiya?( But Amma, what did Khushi do?)
Buaji: Tum inke saath math do Payaliya, isne us Babua apnine wash mein liya hain aur kya azar hua hain inke upar. Humesha se hi aisi hain, apni baathin se logon ko ..( Don't take her side Payaliya. This gril has brought Babua on her side now and what an effect she has on him! She's been like this always, with her sweet talks, she has always..)
Buaji stopped when she saw Khushi breaking down and rushing to her room..
Payal rushed to her room, but Khushi had locked the room.
Payal: Khushi! Khushi! Darwaza khola na. Amma ki baat ko galath math mano.( Khushi! Khushi! Open the door, don't feel bad about Amma's words..)
Khushi: Humein akela **** deejiye Jiji, please, humne humne..( Pleaseelave me alone Jiji, I,I)
She was sobbing hard and Payal could hear her breathless sobs..
Khushi: Humne kuch nhai kiya, kuch nahi kaha unse, wo khud yaahan aaye the, aur humen kaha tha , roka tha.( I didn't do anything, I didn't tell him anything. He came here on his own and I had told him, I tried to stop..)
Payal: Hum jaanthe hain Khushi.( I know Khushi.)
Khushi: Usne paise diya, to hum kya kar sakthe the Jiji?( If he hs given the money, what could I do, Jiji?)
She continued to cry her heart out. Since she lost her parents when she was five, BUjai had baaen arrigant ot her. Always considered her a burden. It it hadn't been for Payal's loving nature, she would have left the house.
She came out, with her bag a little later and Payal rushed to her and hugged her tightly.
Khushi: Hum teek hain Jiji!!
Payal: Tumhaare Arnav sir ko humaari taraf se dhanyavaad kehna.( Say thank you to your Arnav sir, for me.)
Khushi nodded. Buaji was sitting in the hall, and she glanced at het out of the corner of her eyes.
Buaji: Haan, dhanyavaad karo.( Yeah, say thanks.)
She felt a little bad about what she had done, but did not say so..
Khushi opened her eyes, which were wet. That day had been too rough for her, at first she was quite pleased my Arnav's gesture, but later, she was broken by her Bua's attitude. But Arnav came to know about it. It was written on the next page.
I saw you coming back to your chair, an hour after my arrival.I called you up on the excuse of a meeting, just to see if you were okay. But I was shocked to see your puffy red eyes. You met my eyes and looked away suddenly.
Me: Kya hua? Tum, tum ro rahi thi?( What happened? You. Were you crying?)
Khushi: Nahi sir, bas aankhon mein dhool gira ..( No sir, just dust fell in my eyes.)
Me: Jhoot bolna nahi ati to koshish bhi math kiya karo.( If you can't lie, then don't even try.)
You looked up and I feared that you might break down any moment so I came to the point quickly..
Me: Kal humein Lucknow jaana hain.( We need to go to Lucknow tomorrow.)
Khushi: Kya baat hain?( What is it?)
Me: wo actually, subah tumne kaha tha na nayi materials ke baare mein, mein Lucknow ke ek dealer se baat ki aur unhone kal aane ko kaha. waise tum akele nahi ja sakthi, is liye mein bhi saat chalunga..( Actually in the morning you ahd told me abou the new materials no? I had talked to a dealer in Lucknow and he told to come tomorrow. You can't go alone, I'll aslo come with you.)
You nodded your head.
I wanted to know the reason desparately and so I spoke again.
Me: wo subah meine paise lautane ko kaha is liye tum pareshaan ho? Mein to mazak kar raha tha,( Em, I had told you to pay me back , is that why you are worried? I was just joking..)
You turned and silent tears rolled down your face..
Khushi: Nahi hum lautayenge, zaroor, warna Buaji, Buaji..( No I'll return it, sure, if not Buaji, Buaji.)
You broke down in front of me and that was when I came to see what you had been going through all those years Khushi, it came out all of a sdden, betraying you and I rushed to you..
Me: Khushi! Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry, meri wajah se.( Because of me..)
I wiped the tears on your face, in a non touch way, with just a finger and looked into your eyes.
Khushi: Nahi, aapki wajah se aaj humein ghar se nahi nikalna pada..( No, because of you we hadn't had to leave the house.)
Me: Tum, eh teek ho?( Are you okay?)
Khushi: Haan Arnavji. dhanyavaad.( Yeah Arnavji, thank you.)
Maybe I felt thrilled to hear Arnavji from your mouth for a second time that I held you by your shoulders and blinked at you to assure you that everything would be allright soon. You froze on my touch but did not jerk my hands away, but smiled at me and went away.
Khushi read the last line with a smile on her face.
Khushi: Us din hum bohoth khush the ARnavji, humein patah chala ki aap humein humesha bachayenge..(I was so happy that day, Arnavji. I came to know that you'll always be there, to save me..)
Khushi: Lekin agla din kya hua tha, hum iske baare mein padh nahi sakthe..( But what happened on the net day, I can't read that part..)
Her face turned a beautiful shade of crimson and she skipped the next page, but her heart urged her to read that part, so she turned back to that page and started reading about the day, when everything had changed, they had changed, they had confessed, they had become one...
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 63 times)
I woke up early next morning. Couldn't resist my temptation to see you as soon as possible dear. I got freshened up and came down. I was surprised to see Di coming out of the kitchen, so early.
Di: Chotte, aao na, naashta taiyyar hain.( Come Chotte, your breakfast is ready.)
Me: Di meine kaha tha na mein raasthe mein khaunga phir ithni subah ye sab banaane ki kya zaroorat thi?( Di I had told you no I'll eat on my way, then what was the need to prepare everything so early?)
Di: Hari Prakash ji hain na madad karne ke liye.( Hari Prakash ji is there to help me.)
I finished my breakfast soon and was taking leave. It was 5 30 am then. Just then Di came to see me off.
Di: Chotte, kab waapas aoge?( Chotte, when will you be back?)
Me: Aaj shaam ko Di, agar late hote to mein bathunga.( By evening Di, if it's getting late, I'll tell you.)
Di: Teek hain. Kal raat ke baad, tumne kya socha hain Chotte? Aaj keh doge unse?( Okay. And, after last night. what have you thought Chotte? Will you say it to her?)
I shook my head.
Me: Mujhe ehsaas hua hain Di, mein pyaar kartha hoon Khushi se lekin uski soch patha chalne tak mein kuch nahi kahunga.( I've understood Di, I love Khushi. But I won't ell her anything until I find out her thoughts about me.)
Di smiled her sweet smile and kissed my forehead. I went out, started my car and switched on my bluetooth. I assumed that you were waiting for my call, as you picked up instantly.
Me: Tum taiyyar ho gayi ho? Mein aa raha hoon.( Have you got ready? I'm on my way.)
Khushi: Ji Sir, mein hum baahar intezaar kar rahe hain.( Yes sir, I'm waiting outside.)
Me: Okay, see you soon.
I was surprised myself by this polite attitude of mine, which had cropped up recently Khushi. I smiled at myself and sped through the road and reached your home by 5 45. I do not know Khushi, how you managed to look so fresh, without even having your breakfast.
I copuld see Payal standing near the door, waving at you, as you got in and put on the seatbelt. As soon as I started the car, I gave you that parcel from my dashboard.
Khushi: Ye kya hain? Humaare liye?( What is this? is it for me?)
I was thrilled to see that curiosity on your face like a child waiting to open her first present Khushi.
Khushi: Naya phone?( New phone?)
Me: Us din meien tumhaara phone toda tha na, is liye.( Yes, I broke your phone that day no? For that.)
Me: So, Bujai ne mere saath aane se manaa nahi kiya?(So Buaji didn't forbid you from coming with me?)
Khushi: Nahi, humne kaha tha ki zaroorai kaam hain, is liye wo man gayi.( No, I had told that it's an important work, so she budged.)
Me: Nashta kiya?( Had breakfast?)
Khushi: Nahi sir, bhook nahi hain.( No sir, I'm not hungry.)
I apllied the brakes hard and you hit back against the seat.
Khushi: Kya hua?( What happened?)
Me: Pehle kyun nahi bathaaya?( Why didn't you tell before?)
Khushi: Sir wo hum..( Sir, I actually.)
Me: Kuch nahi sunna hain mujhe, chalo.( I don't want to hear anything. Come.)
I glanced at you and you had your mouth open, scrutinizing me. I think you might have been flabbergasted with this all new side of me Khushi- a changed me- displaying care, affection, concern, kindness. Well whatever it was, I managed to pull you out of the car and drag to the nearby restaurant.
I sat there, watching you, all the while you were eating, unnoticed by you. Really Khushi, when you are having food, even if a bomb is dropped, you won't know. Khsuhi laughed when she read this.
Khushi: Sach mein Arnavji. Humein khaana bohoth pasand hain.( Really Arnavji, I love food, a lot.)
She flipped on to the next page and continued.
We started again and reached Lucknow by 11. I had parked my car right in front of the dealer's office and he saw us and came out.
Dealer: Welcome, Mr. Raizada.
I took his hand and we went inside. I just introduced him to you and waited outside while you finished your business. Everything got over by 12 30 and the dealer promised to deliver the necessary things by the end of that week. We had lunch from the canteen and soon, it was time for us to go.
I looked for you everywhere and fianlly found you, under a tree.
Me: Khushi, chalo, humein wapas jana hain na.( Khushi, come, we need to go back right.)
I sensed that something was wrong and sat beside you.
Khushi: Waapas jaana zaroori hain kya, sir?( Is it necessary to go back sir?)
Me: Kya keh rahi ho tum?( What are you saying?)
To my utter disbelief, I found you sobbing hard and looking straight into my eyes.
Khushi: Sir, hum.( Sir, I.)
Me: Khushi. Kya hua?( Khushi. What happened?)
You sobbed hard and my heart ached Khushi, I couldn't bear to watch that. I raised my arm to hug you tightly, but withdrew it as usual. I still don't have the right. I reminded myself.
You maanged to speak in between the sobs.
Khushi: Yahaan se teek do kilometer jaane se humaara humaara ghar..( If we go two kilometers from here, my home, home..)
Khushi: Hum paanch saal go gaye the, humaare janam din mein Amma Bauji ka accident..( I had turned five, when, on my birthday, Amma Babauji met with an accident..)
You broke down and I forgot everything and hugged you tightly, stroking your hair.
Me: Khushi. ssh..
Khushi: Tab se hum Buaji ke saath reh rahe hain. Aur aaj, wo saari yaadein..( I've living with Buaji, since then. And today, all those meories were brought back.)
Me: Khushi. relax, rona band karo.( Khushi, relax, stop crying.)
You calmed down a little, after a while and pulled back, looking into my eyes again.
I was brought back to my senses and withdrew my hands quickly. But, you seemed to be hurt when I did that.
Me: Chal Khushi, mein tumhein tumhaare ghar mein le jaunga.( Come on, Khushi, I'll take you to your home.)
Your eyes twinkled with tears and you rushed to the car. We reached there soon and as soon as I stopped the car, you jumped down and rushed t the gate.
Me: Khushi! Careful.
It was an old tattered building, now covered with dust,cobwebs and extremely dilapidated. With a great effort, you managed to open the gate and I followed you. You went and sat on the verandah as every other room was locked and I sat beside you.
I looked around and when I glanced back at you I found you, looking at me.
Khushi: Dhanyavad Sir, humein yahaan laane ke liye..( Thank you sir, for bringing me here.)
I forced a smile. It's hard Khushi, when you love someone so dearly, so madly and still cannot express it, still cannot know what the other person is feeling. I was going through hell at that time.
Khushi: Aapne humaari tamannah poori kar li. Bohhoth shukriya aur..( You fulfilled my desire. Thank you so much and..)
You started crying again and everything went out of my control.
Khushi: Kaash, humaare Amma Babuji aaj yahaan hote .( Alas! If my Amma- Babuji, were here.)
Me: Mein tumhaari feelings samajh saktha hoon Khushi, apne maa baap ko khona, kaise tum toot gayi thi tab, ye sab mujhe patah hain kyunki mein bhi,..( I can understand Khushi, your feelings. When you lost your parents the, how shattered you were, I know it, because I also.)
Khushi: Kya?( What?)
Me: Khushi.. Kuch nahi.( Khushi, nothing..)
I started to walk back to my car, when you held my hand. I turned back to see you in tears again, pleading me, to come to you.
Khushi cried hard, when she read this part and she put the diary away, as she was afraid that it would smudge the ink.
Khushi: Arnavji. Hum, hum aapse ye kehne ke liye kab se taras rahe the. Humein, Humein nahi padhna hain ye baat.( Arnavji, I I, was yearning since when, to say it to you. I, I, won't be able to read it Arnavji..)
She closed her eyes tightly and cried hard, but after a while, she heard her own voice in her mind, urging her to go ahead. She won't be able to know how Arnav felt, at that moment. So she wiped her tears way, and started reading again.
I came near you and looked into your eyes. I knew ttta something was going to be said.
Khushi: Aap, bhi humein ****kar jaa rahe hain Arnavji?( Are you also leaving me Arnavji?)
I was shocked. Really shocked. That means you, you have loved me all this time?...Why did you torture me so much Khushi, if oy could have told it before. Why?
Khushi: Humaari Amma- Babuji ki traah himein ****kar jaa rahe hian aap? ( You are leaving me and going away, like my Amma- Babuji?)
Me: Khushi, tum kya keh rahi ho?( Khushi, what are you saying?)
Khushi: Humein nahi patah ki aap humaaare baaare mein kya soch rahi hain, lekin hum hum..( I don't know, what you think of me , but I. I.)
Me: Tum kya Khushi?( You what Khushi?)
Khushi: Hum aapse bohoth pyaar karthe hian..Bohoht zyaada.( I love you, a lot..)
I was shocked yet another time that day, my ears turned deaf and I could hear only those words of yours.."Hum aapse pyaar karthe hain Arnavji, bohoth zyada"..It echoed in my ears and mind and I froze on the spot.
Khushi: Agar aapko ye baat buri lagi to aap humein dantiye, chillayiye, lekin, hum humaara pyaar bilkul atoot hain.( If you felt bad about this, scold me, shout at me, but still, my love is intact, unbroken, always.)
It was my turn to break down then, I cried out loud, shocking you and hugged you tightly..
I d not know ow much time we stayed like that Khushi, but I remember pulling back looking into those lovely eyes of yours..
Me: Mein, mein,..( I, I..)
Khushi: Aap humein pasaand nahi kartehy.(You don't like me.)
I pulled back and looked at you horrified, how could you feel so Khushi? After all that had happened.
Me: Mein tumse sref pyaar kartha hoon, apne aapse zyaada.( I just love you. More than myself.)
You looked tormented, after hearing me and you surprised me Khushi, with that sudden hug and sob..
Khushi: Humein ****kar math jaayiye.( Don't leave me..)
Me: Kabhi nahi.( Never.)
And I pulled back and kissed your. forehead, freeing myself from all those self-imposed restrictions and smiling to myself after a long\g long time, enjoying life..
Dil ki Baatein.. (By Arunaarshi) (Thanked: 60 times)
Khushi! You pulled back after a while, feeling awkward. You had confessed, poured out your heart to me, everything happened in a split second that you were ashamed then. What if I was joking? What if I had just confessed for the sake of calming you down. But if only you could read my mind then dear, how happy I was. How perfect it felt.You looked deep into my eyes, as if searching for something. I still had my eyes wet, well you really do not know how desperately I longed for this moment. All I wanted was to know your mind, understand your feelings and then confess. I never expected that it would end up like this. But I was happy, so happy that I never felt contended in all those years, until then. I had no anticipation as of what lay ahead, how it will work out. The only thing that mattered was that to stay with you, forever and ever, tell you how much I craved for your attention and shower all my love upon but- only if you let me.
Khushi smiled through her tears, reading his thoughts and lay back against the pillow. She could read from his eyes, at that time, that he really meant it, but she was not at all in her senses. Everything was out of her control and she just wished ten that the awkwardness would get over soon.
Khushi: Aaap ithna kuch sehen kar rahe the tab Arnavji, lekin ek baar, sirf baar bhi huemin nahi bathaya, kyun Arnavji kyun? (You were suffering so much and did not even tell me once, at least once. Why Arnavji, why?)
Khushi: Par aapki aankhon se us din humein patha chala ki aap humaare liye kya mehsoos kar rahe the, lekin us ke liye dhoda dhoda intezaar karna pada.( But, I could read from eyes Arnavji, what you felt for me. I had to wait a little for that.)
She got up and sat with her legs crossed, to read the main part, where their life had changed forever
Me: Kya dekh rahi ho?( What are you looking at?)
You shook your head and silent tears came flowing down.
I cupped your face and leaned in. I could feel your heart beats turning erratic as always Khushi.
Me: Khushi! Mein bhi tumse bohot bohoth pyaar kartha hoon, shayad ye meien pehle bathana chahiye tha.(Khushi I also love you a lot. I should have told you before.)
You pouted your face and pulled my hands down.
Khushi: Humaare kehne ka intezaar kar rahe the aap?( You were waiting for me to say?)
I nodded slowly.
You started hitting me, on my chest furiously. Khushi, I never expected this at all. Suddenly you felt so close, accusing me of depriving you of my love all the while and went out of my control.
Khushi: Aap aap, aap bohoth burey hain, humein kithna rulaya. Humin kithna kuch sehen kar pada. Aap..( You, you are really bad. How much you made me cry, what all I had to suffer, you..)
I picked your arms in mine and pulled you closer.
Me: Khushi! Shh. shh.. Chup raho.( Khushi sshh.. shh. Keep quiet.)
You calmed down, but continued to sob and hugged me tightly, letting out all those pain that you had concealed so far..
A few minutes passed and your cries subsided. I pulled back and kissed your forehead.
Me: Tumhein koi irada nahi hain ki mujhe kithna kuch sehen karan pada.( You have no idea about how much I had to suffer.)
You gazed at me with those lovely red eyes.
Me: Pehli bar jab hum park mein miley the, tab se, aaj tak, ek bhi din tumhare baare mein bina sochey nahi guzartey.( Right from the first time we met in the park, till now there hasn't been a single day in which I did not think about you.)
You seemed to be surprised and tightened your grip around my waist, while I kept on stroking your hair.
Me: Har ek din, jab tumse mila, tumhaare kareeb aana chahtha tha, tumse waqt bithna chatha tha, jab tumhein apne ghar ke liye ladna pada, tab mein mein, apne baahon lena chahtha tha, aur aaj..( Each and every day when I met you, I wnated to come closer to you, I wanted to spend time wit you, when you had to fight for your house, I, I, desperately wanted to rush to you and hug you..)
I couldn't say anything else as I was the one who was crying now.
Me: I've always waited for you to call me that.
You smiled a little and hugged me tightly.
Me: Khushi! Mujhse waada karo, ki kabhi mujhe ****kar nahi jaogi.( Khushi! Promise me that you won't leave me ever.)
Khushi: Kabhi nahi, humaari aakhri saas tak.( Never ever. Till my last breath..)
But I stopped you, with my palm over your mouth and shook my head..
You hugged me tightly again, and stood like that till we lost the count of time.You pulled back and looked into my eyes lovingly. I still remember that moment Khushi, even now. You cupped my face and kissed my eyelids, letting all the tears go away and went a step ahead. I never thought you were so bold until that day my dear. I fell in love with you one again, when you pulled me closer to you and kissed me lightly, passionately and then deeply till you were running short of breath.
Khushi blushed when she read this part.
Khushi: Hum bhi na, kithne bes**** the tab.( Oh I'm too much. How shameless I was, then.)
She flipped onto the next page.
I called Di, to inform her that we were coming back and you also called Payal, on the way back in the car. I was driving at the top of my speed as it was already 530 pm and we had to reach before night. But destiny had other plans in store for us and I still thank my fate, well after your entry Khushi, I believe it was well God's work then, to unite us, forever. Hardly did we reach Lucknow main town, did we know that there had been a really tense situation prevailing over there. A svere riot had taken place, angry mob were taking out furious rallies all over the area and we were trapped.
I pulled over next to a wayside shop and enquirer the matter. A man told us that a curfew had been imposed till next day morning and no one was allowed to get on the road.
Khushi: Kya? Ab hum kaise waapas jaayenge?( What? How will we go back now?)
Me: Aaj hum Dilli waapaa nahi ja payenge. Yahi rukna hogaa.( We can't go back to Delhi today. We need to stay here.)
Khushi: Lekin kahaan? kaise?( But where? How?)
Me: Relax Khushi. Chalo hum yahaan kissi se pocchenge.( Relax Khushi. Come on, we'll ask someone.)
You were really worrid and I could imagine well, how your Buaji would react wher\n you broach this to her. You were fidgeting with your duppatta and biting your nails.
I went and asked to a person, who offered to help. All the shops and hotels were closed down and so we were left with only this option.
I walked back to the car and you were relieved to see me.
Khushi: Kuch patha chala?( Did you come to find anything?)
Me: Koi bhi dukaan ya hotel nahi hain is liye humein us aadmi ke saath jaana padega, wo huemin unke gha le jayenge.( There is no shop or hotel. So we have to go with that man. He'll take us to his home.)
Khushi: Lkein Arnavji, humein boghoth dar lag raha hain..( But Arnavji, I'm really scared.)
Me: Kuch nahi hoga Khushi! Kal subah hum waapas jayenge na.( Nothing will happen Khushi. We'll come back tomorrow morning no.)
We were really sad and got back into the car and followed the man. A few minutes later, we reached his house and got down.
I took out my phone and called Di.
Di: Hello Chotte!
I explained everything to her.
Di: Hey Bhagwaan! Ye sab kya ho gaya hain.( Hey Bhgwaan. What has happened now!)
Me: Di aap chintha mth keejiye, hum teek hain.( Di, please don't worry we are fine.)
Di: Teek hain, Khushi ji ka khayal rakhna.( Okay, take care of Khuhsiji.)
I could feel Di's smile over the phone.
I walked to the house and saw you already on the verandah, looking worried. As soon as you saw me, you took me to one side and held my hand.
Khushi: Arnavji! Hum yahaan nahi reh sakthey.( Arnavji! We can't stay here.)
Me: Problem kya hain?( What's the problem?)
You briefed to me that the house owner had only one\e room vacant, the one next to the verandah.
Khushi: Hum nahi reh sakthey aise.( We can't stay like that.)
Me: Teek hain, tum anadar so jao, mein baahar rahunga.( Okay, you sleep inside, and I'll sit outside.)
Khushi: Nahi!( No!)
Me: You can't sleep outside Khushi, no way..
You placed your hand on your hips and tried to argue but as always I won. There was no point in fighting. We walked back to the house and the man gave us the keys.
Man: Acha apki patni ka naam kya hain?( Okay, what's your wife's name?)
Both you and I shivered and turned back. So that's what they had thought when they offered us a single room. They assumed that we were married. I hoped it was true then Khushi.
Man: Bohoth pyara naam hain.( Lovely name.)
Khushi, I caught you blushing slightly and looking away, when our eyes met.
The house was really small and there wasn't enough room for everyone to sit and have dinner. So the family took us outside and served the food. They were really welcoming and the man's wife liked Khushi a lot. Well, who didn't? While we were in the midst of the meal, to add to our worries, plus excitement, it started to rain heavily. Everyone rushed inside and it was when I turned back that I saw you dancing happily in the rain. Really Khushi, I've never seen someone so madly in love with the rain I rushed to you and tried to pull you back, but in vain.
Khushi: Arnavji! KIthna mazaa aa raha hian, aayiye na..( Arnavji! It's really lot of fun. Come please.)
And I was also drenched along with you.
Maybe my look was so intense that you pulled back suddenly, blushed and ran into the verandah..The wife, came back and was shocked to see us drenched completely.
Wife: Arrey aap dodnon kithne bheegey huye hain. Andar chalo.( Arrey, how have you drenched yourself. Get in.)
I ran to the verandah and the lady came back with spare clothes. A shirt and pants for me and a white saree and blouse for you.
Me: Pehle tum change karo.( You change first.)
The family went inside and locked their rooms.I took off my vest, my shirt, squeezed off the water and put on my new shirt. It felt so cool. I changed my pants also and dried my hair. By that time, the door next to the verandah( our room) opened and I couldn't see you. I came in with my wet clothes in my hand and lay them on a table to dry. Well, I looked for you everywhere and finally found you, standing with your back against me, next to the small bed. I smiled, locked the door and came in..I can't describe what happened later dear, I can't write it down, I don't want to as I fear if some one may read our secret. So I'll continue with the next day's events.
Khushi felt sad, as she wanted to read that part badly and closed the diary for the time being..She remebered each and every thing that had happened that night and lay down on her stomach on the bad and closed her eyes, thinking about them.
She was standing in front of the really 'small' bed clutching the tip of her saree, feeling extremely shy and uncomfortable. The saree was almost transparent, her waist cold be seen well even in the dim light.
The blouse was little small for her, so she just managed to pin the buttons and it was well above her stomach, all the more making it look like a low waist saree. She could hear her heart beating violently and she placed her palm over it. That's when she felt a touch on her shoulder.
But she did not turn and Arnav turned her to face him. She immediately closed her eyes with her palms and Arnav stood in daze. Was this the same girl who was just siting in a simple salwar, with him a few minutes ago? Well Khushi looked extremely pretty and Arnav couldn't take his eyes off her. He stretched his hand to touch her, but withdrew it.
Arnav: Khushi, idhar dheko.( Khushi, look here.)
She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him. Arnav skipped a heartbeat as her look alomost killed him. She turned back again and this time, Arnav couldn't resist.
He slid his hand along her waist and she leaned back..
Arnav: Mujhe patha nahi tha ki meri girlfriend ithni khoobsoorat hain.( I never knew that my girlfriend is so beautiful like this.)
He whsipered into ears.
Khushi: Arnavji, hum humein daar lag raha hian, ****iye humein..( Arnavji. I, I'm scared, please let me go.)
Arnav: Teek hain. Ek baar **** diya to phir kabhi nahi pakadunga.(Okay, if I let you go once, I will never get hold of you again.)
Khushi turned back, shocked and placed her palm over his mouth.
Khushi: Aisa math kahiye.(Don't say like that.)
Arnav took her palm and kissed it, causing her to shiver.
He took her towards the window and the dim streetlight feel over her through the ventilator. He looked at her top to bottom, and Khushi looked away, unable to meet his gaze..She turned and found herself in his arms much to her surprise. He placed her on the bed carefully and climbed on top of her.
Khushi closed her eyes in apprehension, but Arnav gave a quick kiss on her forehead and lay down next to her. She opened her eyes and looked towards him.
Arnav: Mein tumhaare ijaazat ke bina kuch bhi nahi karunga Khushi. Kabhi nahi.( I won't do anything without your permission Khushi. Never.)
Khushi rolled over to him and hugged him tightly..
Khushi: Humaare pyaar pe humein bharosa hain Arnavji.( I have trust in our love Arnavji.)
Arnav smiled and leaned in to kiss her while she responded passionately, then wildly, clutching him close to her, by his hair. Arnav was extremely in love then and slid his hand under her waist, causing her to shiver altogether and and stroked her waist and pulled her saree down.
Khushi pulled back in shock and looked into his eyes playfully. Aranv felt guilty, but Khushi smiled, blinked here eyes.
Khushi: Hum samajhtey hain. Humein bharosa hain aap pe.( I understand. I trust you.)
Arnav kissed her waist and pulled down her blouse, while she removed his shirt and clung close to him, kissing him passionately till bot were satisfied.. A beautiful night followed after, where two made for each other souls, united, by God's grace, as a prelude to a lot of beautiful moments, yet to arrive..
Meery X'Mas and advance new year wishes!!! :)